I am getting married to girl i met a year ago next month,she said she was with her ex for 6 years offered no commitment,she said the only reason she put up with him was sex was fantastic.well after he dumped her 6 mths on she met me within 2 mths she had moved in,within 4 mths she sold her house,she tells me she loves me all the time but sex between us is dull she never wants to do anything but she was like a pornstar with her ex,this worries me,i need your advice am i doing the right thing by marrying this woman,oh i have tried talking to her and she sulks and tells me its different between us because she loves me.help!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-15 05:26:47 · 32 answers · asked by jonas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
how u gonna ask strangers if you girl loves you. how would we know?
2006-09-15 05:28:24 · answer #1 · answered by rogdogg187 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right there is definitely something wrong here. If it is different because she loves you it should be better don't you think. Maybe sex with her ex was not as good as she says. Try talking to the ex. Just be honest with him and ask if there where any problems in department. he may tell you the truth since he dumped her. Sex is not the most important part of a marriage, but it is a very big part. If it is not satisfying to you, you have to discuss this with her. you can not spend the rest of your life unsatisfied. And marriage is commitment to one person. Think really hard about your situation. Really hard. Good luck
2006-09-15 05:37:20 · answer #2 · answered by sheila s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex going dull is a sign that she's not into you and she is just trying to create the intensity that she had with her ex... that's why she was so quick to move in. One year is not enough time. If you still think you have a chance with her, put the wedding off for a year and see how things go. How can you know you want to spend forever with someone after only a year?
2006-09-15 05:35:30 · answer #3 · answered by SexxyPrincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe you should put the wedding on hold. If you have been dating for a year and the sex is down the tubes already i would say the attraction on her part may not be there. Alot of women are in a rush to get married and the only reason she may still be around is because she wants a wedding.
2006-09-15 05:29:53 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. Brown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she wants to be treated like a sl*t in bed and an angel any other time ,
she loves you for the angel bit and knows this is the most important thing which is why she will marry you .
but
her ex made her feel like a pornstar by using her as a sex toy with no thought for her feelings and she loved it because it allowed her to do things she would never have the guts to suggest herself and she knows that you would never do that because you love her .
You need to switch off your emotions when it comes to sex , don't ask her to do things tell her , she wants to be controlled because she can tell herself afterwards that it wasn't her fault .
Perhaps you should ask her to buy you some pornographic movies and when she brings them home say "you'll do for me what's in them movies or we are not getting married"
Don't take no for an answer and she'll love even more for it .
Good Luck
2006-09-15 05:45:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ask me it is very rushed!!
You need to be a 110 percent, to marry this woman.
You need to really wait for the right time for you to marry her, I am sure if you ask her to wait for a little while until you are sure that she is the one that you want to marry her. If she is willing to wait then good but if not then it was never going to be.
Basically what I am trying to say is this: Wait until you are happy.
I truly think that it is all moving to fast and who knows she might still have feelings for her ex.
I have been married for 13 years now.
I am 33 and my husband is 41. I met him when I was 13 and he was 21, we got engaged when I was 16 then married when I was 21.
If she is right for you she will wait until you are ready!!! Be straight and open with her, and stay calm, I think that she might have guessed already that something is up. Us woman are good at that. Talk to her. Before it is to late.
And good luck!!!
2006-09-15 05:46:29 · answer #6 · answered by samleigh40@btinternet.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she just wanted him 4 sex but with u it is different? ask her why she keeps talking about her ex? that would worry me because she still has issues with him. personally i,d wait about the marriage before doing anything else. the sign she sulks obviously means she is hiding something. if ur gut instincts tell u to back off a bit then do that. good luck
2006-09-15 05:31:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALRIGHT. First, after awhile SEX is NOT as important to women as it used to be. She may just want to do it a few times with you, but she is smiling inside because its tacky and soooo cute and she knows she has found the right person. No girl would KEEP telling her man she loved him if she really didnt. If she only told u she loved you once, but then said quit talking about it, when you asked her again---THEN you would no she doesnt like u. But as you say, i definently think she does. Just chill. relax, good luck
2006-09-15 05:33:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's true,
No offense, but with a man, they express they're love by making love,
With a girl we express it in many MANY different ways. A lot that men don't see. I know this because it was that way with my ex, Everytime he wantesd sex, an I didn't he would pop off with, "u don't love me"
What she is saying is probably true. Angry sex is the best sex, but you two are not angry, you're in love. So it isn't just SEX to her, it really is making love.
If you truly love her, and want the best, then i say marry her. You probably helped to heal a very deep wound that her ex left her. So take comfort in that.
2006-09-15 05:34:32 · answer #9 · answered by danksprite420 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you were sure of what you're doing you wouldn't have to ask a lot of strangers. I always say that if you have doubts then the answer is no. Bide your time and consider things more. Can you see yourself living like this [or worse] for the rest of your life??
2006-09-15 06:48:34 · answer #10 · answered by xbkw46 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anytime your not sure about loving or trusting another the dumbest thing you can do is marry them,that won't change them or make the problem go away.Do nothing until your sure,if your being pressured into answering say no.
2006-09-15 05:31:07 · answer #11 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋