The father of my 2 babies won't marry me or even talk about it. He doesn't seem to forgive me for keeping the pregnancies (he wanted an abortion) and yet he says that he loves me and won't go away (we live together). We have been together 3 years and I was wondering if I am wasting my time by staying with him because I want to get married someday. Will he ever change his mind?
2006-09-15 05:25:53 · 27 answers · asked by SexxyPrincess 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not looking for judgement. My kids are happy and healthy and he's really good with them. I just think marriage is important.
2006-09-15 05:38:15 · update #1
He might just be scared of things changing between the two of you, and you know you should think of protection, I can understand where he dont want anymore kids because it is to hard to raise them these days, but i dont approval of abortions, but I think you should think responablety of respecting his feelings too. If you decide to have more kids that should be discusion that should be what both want not just one. ok
So use protection, and think of both sides, It just cost so much to raise kids these days and you will be doing good to raise the two you have. til you both get better stabled.
He might be feeling like you tied him with two kids, and he isnt ready for to be tied with a wedding bells and a marriage licences
which might be smart on his thinking, but at least he is there with you and helping you with the kids that is what is important.
if he isnt ready for that step then respect him for that. and if all your wanting is to get married then maybe you do need to move on, but then what if it dont work out , if it is working the way it is now dont messed it up.
Like my grandfather use to say if something works and works good dont try to fix it you might mess it up forever.
2006-09-15 06:10:56 · answer #1 · answered by barbara g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sure are wasting your time, I would give him a choice, eather marry you or get his things and get the hell out. Also, take him for all the money you can. Make him pay out his ***, Go to the leagel- ade service and report him as a nonpaying father, also, get your family involved, (DAD,BROTHERS.) just whoever. A bum like this Aint looking for a married relationship. all they want is what has don happened. He will never amount to a thing. When a man ask a woman to have an abortion he is lower than a magots belly. If you were my Daughter, That no-good s-o-b- would pay dearly. Dont stay with him. Leave or make him leave.
2006-09-15 12:42:26 · answer #2 · answered by mswildman2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you leave with the kids and tell him the only way to get you back his marriage there might be some hope. And that's only going to work if he truly loves you and the kids.Other than that I would have to say that you should of thought of that before giving him everything for free that a wife does . If you do nothing , things will most likely stay the same . he has no reason to marry you. why should he?
2006-09-15 12:51:07 · answer #3 · answered by jassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should leave he loved you enough to have sex with out a condom but not to marry you have to answer this on for yourself...
Do you want to stay with someone who dont want to marry you or do you want to find someone will marry ..
You knew that he did not want to have kids which meant he did not want a family and by you having them what made you think he was going to change his mind.....
You can not trap a man with kids....
I see it this way you two are living together why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free...
Think about the question you have asked and ask yourself should you say or should you go
2006-09-15 13:12:00 · answer #4 · answered by Tee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't now what to tell you girl, if he doesn't want to married you nothing is going to chance that. I think is better if you guys are like that he seems like he has a grudge for you so forget about it just enjoy being with your kids. The right man will come in your life and you will be really happy.
2006-09-15 12:45:41 · answer #5 · answered by ~My 1st. Girl~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should just ask him? Ask if you are wasting your time with him, and he shouldn't be making you feel guilty for keeping your two babies! Aren't they adorable? Aren't you happy they are in your life?! He should be honored to be a daddy, but if he does have no intention of getting married, tell him you will have to seriously consider leaving him because you don't want to be in a relationship that is stagnatting. Be prepared for either answer too!
2006-09-15 12:28:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him straight up what his plans our with you and his children! I guess not even talking about marriage is easier than saying flat out "no" to you. Sounds to me like he has no intention of marrying you. Look at his actions. The kids are here, he should let go of his resentment and move on. You did not get pregnant by yourself. Move out or make him leave. I hate to hear of families breaking up. Good Luck to you.
2006-09-15 12:38:16 · answer #7 · answered by Poetess_4U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he resents you for keeping the children and doesn't want to get married, it's not likely he'll change his mind any time soon. He has it all without the legal tie-down. It's time he lived up to his responsibilities, or you'd be better off leaving him and starting over, as difficult as it might be.
2006-09-15 12:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is that you are probably waisting your time. Deal with the heartache and get out now while you can. Because the worst thing that will happen will be that he'll cheat on you and marry someone else. Then you have stood beside him through thick and thin and then got left with nothing.
2006-09-15 12:28:37 · answer #9 · answered by jasmine b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not to sound like a prude or anything but: Maybe you should have thought of that before you had two kids with the guy.
As the old saying goes: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
2006-09-15 12:27:57 · answer #10 · answered by Junior 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋