How do we get teachers to understand going to the bathroom is a necessity not a privilege?

Question

In school last year, my daughter was charged reward points to go to the bathroom. I let the school know that policy was unacceptable and it stopped. Now six days into the new school year the same issue arises. This issue has been ongoing for to long, I have adult children who I went through the same thing with. When and how can we get our educators (not all of them) but those who haven't been enlightened to the fact that going to the bathroom is a necessity as much as eating is? Teachers understand that children all learn differently. Why can't they accept that children's bodys also function as differently as their brains?
I expect my child to be respectful of her teachers at all times, but telling my child or any child that going to the bathroom is a privilege is nothing short of abuse of power. It angers me that an educator would put a parent in this position. We are trying to teach our child to respect them and they behave in a way undeserving of respect.

. My child is an elementary student. When she asked to use the bathroom she was told to wait. I wrote the teacher a note saying she left school with a full bladder because she was not allowed to use the bathroom. My daughter was in a panic that we would not make it to her music lesson before she had an accident. Her response to my daughter, after reading the note, was going to the bathroom is a privilege. After my daughter was told to wait to go to the bathroom she also had to walk four laps around the track and do her crossing guard duties. This child has never been in trouble for wasting time. Now is this not abuse of power?

Answer 1

Uggghhh, I always hated that.... the teachers were so bad about making everyone wait.

When I was in middle shcool.... just getting the hang of this whole "having a period" thing.... a teacher made me wait so long I made a huge bloody mess all over my seat and myself... it was horrifying!

The teacher obviously knew I wasn't just trying to get out of class for the heck of it after that, but it shouldn't have come to that point.

You'd think they'd be a bit more understanding.

If they made less of a deal about it, kids probably would be more likely to use the bathroom only when it was neccessary.

Answer 2

I understand your concerns, and certainly an elementary child and an older child have different needs. As a teacher, I can go to the restroom at 9 am, 11:00 am and 4 PM--the rest of the time I am responsible for the children, so I certainly sympathize.

The problem with the older children is that they use the restroom as a break room--and a breakage room. The toilets get plugged, older children smoke, pass drugs,setting fires, have sexual encounters...yes, they do. We have to keep track of who left our class for what reason (sign out sheet), so that should vandalism or crimes occur in the restroom, we have a good list of 'suspects.' (These things have all happened at schools where I have taught, but seldom in the same year. They are rare, but serious.) I know your daughter is not one of 'those' students, but, while treating everyone just the same is not fair, younger students do not understand this distinction, and if your well-behaved polite daughter is allowed to use the restroom everytime she needs it, the kids who have other plans will chime in as well. If the teacher resists, she will be seen as a teachers pet and bullied. I've seen that happen, also. Sad but true.

Most schools have policies. Our middle school students have a passing period every 46 minutes, and, if they don't need to go to their locker, or waste their time chatting with friends, they can use the restroom. Restroom use is open and free during their lunch period. Those taking gym can use the restroom in the gym before and after class. Most elementary experienced elementary teachers stop at the restroom on every trip out of the room (lunch, recess, library, specials...) and insist that every child go in and try! If your child can sleep through the night, she can probably wait one hour without the restroom.

That said, if she cannot, get a note from your doctor that she needs free restroom priviledges. If that note is not respected, that is a much more serious problem that you can certainly bring up with everyone in the chain of command. (up to and including bringing in a lawyer and suing--but that should be the very last thing you consider doing.)

I hope you see my point of view as a teacher. My policy? Sign out, you can go, once a week is my limit for emergencies (unless your sick, in which case you go see the nurse), and if you ask daily I will call your folks and suggest they take you to a doctor about your frequent urination!

Answer 3

I totally agree with you there. It happened to my child too and I told my child, no matter what happens, if he really need to go and he can not wait, he must go. I wrote to the teachers and told them exactly what I told him. However, I also made it clear to him that he better not use that as an excuse to get out of class. There are so many issues now with the teachers in the schools. You would think that is one of the place you can leave your child and not have to be concerned. The first day of school this year, my son got to class and they told him that the shirt he was wearing was the wrong shirt, just because the material was different. It looks just like the other shirts, but the material is different if you actually feel it. I thought they were there for an education, not their clothing (I mean because of the material? Come on). Well, one of the teachers said to him, what happened to your uniform from last year, are you too fat to fit in them? She and another teacher started laughing about it. I was going to the school the following morning, but my son begged me to let it go because he was scared they would treat him badly when I am not there and he would be too nervous to concentrate. I told him I will let it go this time, but the next time anything like that happens, I can not let it go and he better tell me if it happens. It is just terrible the way they handle these kids. Even though they are kids, they deserve respect too.

Answer 4

Simply put, students need to learn to use their restroom breaks responsibly. I teach high school and I only get a restroom break during the four minute passing period between classes. Except for emergencies caused by illness I have no excuse for needing out of class to use the restroom and I place the same expectation on my students. If they know they will not get out of class they will not ask and they will remember to use the restroom when the opportunity is present rather than just the need.

Class time is limited and students (high school students at least) need to learn to plan ahead. It's not unlike using the restroom before a long drive in order to reduce the need for frequent stops.

It may be different at the elementary level in that while restroom breaks were (as I recall from long ago) scheduled regularly but not at evenly spaced intervals (as in once an hour where I work). Also you should, no doubt, place different expectations on older students.

Answer 5

"Hey teacher! Leave us kids alone!" Looks like you may want to bring up the issue with the board of education in your town. Perhaps if you state your case to them the way you did here you could get them to invoke a policy within the entire school district. You're right, going to the bathroom should be a right. The teacher on the other hand could also have kids that want to use the bathroom constantly and cause disruption to the class. If they really have to go that's one thing> If they are doing it just for the sake of leaving class that's another.

Answer 6

As a parent, I understand your concern, but as a teacher, I understand why this policy has changed over the years. Some kids ask to go to the bathroom everyday, but do not have a medical condition. Some just don't like to do work/ Also, drugs are passed in the restroom, gang violence occurs in the restroom, etc. Many illegal activities take place there and since cameras can't be installed in restrooms, limitations have to be made somehow. Your kids may be model citizens, but not every student is one.

Answer 7

How old is the child? Are there medical issues involved? Are there other rules surrounding the bathroom break, such as...not leaving when the teacher is teaching, or did they just come in from recess? How difficult is it to earn points, and if the child is willing to lose points, chances are, that child really does need to use the rest room and is not trying to put off an unpleasant task such as math problem. If you are own a long trip, and the next town is only 3 miles down the road, are you going to pull over to the side of the road so your child can go? And then, back on the road again, and child 2 has to go now...just a mile further. Will you pull over again? Chances are, no. You will do neither, either because, you are almost there, or you just stopped. Teaching responsibility to go when the opportunity is there is also part of a child's growth. A teacher can not teach your child, if the child is not in the room.

Answer 8

The reality is that going to the bathroom disrupts the class and learning for all of the students because the teacher can't continue until the child has returned and further more this is one of those privledges that often is abused by the kids. Learning to manage time is a a lesson they are learning here because most of the time they have ample time between classes to go to the bathroom, if they wouldn't spend it talking to their friends. This also empowers the disruptive kids because they see a new way to disrupt the class and makie learning next to impossible.

Answer 9

Unfortunately, teachers tend to think they know best about everything (even if they don't). The only way I have been able to get a school to change a horrible policy that had a negative impact on the kids is to threaten to sue them. That's when they scramble to do something about it.

Answer 10

if restroom breaks are provided consistently throughout the day (every couple of hours) the students should not need to go inbetwwen scheduled breaks unless there is a medical reason, in which, case the parent should supply a written note from the doctor