What should I do to make him commit?

6 ⤊

What should I do to make him commit?

I am 27 and my bfr. is 46, he also has three children from his previous marriage.
I lived with him for over a year, and this cohabiting situation is bothering me.
I don't want to marry him, I don't think he is right for me. However, the fact that he is not offering to commit is bothering me.
I would never push him into that, cuz it wouldn't worth nothing. He has to come to it by himself.
Anyway I just want to know his reasons but I can't ask him directly.
Any suggestions on my situation???

2006-09-15 03:03:54 · 9 answers · asked by Mistyfog 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce

I've am divorced, have 6 yr.old, and my bfr. takes good care of me and my child.
I am attending school right now, and don't want to break up yet.
I find the comment about father figure interesting, cuz my dad was basicly ignoring me, though my mother was overprotective. And that's true that I am more drown to responsible, level-headed older man , the total opposite of my ex husband.

2006-09-15 03:25:35 · update #1

2006-09-15 03:28:36 · update #2

9 answers

You are a typical dumb *** girl...You don't want to marry him...you don't think he is right for you yet your pissed that he doesn't want to commit...Its just because you want something you can't have...You hate him..yet if he shows you at all that he isnt interested you freak out. First thing you need to do is pull your head out of your a s s and get over yourself. You are nothing special if your 27 and your dating a 46 year old...why don't you find someone your own age instead of looking for a father figure..more then likely you yourself didn't have a good father or you had a father who abandoned you so now your clinging to this guy because your dad left.

2006-09-15 03:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋

You're confusing, you're main question is asking "what to do to make him commit" but then you say you don't want a committment, which is it?
Why are you with a 46 yr old which you have no intentions of making a committment to, you are 27! Do you know how many other men are out there that are young successful and have no kids, or at least not as many kids. You are really not being fair to yourself. I know age should not matter, but with your attitude about not being with him as a married couple makes me think you are totally wasting good years of your life.

2006-09-15 10:10:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋

Sweety, if he's not the right one for you...Now why are you bothering with your relationship with him?...

First of all, he's been married before and also has kids...Including his age, you have yourself a PRO...

Ok now if you truly love this man...Then there's things you can do...First be patient about it...Be open to each other and let him know how you feel...Ofcourse, you need to ask him directly...You'll want to know where you're life is heading with this man...If both of you don't feel the same way then it's best to leave...I've been with my husband for over 3 years before we finally got married, which was only this summer...It's not easy, especially since there's kids involved...Make sure you take this time to think things thru...The kids, financial, family...Everything ties in together...Once one thing go down...Everything else will fall apart...Do alot of talking with your boyfriend and planning is good...Think about the future and what you both want...Remember this all takes time, so just be patient...

As for your question to why he won't approach you about marriage...It's bc he's already been married in the past...He knows what he's looking for now...He doesn't want to make the same mistake...So, just try to listen to him and see if what he's looking for is actually you...You might be surprised with the kind of accomplishment you'll get by communicating...

Take care sweety.

2006-09-15 10:16:09 · answer #3 · answered by $&$& 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋

You don't think that he is right for you but you want him to commit
maybe he felt the same way about you and that is the reason he don't want to be commited
You don't have anything to ask him
just take one day at the time and enjoy the help that he is giving you & your child

2006-09-15 10:30:41 · answer #4 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋

So it is a big game to you? He must know you do not feel like he is the one for you and isn't going to bother with making an *** of himself over you. Grow up and move out! If he is not for you then go find someone who is, or be on your own until you are ready for a big commitment.

2006-09-15 10:08:12 · answer #5 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋

Lest see= Previously married, 46 years old and 3 kids... Girl he wont commit, and if you are not happy what are you still doing there?

2006-09-15 10:09:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋

If you don't want to marry him and don't think he is right for you, then what are you doing with him? If you're living with him, then he has no need to commit to you. He has his cake and is eating it too. He might also be more reluctant because he's been there, done that. Move on, you're wasting your time.

2006-09-15 10:08:28 · answer #7 · answered by Mommy2Liam 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋

Hi. I don't mean to sound harsh, but you sound REAL immature. You do not wish to have a full commitment with this man, but you are upset he isn't pursuing one from you??? WTF kind of head game is that????

You are too immature for this man. Most men in their 40's are through with little girl Bullshit games, by the way. Find someone your own age that willing to put up with it.

2006-09-15 10:24:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋

You don't want to marry him. Why do you live with him? What do you want him to commit? Nothing is necessary. My suggestion is leave him or consider carefully again, whether you want to marry him, before you want an answer to how to make him commit, what do you want him to commit.

2006-09-15 10:14:54 · answer #9 · answered by Billy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋