I recently left because we were living with her mother and the situation was out of control. When I tried to come back she told me she thinks we should spend some time apart and now is living with her mom and raising my kids without me, this has been going on for a little over 2 months now. I really love and miss my family but I do not think my wife misses me, I have been telling her I am sorry it was not her, I love her, I miss her etc... and I get nothing. Everyone tells me just leave her alone but I always have that urge to call again and tell her I love her and miss her even though it will likely get me nowhere. Any thoughts?
2006-09-15 05:13:42 · 9 answers · asked by jbrown280000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like your in a tough situation. my advise is to just give her time make sure you have a place for her and the children to live her mother may be influencing her to get rid of you living there can not be healthy for the relationship
2006-09-15 05:18:41 · answer #1 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can absolutely call her and also see your children.
Your wife and mother-in-law have some blame in this because your wife chose her mother over you. If the role was reversed wouldn't your wife expect you to come to her defense? Also living with relatives is very stressful even under the best circumstances.
You both need counseling and to work toward getting your own place. Communicate with her rationally even if she is intolerant.
Good luck.
2006-09-15 12:31:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah, I have heard that story before. My ex-husband, and I say that proudly, came to me one day with the same line. My initial response was,"ok, maybe we could separate and find ourselves and miss each other so that we could value what we had", but his intentions were totally different. We did that and after about 2 or 3 months, I found out that he wanted the separation because he was cheating on me and he wanted to see how things would work out with the other woman before he totally destroyed our relationship. I am not saying that this is the exact situation that you are in, but it is possible. I am not sure to what degree you have hurt each other and the reason for the separation but if she wants the space give it to her and move on. If she was the person that God meant for your soulmate, she will come back to you. Weigh your options before you let yourself continually be emotinally attached to someone who can careless about you. Love is not a one way street, you have to give to get and vise versa. What you do from this point on is solely at your discretion. Last but least, learn to love yourself before you love anyone else because you can loose sight of who you are and your moral standard if you let love for someone else control "you".
2006-09-15 12:24:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the very least, you have a right and a duty to see your kids and participate in their life. You should call her, but don't call to talk to her but to talk to the kids. With respect to your wife, I think perhaps you deserve a little punishment because you walked out on her. But still participate in the kids' lives. Unfortunately, if this does lead to a divorce, your not trying to contact the kids may be used against you in a custody proceeding.
2006-09-15 12:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u really should just try to be as strong as u can by not calling her. if you do call say u are just calling to see how the kids are doing. and keep it super cut and dry. then get a place of yuor own and let her know u have made a home for u and your family to start fresh. if she doesn't come around, then i think she probably wants out of the relationship. absence makes the heart grow fonder, but too much makes the heart wander!!!!!
2006-09-15 12:24:15 · answer #5 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you quit calling her she will wonder why and be calling you. But why is she raising your children without you? Whether you're together or not, you still need to see your kids and be a part of their lives.
2006-09-15 12:19:55 · answer #6 · answered by bluez 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about sending her a thoughtful card or some flowers or something...maybe to show her that you really care and are thinking about her...:)
2006-09-15 12:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by Hydee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to this website and buy the book. Then participate in the online forums. It will help you greatly!! It did me!! :)
http://rrr.kimcm.dk/bookinfo.php
2006-09-15 13:02:25 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the more you bug her the worse it gets........if you keep calling her its like she doesnt even get a break.......go out with your friends and quit bugging her....
2006-09-15 12:21:17 · answer #9 · answered by the boss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋