I fell for a guy who gave me the impression he liked me, and i liked him too, then i met his boyfriend.. i found out he was a closet gay, he could have told me, we spent lots of time together, but he didn't why is that so? I want the point of view of the people in this category.
2006-09-15 04:31:05 · 13 answers · asked by OnionSkin 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Did he deliberately give you the impression he liked you? - or did you interpret his friendliness as romance?
2006-09-15 04:35:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
This happened to a friend of mine in high school and I kept trying to tell her, but she refused to listen. When you don't really watch for the signs how can you know? Maybe if you were really good "friends" you wouldn't have missed them and watch for comments you make about certain opinions because that could have deterred him from telling you if you made a bad comment on homosexuals. Being a friend isn't having a crush and I think this is mainly why you do feel betrayed, just an observation, though. Now that you do know you should learn how to forgive and move onto a closer friendship with him. Just because it's hard to come out to people doesn't mean we want to lose friends, we want to draw them closer, but eventually lose our straight friends when they find out. You have to be open-minded about these things and learn more to define yourself as a better person. I hope you can forgive and become greater friends. Good luck and God bless.
2006-09-15 12:14:48 · answer #2 · answered by 4me2no&u2findout 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you were not betrayed you drama queen.
He was not confortable to tell you.
Its not the easiest thing you know, especially when you are not sure about how the other person might react.
Apparently he was really friendly to you, and you interpret that as flirting. It happens a lot. One of my best friends tried to kiss me and I told her I was gay. She didnt think I betrayed her though, we became even better friends, and she told me that by being that close to her and hugging and doing things for fun, like touching her a.s.s made her get the wrong idea. Dont be a bigot, it must have been huge to him, since he is in the closet.
2006-09-15 11:44:21 · answer #3 · answered by Nostromo 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hey, that's unfortunate. Sounds like he's a bit self-centered, wanted your friendship but was maybe afraid to tell you about himself so waited until he could trust you well enough without considering how it was for you. Sorry this happened. Anyone who leads another on is being inconsiderate. If you value his friendship, then talk to him and explain how much you feel burned. He might really be clueless about what he did. Then again, if he did realize what was happening, he's just a regular jerk and that he's gay has little to do with it.
PS - I was just looking at your other questions, and gotta say that you do sound like this more about you not being the center of the universe than about anything your friend did. Did you tell him how you felt or did you just make a bunch of assumptions and then were disappointed when he let you in on more about himself? Only you know that answer. Give it a good hard ponder.
2006-09-15 11:38:26 · answer #4 · answered by Alex62 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Nostromo is SO RIGHT!
You have posted way too many leading and loaded questions for it all to be because you felt "betrayed."
Just admit you were obsessed and can't deal with the fact that this guy didn't actually have "feelings" for you the way you wanted him to. You were infatuated and feel hurt because your feelings were NOT returned.
He was FRIENDLY not infatuated. You're the one who misunderstood his being a friend for something more than it really was. Not him.
Don't lay your guilt on him because you were too immature to see it.
Maybe you've learned your lesson. You can't "cure" gays just because you're a lonely faghag.
2006-09-15 12:13:29 · answer #5 · answered by DEATH 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Deal, or no deal. Life can hurt sometimes. Or, maybe you are one of these: Some women purposely attract gay males (sometimes unconscioiusly) because they know they are safe, just llike some people go afer married folks for the same reason.
2006-09-15 18:43:12 · answer #6 · answered by Jack P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gays tell you they are gay when they reach a HIGH comfort level. That takes time and he shows signs of friendly affection, which at time is seen as flirt/interest by girls. Don't hold it against him, just remember that he trusted you enough to say something like that and it's HUGE (for him anyway).
Just be his friend and confidant, nothing wrong with that.
2006-09-15 11:37:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's likely he had no idea you were developing feelings for you. Being gay, he certainly wasn't looking for any signs of attraction from you, so he likely was totally oblivious. Once he knew you well enough to trust you enough to come out to you, he did.
2006-09-15 11:37:27 · answer #8 · answered by Steven S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's more comfortable around girls to visit with. He saw your attraction and found a way to let you know he was not sexually attracted to you. How were you betrayed? Did he ask you out or make out with you?
2006-09-15 11:36:58 · answer #9 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well he might be bisexual,meaning he likes boys and girls,and wasnt ready to tell you this,or wanted to make sure that it was going to work with you and him.It is possible that he never intended to tell you at all,that would have been wrong.If he would have been upfront with you and confessed his sexuality what would you have done?if he told you and nobody else knew and you told on him it could have been very bad for him
2006-09-15 22:14:27 · answer #10 · answered by cindyxdresser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋