She charmed her way into my heart and even told me that she loved me, wrote poetry about me, told me that she wanted to be with me. As suddenly as she turned on, she turned off. I feel like a fool because I knew that it was all happening too fast. I played along anyway because it was exciting, but now I find myself hurt more deeply than I have been in a long, long time. I didn't realize how much a woman can hurt...she took my heart and took the words "I love you," and threw them back in my face. I don't understand...any advice that might ease the pain?
2006-09-15 06:02:04 · 14 answers · asked by sweetpea 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
If I can pretend to be a psychologist for a minute.
Love online can happen, but it takes time to build, just like in real life. I have two friends who met on a bulletin board. She was from the US and he was from Australia. They kept it low key until he came to the states, and then they got married. She stayed in the US until she graduated college and then moved to Oz to be with him.
I think the internet is a good place to meet people. It can be better than bars and other venues, but just like real life certain people tend to hang out at certain places. So it helps to find a community that fits you. The internet is a good place to meet people but not to maintain a relationship, which really requires proximity (especially at the beginning). In other words, if you like someone you talk to online, try to meet them in the real world, as soon as is reasonable. (Like during Christmas break, after college students graduate and universities labs are closed.)
What tends to happen online is infatuation. Just like offline, infatuation is a rush of emotions and body chemistry that begins when you meet someone who fits certain key characteristics that arouse you. The difference between Infatuation and love is that infatuation is where the emotions tend to cloud the image and fill in the blanks with the image of the perfect love you desire to have. It's basically pattern recognition, an emotional version of pareidolia.
Unfortunately, Infatuation is temporary and can disappear as soon as it begins when a person realizes that their perfect image differs too much from the reality. It can also be pushed aside by a new infatuation. Long lasting love is what you get after you actually fill in the blanks and learn to accept the person despite the differences between them and the image of your perfect love. Infatuation is not a bad thing, it can be loads of fun and the perfect jump-start to a wonderful long-term relationship. The key is recognizing when you are infatuated, or someone is infatuated with you, and not mistake it for something else.
At least, that is my hypothesis. Maybe I should write a book called "Enlightened Infatuation: A Ratio-of-Reality Index for Falling in Love"
Okay, enough of that. Doctor Drew mode off.
2006-09-15 10:25:25 · answer #1 · answered by Wyld Stallyns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were too vulnerable and let this woman get to you. Think about it... you are not IN LOVE. You are just hurting for the loss of the FANTASY of love that you created in your own head about this stranger whom you'll probably never get to know face-to-face anyway. You're grieving what never was...and what never will be! Don't worry, this too shall pass!
2006-09-15 06:07:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dana...don't believe everything you hear from a complete stranger. Are you sure it was even a woman ????
People can say whatever they want on here, KNOWING that the chances of actually meeting the person they are talking to are slim to nothing .
My advice.....don't talk to her any more. And beware of wolves in sheep's clothing !
2006-09-15 06:10:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as you said, you played along but you got played more. Dont fall in love instantly online especially if you havent met the person yet. It could be that she was just testing to see how fast can she get someone to fall for her online.
2006-09-15 06:08:07 · answer #4 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In PUBLIC?! costly Primus, what's this international coming to on the same time as the damn straights think of of they might harm out with airborne dirt and dust like this? Knew we would desire to continuously in no way have given them equivalent rights. Permagrin: Kudos on the Ghostbusters quote!
2016-12-12 08:58:52 · answer #5 · answered by shoaf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't' you feel you've just live an episode of the Twilight Zone. Some chicks are scary. Be afraid, be really afraid.
2006-09-15 06:08:44 · answer #6 · answered by Izzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
r/l is better than online any day. find someone real to fall for.
2006-09-15 06:06:34 · answer #7 · answered by janine a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can turn it off just like she did. find someone else that's nice and talk to them :)
2006-09-15 06:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont fall in love over an instant message..........oh wait...i think i love you....wanna go out? we might be together forever
2006-09-15 06:04:13 · answer #9 · answered by nicole 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you write a short novel,have fame, maybe fortune
2006-09-15 06:05:25 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋