School friendships - do you find when you lose contact that when you evetually reunited it is hard to find....

Question

School friendships - do you find when you lose contact that when you evetually reunited it is hard to find something to talk about?

Recently, I have been in contact with friends that I went to school with. It's funny because there had been times that I have seen people in the street and pretended that I haven't seen them...I'm sure they do the same! But why is this? Is it a British thing to avoid people we were once very close with? And why is it hard to talk naturally? Or is it just me?

Answer 1

people grow apart, move away and have different lives, its just part of life. Some friendships last forever, while others are just fun to have at school or work

Answer 2

I would just talk about stuff that is going on in your life now (without sounding like you're showing off). I think a lot of people avoid past school-mates. It could be that you had a bad time at school with bad memories and they threaten to bring them back. Maybe you're embarrassed or think that they might be more successful than you. There are lots of reasons. If they were GOOD friends, then it shouldn't be so difficult to get back to the friendship. If it's hard, then it might not be worth the trouble.

Answer 3

I agree and do the exact same thing, and if I meet up with an old school friend now, I havent got a clue as what to say. We have gone completly diferent routes in our lives, shes opted for the studying university never go out good girl I went the complete oposite and partied, still do... just something that happens i guess, sad but true x

Answer 4

I'm lucky, still ahve loads of friends that I knew at school as well as my wider circle. I suppose the ones I'm no longer in contact with there's a reason for that, just not close enough. I do the awkward pretending not to see people in the street thing its just easier after all if you make a big effort they might not remember you!

Answer 5

It's not just you. People naturally drift apart and then when they meet up they realise they have nothing in common anymore. It's normal to not put yourself through this and pretend you haven't seen the other person, especially because it hurts a bit being confronted with a friend you have lost. The best thing to talk about is memories and friends you have in common and just keep smiling.

Answer 6

When people are away from each other for quite a while, a kind of formal attitude builds up between them, they find it hard to communicate freely with each other, n don worry this happens all over the world, it's called the "Royal Ignore".

Answer 7

no its not you i firmly believe than when you meet up with old friends and I have met guys i knew in the service during the war years some years after! you have moved on the different stages in life some up some down but whatever! it is extremely difficult to rekindle what you had when you were a lot younger and of course your practically strangers which is sad but true

Answer 8

It's hard because the experience that brought you together is finished (high school, university, Erasmus)...
And even if you meet you can only talk about those golden years because you don't know anything else of their present life

Answer 9

people in america do it to, well at least at my school in oklahoma. Me and another person were friends all semester and when the semester changed we didnt even say hi to each other in the hall ways. i actually did that this morning to a girl who is new to the high school that i knew in 9th grade. i fell bad when i do it.

Answer 10

People change over time. When you meet them again, you have to "learn" them again - and accept them as they are NOW.
Avoidance is fake and childish... you can at least say "hello" even if you don't want to stand there talking for hours.
Just take it easy..... and don't expect anything spectacular from such meetups. Enjoy them.