and we selling the house and he earns ton more than me and can easily get another mortage,where as I wouldn`t be able to,(work full time but crap wages) and have the kids living with me
(a) sell the house,split the equity difference and I hope for the best that the money doesn`t run out to soon and watch him build a new life with the fling
(b)insist he moves out and I stay living here whilst he pays the mortage until the youngest is 16
(c) instead of splitting the equity in half insist on all of it or at least 3/4
bearing in mind that after all debts and loans are paid of there isn`t going to be alot equity but a fair amount.
Hard to keep things amicable for the kids when one is still very very p***ed off eh!
2006-09-15 02:31:32 · 39 answers · asked by karenna m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How about talking to a marriage counselor before rushing to get a divorce? A divorce is messy for all in involved and there may be a way to save your marriage. Did he make a mistake or does he want to keep the other woman? Unless that is the case, an affair doesn't have to mean automatic divorce.
If you decide to take a divorce, then just get an attorney and start the process. You will go to mediation and your lawyer will help you try to negotiate with him. A lot of what you are entitled to or not depends on the laws where you live.
Just remember his lack of faithfulness as a husband has nothing to do with his love for his children. I feel bad for you, your husband, and your children. Everyone's lives will be damaged.
2006-09-15 02:39:00 · answer #1 · answered by Roger S 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
a) You already know the money will run out if you don't manage it wisely. Get your head on straight. You must think clearly. Don't ever again say "hope for the best" That's defeat talk. Have a concrete plan for your life
b)Yes, make that part of the divorce, he pays the mortgage until the kids grow up. You said he can afford it, so why not? Why are you even debating that?
c) It's only fair to split the equity.
Lady, get it together. It's over and it's time to move on. It's strictly business at this point. You have to plan for the care of your children. There's no guarantee that he'll do what's best for the kids out of the goodness of his heart. Get it in writing.
First and foremost guard your credit as you would your life. You can't get a decent job with bad credit.
Fight to the bitter end to stay in your home and have him pay until a specific date.
Stop being pissed off. Don't let him steal your happiness any longer. You are in control of you. You might need to take off for a while to get things into perspective.
2006-09-15 03:45:39 · answer #2 · answered by Pam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say B, except until the youngest is 18. In the meantime, you need to get yourself a better job, so you can take care of yourself. Think about getting some kind of training that you could complete in a couple of years--paralegals make great money, for example, and it doesn't take that long to get that degree.
Don't just take the cash and think you can use it to supplement your income, cos it will eventually run out and you won't have anything left.
Don't make your decision based on "bleeding" him, or based on what will make it harder for him--do it based on what is best for you and your kids. That's what matters. You can have a happy life if you take care of yourself and your kids. You have to just let go of your anger towards him, cos it will only end up hurting you and your children. They will be plenty angry on their own. What good is a man you can't trust, anyway? The next guy will be MUCH better--because you will have become a successful, independent woman who attracts a better type of man.
2006-09-15 03:22:55 · answer #3 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that my self respect and the needs of my kids were most important. I would suggest he walks away and puts a charge on the house so that if you EVER sell it (you are going to meet someone else and have a great life and he will be loaded!) he can take his 50% but for the meantime for the sake of the chidren's stability, he remains there and you pay all the bills etc, but he continues to contribute 50% of the mortgage payments on top of any maintenance. That way he is maintaining his profit share in the house, his children are not suffering a house move and parents separating, and when you want to move on you can and you are not losing too much. The you can concentrate on putting your life back together with dignity.
Good luck
2006-09-15 02:36:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It will get easier,at least some other poor bugger has to put up with his moods. I would go for B I think. I'm sure he has to support your children until 16. If not then get your name on council list fast. At least that way if he decides to sell house you have a back up! Or go into rented place and leave him and his B.I.T.C.H to the house and the bills and you and the kids can start fresh. Sell house go half's and enjoy the rest of your life. Whatever you decide to do all the best.
2006-09-15 06:30:27 · answer #5 · answered by claire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why women feel so entitled to their ex-husband's future income. You built this home together. You should split assets and debts in half and walk away. Why does he have to continue supporting you? Is it HIS fault that you chose not to get a decent education and can only get a crappy job with crappy pay? Yes, he should obviously help with child support, but why are you entitled to more?
Oh, and what kind of bullsh*t excuse is it that you got used to a certain lifestyle and now he is responsible for maintaining it? Consider yourself lucky to have had it good for a while, and like some woman commented, go on and find the next wealthy victim you can scam out of money.
2006-09-15 02:38:50 · answer #6 · answered by roobs 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you like the house than I would go with B out of B or C. If you can't stand to be in that house A But don't watch him. Start your own life. You could make him have the kids more often than you so yu have a chances to find love again if you want.
2006-09-15 02:37:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What gives you the right to "insist" on anything. The courts will make you sell the home, and split equity in half, or maybe give you the option to keep the home if you have children, but then YOU will have to pay the payments, not him.
2006-09-15 02:35:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
hello pissed off, at one time you both loved eachother. we live in a society were the only thing that people can see and say in this situation is lawyer, sue, leave him in the cold, dog him out etc.. why not try talking to him and bringing out the decent part that you once were in love with and just coming to a agreement between the two of you for your behalf the children and his. if you can make agreement then most definatly have your lawyer stipulate the agreement. doesnt hurt to try this 1st. If that doesnt work then I,m sure you will still get a lawyer to help you out..hope your family turns out for the best.
2006-09-15 03:01:51 · answer #9 · answered by hennesseywalton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say (b) if you want to still live there. If you absolutely divorcing do you really want to live in that house? Maybe take the kids and start a new life with them and try to forget about the past. Get him for child support will help. Good luck and best wishes for a brighter tomorrow.
2006-09-15 02:37:15 · answer #10 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋