Both my husband and I were virgins before we got married and have now been married for 9 months. We have sex atleast once a day, sometimes more but I have no sexual drive whatsoever and it hurts most of the time. I feel so bad because my husband has tried everything and is extremely patient w/ me. He just feels bad that he is the only one getting pleasured. Could birth control have anything to do w/ it or is it just me?
2006-09-15 01:52:10 · 20 answers · asked by Me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It could most definitely be the birth control. It is very common because birth control alters your hormones to prevent pregnancy.
Contact the Dr. who prescribed the birth control and let them know what is going on. You may need a different dose or a different type.
Also, they may want to draw some blood to rule out any hormonal imbalance.
Good Luck!
2006-09-15 02:00:55 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hurts because you are not really "ready" when he begins. There is a product for some that find it useful called Astroglide which can help alleviate this and will not cause any sort of vaginal reaction. You don't want to do it because you know that it is going to be uncomfortable. For a woman sex begins in the mind. There could be other considerations like you might have fibroid tumors which could make sex painful. Talk with you ob/gyn she can tell you for certain if it is the pills or something else. If you don't want to have sex then DoN't. It won't make you a bad wife especially if it is painful.
2006-09-15 09:08:43 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm the wham bam thank you ma'am? When I was young one of my girlfriends recommended a book because I had a boyfriend and didn't know what the hell was going on. I didn't even know my own biology until I read it. I hate to admit I needed a book but the title was Everything you ever wanted to know about Sex but were Afraid to Ask. If you don't know how a female body works your husband probably knows even less. Certain things happen when you are aroused so there should be no pain. I am not going to explain it here, get the book if they still have it on the shelves.
You cannot get vocal about your wants and needs when you're new at sex, it's just weird to suddenly be blurting things out or giving instructions. What I did to save face was read the book when he wasn't around then I pretended like I knew this stuff all along.
Linda
2006-09-15 09:05:15 · answer #3 · answered by Linda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be serious! I would contact your family Dr.
It could also be that you are not relaxing enough, if you are tense nervous and don't relax it will hurt! Try different positions as well maybe you just need to find the right position. If you are dry it will hurt, if this happens try K-Y jelly. You will find your sex drive as time goes on just give it some time and timing is everything. You could try taking or drinking something to relax you before the next time and see if this makes any difference.
I'd still make an appointment with your Dr. for a check up just to be on the safe side.
2006-09-15 09:06:32 · answer #4 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he isn't taking enough time on fourplay with you. I have to have at 10 to 15 minutes before I am completely ready. Also you need to clear your mind and not think about anything else other than what your husband is doing to you. I don't recommend you having sex once a day unless you want to. There is a book that I like to read, and it has helped me so much. It is called Penthouse Letters. It has different kinds of stories in it that I am sure you would like to read. They are not a lot of money to purchase one about $8 for it. I used to read some of the stories with my ex and it did wonders for us in the bedroom just not anywhere else. Hope this helps you.
2006-09-15 09:29:42 · answer #5 · answered by Crazychick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahem... I'm not a sex therapist but this fact may be eye-opening for you. Most women DO NOT get orgasms from vaginal penetration alone. It is perfectly normal to ONLY experience orgasm after the clitoris has been stimulated. I'm only trying to help you when I say this, but this is true for me. Try incorporating stimulation to that area during intercourse. I can tell you that I have had astronomical and cosmic success using this method. Good Luck! P.S. You may want to suggest to your husband that he spend more time on foreplay. This will allow you to be properly lubricated before penetration. Be direct about where and how you like to be teased.
2006-09-15 08:59:30 · answer #6 · answered by Suz E. Home BAKER 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try some KY jelly or some better lubrication. It shouldn't hurt any more if you have been married 9 months. The birth control might make you real dry so have him use a lot of spit or better lubrication.
2006-09-15 12:16:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE THE TWO OF YOU NEED SOME LUBRICATION. THE BOTH OF YOU ARE NEW AT THIS SO IT IS GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME TO BREAK EACH OTHER IN. WHY DON'T THE TWO OF YOU START USING THAT KY TOUCH MASSAGE 2-1! THIS WAY THE TWO OF YOU WILL HAVE PLENTY OF WARMING MASSAGES AND ALSO A LOT OF FOREPLAY! AND THE TWO OF YOU WILL ALSO BE LUBRICATED ENOUGH AS WELL!!!
IT IS WONDERFUL THAT THE TWO OF YOU ARE LEARNING THE MOVES TOGETHER!
THAT IS GREAT, & VERY RARE, FOR THIS DAY & TIME!!!!!!
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
2006-09-15 11:13:06 · answer #8 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a bunch of different reasons that sex could be painful for you. I hate to use a cliche, but you really need to discuss it with your ob/gyn - the doctor can test you for things and advise the best course of action. Good luck!
2006-09-15 08:54:49 · answer #9 · answered by They call me ... Trixie. 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
some birth control pills can cause low sex drive. if it hurts you probably need to be better lubricated and not as deeply penetrated. discuss it with him, maybe you need more foreplay--which can be emotional as well as physical. I find that if I perform oral sex on my darling immediately before he enters me, it's enough lubrication for me to enjoy myself. above all, be open to talking about this though. commmunication is the key to a healthy sex life.
2006-09-15 08:57:28 · answer #10 · answered by at a snail's pace 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋