My boyfriend is a great guy. I love him, I like him, I trust him, I'm very attracted to him. I don' t want to be with anyone else. We've talked about marriage, but the thought of it still kind of scares me. Is it just the thought of putting so much of my future in someone else's hands? Has anyone else felt this?
2006-09-15 04:38:15 · 17 answers · asked by crabbygirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Every responsible person feels this way. It is a serious decision and commitment, not to be taken lightly.
2006-09-15 04:39:55 · answer #1 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you feel this way. It means you're giving thought to the things that matter. It's okay to have a some doubt. Perfectly natural.
Make sure that you've dated long enough to really get to know his emotional ups and downs. Men are typically on their best behavior in the first year or so of a relationship. Also make sure that your finances are straight.
Contemplate the meaning of the rest of your life, and study wedding vows and what they really mean. Do you really see yourself with him as an old couple throwing bread crumbs to the birds in the park? How alike are you two? The more similiar you are, the better your chances are of lasting.
As long as you love eachother the right way, everything else should fall into place.
2006-09-15 11:48:09 · answer #2 · answered by Rivrav 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are responsible for your own actoins, yourself and your own future weather you are married or not. Your future would not be put into his hands, it may seem that way to you but really it would be a future that you share together that is equally agreed on, you will also still have individual future changes as well even if you are married....
Marriage is what you make it.
Marriage is scarry! Everyone wants it to last forever and the divorce rate is so high none of us want to be in that rate but some of us end up there anyway and that is where the fear comes from, we fear the unknown and society has put a fear in us about marriage, there is no way to say how it will end up, no way to predict it therefore we are hesitant and afraid.
I was very scared when I got married b/c I never wanted to get married to anyone ever in my life then I met my husband and we had the church set and the invintation sent out and I was so scared and my husband was so scared we ended up getting married at our house on Mondy b/c we didn't know if we could infront of everyone on Sat. so we also got married on Sat. anyway as well. It was just a way to secure our feelings.
It is leaving your singleness, you are not changing in anyway, although changes do come later, changes come anyway weather or not you're married but it is leaving one life as we know it and entering another we do not!
2006-09-15 12:17:16 · answer #3 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not before the wedding. Everything was great, before, and for a few years after. Now after 25 years I wish I had given it more thought. Your future is in YOUR hands. Think about it. Things aren't always as great as they seem. Time, one child, many re-locations and for me breast cancer, have taken it's tole.
On the other hand you could be the happiest couple in the world. There are still people that are deeply in love after 50 years of marriage. Time will tell. Whatever you do, be happy. Good luck
2006-09-15 11:51:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, most people do. Don't think about so much the bad things, but think about the hard work and effort you'll have to committ to just to be a wife. Make sure that when you except his ring that you are totally willing to commit the next years of your life solely to him and that you've been together long enough to know what he's all about and that he won't divorce you after so long in the chum bucket. Also, get a good job that way if you decide to have kids in the future, you won't be broke, with the expenses of house payment, taxes, cars, gas, food, clothes and other needed items.
2006-09-15 11:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by Erin the ROCKSTAR! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you are happy in your relationship as is does not mean that you HAVE to get married. If he hasn't asked yet, put it out of your mind until the situation presents itself. If you still feel the same way at that time then discuss it with your boyfriend. Don't make it an issue until it is one.
2006-09-15 11:40:33 · answer #6 · answered by qtpie2526 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you putting your future in someone else's hands. Your life is your own. Married or not. No one is to control another human being. I personally don't think that you are mature enough to get married. If you feel this way, than don't say I DO. You might make him miserable.
2006-09-15 11:50:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes, I think we all do that, even the people who don't admit to it. It's just that you giving up control, but, actually, if he's the one, he's not taking anything but a peice of your heart, and I bet he gives alot more than that back, Right? So, go for it girl, it sounds like your in for a long life with a wonderful guy. Good Luck.
2006-09-15 11:43:16 · answer #8 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know you want to spend your life with him, so don't fret. It's perfectly natural to get cold feet. I was shaking so bad and practically catatonic on my wedding day. Its very scary to risk your entire future for someone else, but the risk is definitely worth it.
2006-09-15 11:41:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is natural 4 ppl 2 felt nervous n scare when they r getting married...this is once in a life time...every 1 hope 4 the best
2006-09-15 11:40:55 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt that way before my husband proposed to me...I actually dreaded the day he would cuz I would be forced to make a decision (I would have to relocate my whole life for him)....well, obviously he asked and after thinking about it for a day I accepted and now we're married and I'm happy!
2006-09-15 12:26:17 · answer #11 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋