This is my problem; my husband haven't sleep with nonone but he do like to talk to female over the phone fron cht lines or in the computer . I think this very disrespectful since I have some female calling his phone while I'm with him , I even talk to them.. I know he haven't sheat on me but this can be just a biggining. I spoke to him ans he say this conversation don't mean anything but I can't belive him since it happens so many time. He constaly say that he love me and I love him too but when this things happens it make me hate him with pasion.
2006-09-15 04:17:35 · 10 answers · asked by Iris N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He doesn't have enough respect for you that he engages in this kind of behaviour while you are around?!? And then has the balls to make it sound like it's no big deal, turning the tables on you to make you look like the one being rediculous?? If he hasn't done so already, he is about to jump over the fence. Your feelings of hate towards him, and his inability to stop what he is doing should give you your answer - which I think you already know - you don't have a marriage with this moron. How much more are you going to take?
2006-09-15 04:48:04 · answer #1 · answered by oscarschic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should not give your energy to these thoughts of him cheating on you b/c he is not no matter how you look at it and I don't care what others say! If he hasbn't and you know it he hasn't they are phone calls! I can see why you would be hurt and why you feel as though it is disrespectful toward you... But it doe not mean it's the beggining to anything! Do not give in to your fears and insecurities (they may end up becoming reality).
he is at least honest and he isn't hidding it from you so give him a little credit!
Again I must say that marriage is for the mature and honest, very well communicative. There is no room for jealousy and a husband and wife should talk about all issues feelings, attractions and sex.
Try to think of your husband and you having a realtionship that is unconditional and truely work on having an uncondition one, if it is uncondtional and there are no limits then why would divorce or hurt be an issue?
You can tell him it bothers you but I'm sure you already have and it hasn't done any good you as well are participating in it sometimes so how can he take you seriously? Maybe you need him to not do it as much or when you are in the mood...
Talk too him often about your insecurity issues and your thoughts that is could led to him messin' around but I have a feeling you already have. The one good thing is that you getting your feelings off your ceast and not harboring them... This will only end up end a big blow out...
try just try discussing swinging with him - I know it sounds crazy and you might not want to but it could have bennefits on your marriage and relationship, convience him that if he ever needs strange or any extra you will support that as long as you are aware of this and he isn't doing it behind your back. His feelings of this if he has any does not mean he no longer loves you but that you and he have reached higher means of trust and communication, he can open himslef and you can open yourself to a different side of eachother you's haven't seen and learn things about one another you didn't think were possible. Do this not so that you can use it against him later but so that you have a trust and communication between you both and that if the subject arises you both have alturnitives that doesn't mean divorce or cheating... It wouldn't mean if there was an experience like this between you that he or you would be unfaithful, sex is sex and sharing it with one another is openness and uncondtional love and friendship, affaris and cheating are unfaithful acts. Some may say that swinging is unfaithful in a sence but not in my eyes, I would rather be honest and know then be a lie and a cheat or have my husband doing things like cheating on me that I wasn't aware of.
His conversations on the phone are really innocent, maybe costly but like you said he hasn't cheated and you can head it off by knowing how he feels by being honest with one another it is your choice do you want to know before it happens or take the chance of him doing it behind your back and never finding out? I say this to try to take your marriage to a different level not so that it can be held againt another or cause more problems... Be ready for the truth either way no matter what his feelings maybe be you might be surprized but don't allow anything that is said to hurt so prepair yourself and enter a controlled emotional sate before bringing it up... This is what I would do good luck!
2006-09-15 04:50:46 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Love is also compromise and trust. He knows you find this behavior unsettling. Yet does it anyway. What if the shoe was on the other foot. You were speaking to men on-line and on the phone. How would he feel about this.
He makes you feel insecure, even though he keeps reassuring you he loves you. His actions do not convey that.
The Internet opened up a whole other world for both men and women. They meet and have conversations, given normal circumstances they would not. Their are some that can have on-line friends. But I have heard too many stories of relationships ending because their partners met someone on-line.
It would be comparable to him going out to clubs, meeting and talking to strange women. Good luck. Your concerns are valid.
2006-09-15 04:30:32 · answer #3 · answered by Balou 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are married you shouldn't be talking to other women on the computer or an the phone (unless they are some mutual friend or something). I would be very hurt too. This would be unacceptable behavior if it was happening in my marriage. Why is he talking to these women? Doesn't he know how wrong it is? Ask him if he'd like it if you were doing the same. If he doesn't stop this it can lead to cheating, if it hasn't already.
2006-09-15 04:27:35 · answer #4 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you can't trust him. An emotional affair can at times be more damaging than a physical one. If you haven't already, ask him to stop and try and explain how it makes you feel. If he wont stop then....... you really have no choice, you will have to think about ending the marriage or you will spend the rest of your life being walked over, i am sure you don't deserve that.
2006-09-15 13:40:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey,
He's already cheating on you.
Maybe I'm unusual, but I think the emotional commitment is the most important part of a relationship. That he is physically faithful is good, but he is emotionally betraying you, and that, in my opinion, is more serious than if he was having sex outside your marriage.
And it is a small step from him talking about it to doing it.
You have a serious problem already, and I suggest you treat it as unfaithfulness.
2006-09-15 04:23:53 · answer #6 · answered by Dan C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babes, when he likes to talk to other females other than you, doesnt it ring a bell to you that he has gone "offline" with you?? It is you that he ought to be enjoying talking to. It is you he ought spending time with. It is you he ought to connect with!
I have been in the same situation as you. At one stage,my trust for him was like the "Leaning Tower of Pizza"- with hope it would still stand. Now, my trust for him is just like " The Twin Towers" after the 911 attack. Broken, shattered and left to dust.
2006-09-15 04:42:22 · answer #7 · answered by DiL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is such a thing as emotional infidelity. If you express to him that his behavior is troubling you, and he continues it, then he is disrespecting your relationship. You are not being unreasonable by asking him not to do this, unless youre getting all stupid and screamy. Set aside the "hating with passion," it won't help if you want your relationship to continue.
2006-09-15 04:24:27 · answer #8 · answered by David B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU ARE FEELING ABOUT THIS MATTER! IF HE THINKS THAT IT IS OK WITH YOU THAT HE DISRESPECT YOU BY LETTING WOMEN CHAT WITH HIM ON THE PHONE & COMPUTER, THEN HE WILL BEGIN TO THINK THAT IT IS OK WITH YOU THAT HE STARTS TO SEE THESE WOMAN ALSO! HE IS ALREADY CHEATING AND PUSHING HIS LUCK WITH YOU WHILE HE IS CHATTING ON THE PHONE & COMPUTER WITH THESE WOMEN IF YOU ALLOW IT TO GO ON HE WILL BEGIN CHEATING ON YOU IN EVERY WAY, PHYSICALLY, & EMOTIONALLY!
YOU SHOULD STAND YOUR GROUND! HE CERTANTALLY WOULDN'T LIKE IT IF YOU WERE DOING THAT TO HIM!!!!
WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM THAT?
GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-15 05:49:23 · answer #9 · answered by bigred 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well to me it sounds like, theres more going on than he is telling you. specialy if women are calling your house. how would he like it if men started calling you.
2006-09-15 04:24:08 · answer #10 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋