I was deserted recently by someone whom I love intensely and.....?

Question

..that is the reason why I posed my question here. I typed it in an utter turmoil and therefore there are lots of 'typos'( for those, who thought it was a dictation.LOL!). My bf ditched me for someone with loads of money...without scantest of regards for what would happen to me later...caring a hoot (or not even that) for my honest and true sentiments. I almost died..almost but by God's grace didn't ( a part of me still wonders if this is His grace at all.I wake up every morning, shuddering, shivering with tears in my eyes..and knowing that it is very difficult for me to erase him from my soul). I am emotionally bruised and seek divine solace. Yet, these thoughts keep bothering me . I thought it was a good idea to share them with u here.I feel grateful to all those who help me and likewise I feel the same for all of u who responded to my troubled spiritual +emotional quest. Thank u very much for ur kind support and patient hearing.God bless !!!

Answer 1

A break up is a bit like a drug addict quitting. For a while it will feel like cold turkey, but each day gets easier, and before you know it you will have moved on with your life and found someone new.

Mabye not what you want to hear tight now but just take one day at a time and be thankful for small mercys.

Cheers.

Answer 2

My heart truly goes out to you. Its been just a little over a year since I had my heart broken by my lover, best friend and father of our adorable son. I am not over him, I have not forgotten the initial shock and hurt, and I am not numb to the pain. However, it is 100% true that time helps with healing!! It will get better, I promise you!
You will hear oh too often that he is not worth it, you are better off without him, that it is good you find out now rather then later, that he's scum and be glad to be rid of him. None of that will help, but do know it is all true. It will not help you right now, but it is the truth.
Its going to be hard (and sometimes feel almost impossible) to listen to music, read a book, or watch a movie. It will be hard to concentrate on anything full stop. But don't shut yourself off from the word for too long. I'm sure you have family and friends who love you and although they cant fill that void you are feeling, they will worry about you, so every now and then, give them an update on "you" and even though you are probably not in the mood, let them spoil you, let them repeat what you have already hear a thousand times - even if just to be polite.
Someone gave you an excellent tip (wish I had though of it myself - although its never too late) try doing the meals on wheels. Do your best to get busy, and help others - helping those less fortunate will makes ya feel good! Guaranteed!!
I really wish you all the best, take care and know you are special and you do deserve better then this
God bless



And do feel free to email me anytime you need to let it all out

Answer 3

The elation you feel in these moments of your highest happiness is not sustainable. People die, things break, plans often don't work out like you suspect, etc. Life is like predicting the weather: you don't know exactly what is going to happen, but you can make a very accurate predictions of certain eventualities, like there will be rain, there will be beautiful days, there will be muggy and searing hot days, etc. If you are an average person, and you probably are, you will also have average luck.

This kind of love is like a high on drugs. Your sense of self-esteem is unnaturally elevated, the world takes on a dream-like feel, etc. This is just not the way life is supposed to work for 99.999% of people, just based on chance. Your sense of self-worth should be entirely based on true confidence inside. Once you know and believe this with 100% certainty, you will see that these external factors that temporarily send to the moon are flimsy creations that will almost certainly collapse.

If you can imagine a state where an external thing is removed from you, and it causes your world to crumble, then you know with certainty that you cannot rely on this external thing for support. Take pleasure in the wonderful things that drift into your life, but realize that they will also drift away. Take joy in having had them, rather than in the misplaced notion that you will somehow always have them.

Answer 4

Conviction in any issue in life is an indicator of a closed mind. There is nothing true or false in this world, it's just the way your mind looks at it. I think you're lucky your guy
1. did'nt continue with you .
2. marry you
3. have 2 or 3 kiddies
and then ditched you.

Heartfelt sympathies on you experience of a broken heart. It feels good to know that there are still people in this world today who have hearts that can break.

Life is an assembly of moments in time.
You r a wonderful person, just believe in your senses, and one day you will develop the sixth one....Regards and best wishes...Ananth.

Answer 5

We've all been there. I remember feeling the same way --more than once. Anyway, believe me, the day will come when you won't be able to remember WHY on Earth you felt this way about him. I look back on my heartbreak now and think, "What was so great about him, anyway?" Someone SO much better will come along. I'm now very happily married to the love of my life and have two beautiful children. I wouldn't even dream of being with the ex-boyfriend for anything in the world. You'll get through this. Time really does heal--I promise.

Answer 6

Sonia, you WILL get over this. I know others have said it but it's worth saying again: time is a great healer. It doesn't mean the pain won't be there anymore, but it will fade and you will learn to do with it.

Just remember that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You survived those first raw days and now you are healing and you are getting stronger. The fact that you can share with us shows this.

The only piece of advice I'd like to give you is to try and focus outwards a bit more. There are others all around who are hurting more than you with a myriad of problems, like Moms with children who've been abused or deserted and left with virtually nothing, and older people who are all alone and desperately lonely and often struggling with the effects of the passing years, so that they can't cope with things as simple as getting out to do their shopping.

Sonia, I don't mean just think about them, but see if you can do something practical, maybe by contacting one of the local organizations that provides help to people -- Meals on Wheels, for example. If you can spare just a couple of hours a week it will help them enormously and your own pain will fade a little faster. It's not so much about a feel-good type of thing, it's about giving your mind something else to focus on that's outside of the hurt you have.

Gee, I hope this helps you...It's hard, I know...

Peace,

Lenky

Answer 7

In times of high stress, high emotional levels, near death or starvation and other extremely depressive or emotional states, the so-called 'god-gene' kicks into gear. It rises from the more limbic system of our brains, the primitive area that has evolved to help us homosapiens survive in a cruel world. You've heard the phrase, "there's no atheists in fox holes."? Well, that refers to the same concept.

Your bf ditching you is a serious emotional state...to pull you thru, u needed that spiritual support. But alas, taking off the rose-colored glasses leaves a grim world of Objective Reality. Some people should keep those glasses on and forget about looking for that old man behind the curtain.

Answer 8

Here's a poem I wrote it's not great but hope it helps:
Why must you chain me with these lies,
and never know such shame
I can't recall the time or day but must ask myself if all is well or am I just insane
I wasted my life and feelings on you
you took my heart and trampled it
You said you'd love no other
but found your words to someone else just the same
So I ask myself do I love or let you go
well may this be a testiment
as to the words you know
Be Gone my ever Loser
May you Rot in Piece
May your heart be torn to tiny bits
by the traveling of a beast
May a hurricane be vicious and true
to finally know the pain you've caused
and forever may it be with you
A breaking heart is no easy mend
but take joy in this
the mighty beast just finished you in the END!!!

Answer 9

We always attract the images of who we think we are, so let me ask you did you ever think that you were not good enough for him?

And now that you have released most of your pain and trauma I believe you can use this episode not as a stumbling block but as a leaping board into finding your life partner he was only there to teach you something about you, that's all, he wasn't the one.

So take a deep breath and ask the most important question: What is it in you that attracted such a man to you? Ask yourself that, what is the learning from it, as I am the magnet here, what does it say about the self image I have about myself, basically it is a self esteem issue that you need to work out.

You deserve a loving, healthy and respectful and secure relationship and God be willing you can work your way to it.



Try reading Harvell Hendrix, GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT, as it talks extensively about the cosmic pieces we attract from the entire universe as our co-travellers, so that you can then learn to heal your past wounds and attract better, more deserving men.

Answer 10

I am a firm believer in soulmates. This man wasn't the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. Somewhere, out there, there is a person, probably going through the same thing as you are at the moment, who is the person you are destined to be with. The sooner you feel better about yourself, and forget the fact that he left you, and remember that if he was that shallow, you had a lucky break, you will be out somewhere, and Your Soulmate will see you. The sooner you feel better about yourself, which i hope is soon, 'coz you sound like a good person, the sooner you will find your soulmate. I wish u goodluck, and that, no matter what happens, you will be happy=)