He admits to giving girls his number in the past, but he swears it never went further than that, but the messages I've heard and the pictures I've seen indicate something different. One girl even called me and told me they had sex. Since we've had our child two months ago, he's hasn't been going out as much and he has apologized for giving his number out and says that he wants us to get married but I'm afraid to trust him again. Deep down inside I feel like I should leave him, but we have a child together now and I want my child to grow up with a stable family environment. Another part of me wants to give him a second chance, but I feel like if I just "forgive" him this easily he'll do it again..and maybe more the next time. What should I do? Should I give him another chance or should I just let it go? We've been together for 3 years now.
2006-09-15 05:09:42 · 8 answers · asked by LostTrust0108 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I feel for you. Clearly you are not in the loving and caring relationship you deserve, especially just months after giving birth to this man's child.
First of all, it sounds like you are aware of what has been going on. I just want to say, in case there is any doubt in your mind, what you have described are unmistakable signs of repeated unfaithfulness. Don't give him the benefit of the doubt, he is actively cheating on you.
You are going to have to trust your heart and your gut in your decision to go or stay. You shouldn't be with someone who isn't committed to you, but I can understand your wanting to stay with the father of your child. It sounds like you really want this to work, so here is what I think is your best bet.
Give him ONE CHANCE to get this right. Sit him down and tell him that you know about the cheating and his behavior. Don't let him talk his way out of it. Tell him you are not going to remain in an unfaithful relationship and are prepared to leave him if things do not change immediately. Give him a choice. Tell him that things can remain the way they are and you will leave, or that he can recommit to the relationship and make a permanent change. When he chooses the latter, make sure he knows that you mean business. He needs to delete phone numbers, pictures and voicemails and cease contact with these other women. (Friends are one thing; clearly you don't want to demand he cut off contact with his friends, but random women need to go). And let him know that if anything like this happens again, you are OUT. And stick to it. You deserve nothing but the best for yourself and your baby. Either he will give you what you deserve or you will find it elsewhere. Good luck!
2006-09-15 05:19:16 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the a**hole and let the child know what a scumbag his father is----I mean, come on, if you let his butt off the hook this easily, then he very likely will do it again-unless you are absolutely sure that you want to give him another chance-you risk having your heart broken, being shamed, others knowing he is cheating on you, and other hardships if you stay with him-but if it is that important to you for your child to have a stable family life-go for it-but it will not be that stable if the dad is out cheating on you, he never will be home-hes out having sex elsewhere-so I don't know-personally, if I had any number of kids, be it 1 or 10 (well, i never would have 10) and my man did that to me, I would dump his a** in a second-no one does that to me, and once the trust is gone, it will NEVER, and I mean NEVER return for that person who betrayed it----and my fiance knows that is the damn truth-and I told him if I am so important to him, then he better not hurt me because I WILL LEAVE! Good luck girl!
2006-09-15 05:18:06 · answer #2 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want your child to grow up in a stable family environment. Yet you are not married to the childs father - you are just living together? I'm sorry, but at least in a marriage there are some consequences when the marriage breaks up - when you are living together its pretty easy to just say -- see ya! I think you made a baaaad choice.
but.. to you question. You need to trust your feelings.. if you believe that more went on then it most likely did. will he change? nope. how can I be sure? because unless he decides what he did was wrong and makes the effort himself to change his behaviors then he has no intention in changing. He just appolgized for giving his number out.. bit deal.. but did he change it so it wouldn't get called anymore? did he change his email so they couldn't send him pics anymore? did he explain why he did these things? i doubt it.
I'd leave. get a place of your own. make sure he helps to support his child and move on with your life.
2006-09-15 05:20:42 · answer #3 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be a doormat...just because you have a child. You will always be wondering and worrying when you should be paying attention to your child. The life you are describing is not stable at all. What if you end up with a STD?? What if it is aids? Who is going to raise your child?? Possibility of passing to your child if you breastfeed? Why don't you be the one girl that got away? Your life and your child's will so much better for it!!!
2006-09-15 05:15:56 · answer #4 · answered by sassilass06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, sweetie, let it go. Take your baby and raise your child to be a respectable adult. You deserve more than that and you will have the opportunity to meet a responsible and trustworthy person. He gave out his number while with you- that says enough! He doesn't have consideration for you- even as the mother of his child! Trust me, he won't change his ways and you will simply waste your time and prolong your suffering. Make sure that you file for child support, as well. Always respect yourself and associate with people who treat you well- you have to set that example for your baby!
2006-09-15 05:16:36 · answer #5 · answered by Geeky Girly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
easily me and a number of my pals used to do a touch of those on sunday afternoons (in basic terms 10, eleven, 13, and 14). used to freak out the wal-mart human beings rather when I did variety 14 contained in the approach the save not understanding one develop into following me and variety 10 contained in the carrying products. regardless of the reality that a number of the others I easily don't have the heart to do.
2016-11-27 00:35:08 · answer #6 · answered by nevius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not trust him. He may love you but once a cheat always a cheat. he dont want to tell you the truth cause he is afraid you will leave. good luck
2006-09-15 05:13:09 · answer #7 · answered by april A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him 2 change his no.
2006-09-15 05:13:05 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋