Which should I follow? My Heart or My brain?

Question

(i live in canada now) my heart says that I should never forget her and to still love her and there is still hope that we will be together again. but my brain tells me that to forget her because maybe she is now happy in her life so just move on.

guys this is serious. pls don't put any stupid answer.

thanks guys.

Answer 1

You have to ask yourself a few questions:

1. How was your relationship (in reality, not how you wanted it)?
2. How was the breakup?
3. When was it?
4. Have you heard from her?

If it wasn't too bad, then I would email her and say what's up.

Answer 2

your brain is higher than your heart, brain comes first, that's why it was placed on top of everything, but everything is connected tru the brain, so if your heart is hurt so is your brain. it affects everything the way the whole body feels. But most of us gets confused of the reaction of the brain and the heart when it comes to love, is not the brain that tells you the way you think or the other way around, it is your innerself thinking.
whty don't you find out yourself if she's happy now, you are on a though situatuion, I've been there,
I live in new york, and I really love this guy back home ( philippines) is like out of nowhere I remember him all the time, even when I sleep at night I see him, our past, the times were together,I've waited for so long till I finally decided, I have to find him, So I did, I got contact with him, found out he's living with someone and has a son but doesnt love the girl, But the thing is that, he feels the same way too for me.
Just an advise, its not important whether she's happy or what, what matters most is that tell them how you feel, let it out ot it will haunt you forever, as soon as you tell her, it will be a big relief, whatever happens,maybe u pick up where you both left of or move on! WHAT REALLY IS IMPORTANT IS TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL,

Answer 3

It depends on how long you've been having the relationship with her. My girlfriend is in Jakarta right now, she is a Filipina, we've been apart for around six months already, and we just celebrated our 2nd year last Aug. 28.

What I would like to point out here is, the immediate factor that could cement a lasting relationship between two people is COMMUNICATION. By engaging in this, you share with each other your thoughts, your fears for being away with each other, your apprehensions for being not there when you need someone to talk to because of the distance. And your plans in ensuring that you will stick together despite your current dispositions.

But you see, both your geographical locations should not even hinder your relationship if both of you will exert efforts in strengthening what you have.

You do not leave everything to fate or chance, because the moment your relationship fails, it was not because fate dictated it, or it was bound to happen. WRONG. It was because, you did nothing to make sure that your relationship will endure even the farthest distance between you two.

You said that your heart says you should never forget her, and that you will still love her, and to you there is still hope for you guys to be together again.

When you say "I SHOULD NEVER FORGET HER", is it safe to assume that your emotional status towards her right now is more of an obligation, rather than a selfless act of providing happiness to your partner? If this is the case, then that is where your brain should kick in and dictate to your heart that loving someone should not be dealt with in an obligatory sense, but perhaps, a commitment to maintain a lasting relationship with another person.

Second, you mentioned that "MAYBE she is now happy in her life." How did you know she is happy when, looking at it from the other side, it is also a possibility that she's missing you?

You see, making assumptions at this time will not give you a solid answer whether to pursue the relationship with her or not. It all boils down to one thing - TALK TO HER. Ask her of her thoughts about your current disposition.

This way, you will not have a hard time trying to figure out whether to spend emotional investment with her, or just MOVE ON and keep on thinking of the things you should have done in order to save what you have.

I know you'll react it's easier said than done, but what's easy with your situation right now is TRY DOING IT FIRST then see what happens next. It's better than saying to yourself "I THINK SHE IS, OR MAYBE SHE IS" with clear uncertainty.

Use your heart to decide on your emotional bearing, and use your mind to justify your actions in acting out your emotional status.

Answer 4

First, use ur brain... How will u know if she's already taken if u won't ask her? Use ur brain. Call her and be candid to her. Tell her that u have feelings for her and explain how u feel about being away from her. Then, ask her if u stand a chance. If she says YES, then use ur heart.

Tell her that u r goin to find a way to be with her and that for now, u and she will be communicating endlessly even though it's long distance.

If she says NO, u don't have a chance. Use more of ur brain, MOVE ON and forget about her. Be practical. Don't waste ur time and effort on somebody who doesn't care about you emotionally and physically. U have to look after urself first in order for u to look after someone u will love in the future.

Answer 5

Follow your heart to the extent that reason, futillity, principles, practicality or other factors prevent you from doing otherwise.

In this case I would suggest making at least a last effort to see if your situation will work if you're really inclined. If your reason tells you it's not even worth the last effort, then just forget it and move on right away.

Emotional involvements can have a strong pull and you might need to pull yourself in the other direction. I suspect that this could be the case.

Answer 6

This is where mindfulness comes into play. Follow your "wise mind". It's a combination of the "reasonable mind" or your brain. Like facts. Facts just are. Then you have your feelings or your heart. Feelings just are. It helps to list all the facts of the situation and the feelings that go with it. Then lay out the options. All of them, way out the pros cons of each and try to come to a conclusion that way. It takes some practice, but it's good to apply this technique in tough situations,

Answer 7

You have to balance with BOTH. One should follow their heart, but use your brain for a little common sense to lead you along your path. Ask yourself sensible questions. By 'moved on'...is she with someone else now (and happy)? If she is..then there is your answer...there's no hope for anything happening right now. Does not mean you have to forget her, means tuck those memories away and file them under (mostly) happy memories. Then follow your heart to a new adventure and a new love.
Good luck hon.

Answer 8

Depends on your situation, I know that one's really hard. It also depends on how old you are, if your in your teenage years I doubt that its love, its just your raging hormones but then again it might be.

The heart leads us to make stupid decisions. I'd rather that you follow your brain, think really hard if this girl is really worth it. You might want to follow Oprah's 3 questions to answer all life's questions: :(You might want to read O magazines September Issue)
What would happen after:
1. 10 minutes
2. 10 months
3. 10 years

Or if you're in the right age and she feels the same way for you, then why not pursue her. Just think about if its worth it or not.

Answer 9

Your brain that's why it is above the heart so you can control it. I have the same experience with you too. sigh. ok. i think you should follow your heart.I f you want to take a chance and try to make things right, you better have a reason to be loved. We all want something more. And it is worth fighting for... You know what i'm still inlove with my first gf 3 years ago.

Answer 10

Don't do this to your self. The best to do is live your life and be comfortable and as you said maybe you'll be together, but until then you don't want her to find you in a wreck . Just live and let her live too, what ever going to happen will happen, and you don't have to forget here either. Good luck