Help please most helpful gets 10 points?

Question

ok I have an essay on global warming whoever helps me the most will get 10 points. Constructive criticism please.

Imagine a world just like “The Day After Tomorrow”. Tsunamis engulfing entire cities, earthquakes splitting roads apart, and hail the size of baseballs. Global warming is causing numerous radical changes in earth’s climate. These natural disasters may be man-made but, becoming pro-active can prevent a Hollywood movie from becoming reality.

Did you know that America produces more carbon dioxide than China, Japan, and India combined? Processing plants are to blame for more than 40% of our carbon dioxide. Coal plants consume fossil fuel, which will soon run out, so we can’t rely on them. Also, Cars are producing massive amounts of pollution. For every single gallon of gasoline you use 20 pounds of carbon dioxide is emitted. Furthermore, agriculture is the third biggest contributor to pollution. Agriculture uses many harmful chemicals such as, pesticides and fertilizers, which create methane, another chemical that causes global warming.

An extremely rapid population growth has contributed to global warming. Human beings took around 200,000 years to reach the population of 3 billion, but in the last 40 years it has more then doubled. Our environment can’t keep up, so it is our job to pick up the slack. The humongous population is demanding lots of food that is bad for the environment. For example, when cows digest grass methane is created so, just like us breathing out water, cow’s breath out methane and destroys the environment one breath at a time.

The impacts of global warming will vastly change earth’s climate. The sea level can rise up to three feet by the year 2100. If the sea level rose even two feet we would lose 10,000 square miles of land. Famines would sweep across third world countries and ruin today’s economy. Entire ecosystems could be destroyed and many animals become endangered. Some scientist’s predict there will be a “mini ice age” because icy cold water from the poles would travel throughout the planet. It is unlikely but much of the world would become uninhabitable due to glaciers.

In conclusion, we need to step up and take control of global warming. We need to teach other people to stop being ignorant and open their eyes. You can help out by simply changing your light bulb or even buying a more efficient car, but whatever you do it will help. Thank you for reading; I hope this was interesting and informative essay.

Must of got some wrong information, I am not biased my teacher made me do it on this subject. I would of much rather done it on poverty.

I was correct the carbon dioxide mixes with other oxygen so it makes it heavier.

Ok everyone I am not an enviromentalist or some type of tree huger. My teacher just gave me this project.

Answer 1

I agree with the first answer, you need to resummerize your thesis and make your conclusion stronger. The whole thing is also kind of choppy, you have absolutely no transition words at all. You need to start each paragraph with a transition of some sort. Even within the paragraphs it's choppy. It's been a while since I had my Environmental Science class, but it sounds good, just choppy. Watch some of your punctuation, it looks like you are missing a few comma's here and there but it's a good essay either way. Better than most I had read when I was still in school!!

Answer 2

First I will say that I liked your essay. I do how ever wonder at some of the more specific statements such as 1 gal of gas=20 lbs of carbon dioxide? Can you verify that statement? Also the methane from pesticides and fertilizer, i dont question that "poop" creates methane, but that is not only a cow thing but all poop creates methane, as does garbage dumps and various other dirtier places like septic systems and such. Perhaps we should stop using them and go back to outhouses? And one more point I would like to make about this essay is that "if" the water table rose 2 or 3 feet and famine spread worldwide it would affect economical tides but if famine was limited as you suggest to third world countries then I must say that we could dissimate the third world countries and it would have all in all little effect on the the world economy. There is a w 2 point reason for this one most third world countries are only feeding their people because some richer country is sending them food and two most of the countries already owe the U.S. millions they have already received and misused.

Answer 3

No, not interesting, not informative. But here's a solution to your perceived problem - how about if we get rid of all cattle and all farms? Before long people would begin to die off, thereby decreasing the world population and consequently much of the pollution you describe.
If you alarmists would bother to go to college and study earth science (as I have) you could see through the majority of this environmentalist BS.
And here's something else you need to understand; if you're a working scientist the best thing that can happen to you is to make a "discovery", whether your discovery is valid or not. It means notoriety and that wonderful phase RESEARCH GRANT!!. So don't put too much stock in the Al Gores of the world and these third rate scientists teaching in fourth rate schools. There's something to be said for the old adage, "those who can - do, and those who can't - teach."

Answer 4

Overall it is very good. I would put a comma after "gallon of gasoline being used", and also after "when cows digest grass". I would take out the last sentence and maybe add a little more to your conclusion. Again, I thought it was very good. Hope you get an "A".

Answer 5

mmmm I think you need to go back to the research table ... 1 gallon of gas does not produce 20 lbs of carbon monoxide (physically impossible, since 1 gal of gas only weighs about 4 lbs). Where you got your information and statistics, is very questionable, and they are either very very very wrong, or you interpreted them completely wrong due to your own bias. Have a good day :)

Answer 6

The conclusion is weak. You need to restate the thesis statement, get a litttle more dramatic by summarizing a statement from teh essay and drop the last sentence.

Answer 7

u r essay is great but may be u should give more preventive measures like planting trees which use carbon dioxide etc.

Answer 8

the essay is good except for the conclusion (i'd give you an "F" on that alone), you need to restate what you said in throughout the essay but, on how we can help etc., but DO NOT BE TOO LENGTHY!!!

Answer 9

There is tons of resources out there....

The recent Al Gore book "An Inconvenient Truth" states exactly your premises...

Answer 10

it's very good. you create a lot of imagery and the facts makes it hard evidence. it is shocking and factual and it shocked me .i like how you use well known places so you can imagine it. The way you start it is very engaging when you said "imagine", because you get the audience involved and thinking which is the best way to grab attention.good work