My Husband's Work Dictates How We Live.I feel very dissatisfied with my life. What should I do?

Answer 1

Ask yourself: 1) Have you agreed with your husband that the family's financial needs demanded these sacrifices? 2) Or, do you feel that you unwillingly accepting a lifestyle that you've never really wanted?

If the answer to question #1 is yes, then your anger and frustration are more a function of the fact that you are no longer satisfied with the choices that you and your husband once made. People and relationships grow and change. Perhaps moving for the sake of your husband's work was once acceptable to you. However, you now understand the price that you and the children have had to pay and it's no longer worth it to you.

If that's the case, then I would suggest that you begin to dialog with your husband and help him to understand the effect moving has had on you and the children. Perhaps, when he fully understands how you feel, he will then be willing to explore additional options.

If, on the other hand, the answer to question #2 is yes, then ask yourself why you've allowed your husband to become so powerful that neither you nor the children have had a say in how this family functions.

Find the courage to assert yourself. Without blaming or accusing, confront your husband. Tell him that you're not interested in making more sacrifices. He must understand that there are two people in this marriage and both have needs and wants. A marriage can only work when there is mutual respect. It might be safer to share your feelings in a letter which will enable him to have the time to think about your concerns.

Answer 2

Talk to him. For many years my job required us to move around. My wife and kids were great but I could tell it was taking its toll. We put a plan together to determine where we wanted to live (both of us) and how to get there. Now that we are where we want to be (and I got the company to pay for the move), I am considering a career move so I can stay home more. Future promotions with this company all lead towards the central office and I don't want that. So it is time to try something new.

The key is to work together. Don't approach him with the "Your job is making my life horrible". That puts tremendous pressure on him and will immediatly cause him to get defensive. (did I mention I have been through this) Talk about what the problem really is and why you feel dissatisfied. Could be that you need a career change if you work. If not, maybe volunteering in the community will give you an outlet for your creativity and needs.

Answer 3

Dear i suggest u to read the book "men r from mars and woman from venus"....men always think on different wave length n we women need the warmth n family life.
Dont force him to care less about his job nor nag him.Start appreciating him on his work front & chart out a plan where u guys need to spend some time with each other.Tell him "In making a living not to forget life"
Dear u have ur own life too,get going.....join some classes or if ur working,enjoy ur work.....sweetz there is life beyond everything else.DONT WRECK UR LIFE....WE LIVE ONLY ONCE.

Answer 4

did he have this job before you married?well if so you should have cleared that up before hand,however if this job was a decision he made on his own then give him consequences i just gave my husband an ultimatum 3 hours a go and wright now he just left to his knew job his old job was not working in our relationship,but he still insisted he wanted to stay even after getting a new job that would work with our schedule and pay 3 more dollars an hour then what he was getting paid i threatened to give him the boot and he seen things my way real quick!LOL!I just hope i truly made the right choice also.Good luck I know how you feel

Answer 5

hey hun,
Being unhappy is not the way to live it will get you down and make you fel worse im not sure of your situation ..kids, financial etc.. but cant you guys talk about it and tell him how unhappy you are.. ask him to set aside a certain amount of time for you time in the evenings.. make sure you have things that make you happy also in the sense of activities, going out and ensure it has equal dictation its not a singular relationship and hes not the only person you need to be accounted for best advise dont let it go do something a bout it before you become too unhappy hope things work out for you karenx

Answer 6

Talk to him about it, if thats isnt working, then ask yourself a few questions first. Did you encourage the job? Are you in marriage for the longhaul? Are there any kids involved? If so then counseling would be good, maybe for you at first, then gradually bring him in if hes not "into" the idea of marriage counseling. You could call it family therepy or tell him one you have seen a counselor that its part of your counseling for him to be there. My husbands job definatly dictates our lives...hes a military recruiter, its VERY DEMANDING. I wish you luck hon, if you love him, get over it and be the best wife you can be. He will love you more for it later! Good luck!

Answer 7

Your hubby may be under some compulsion to stick to his present job which also supports your family. You have to understand his problem and discuss together to look for an altrenative. If a change of job is not possible, there may be some scope for change in time schdule. Try to convince him that he needs to spend some more time with his family for a happy life.

Answer 8

I need more information to give a good answer on this one. What does he do for a living? What exactly is happening?

Based on the information you did give, I would say - try to adjust as best you can. I work days and my husband works nights - his days off vary every week and I look at it as a sign for me to learn to become flexible.

Answer 9

The answer lies within yourself.
Fix your priority - what you need man or money.
Your husband might be giving more time for good earning. If you feel satisfied and can run your family with lesser money tell your husband to give more time to you and curtail from his work.

Answer 10

Go back to school and just take a few classes. Join a local club or church. Do at home daycare. Volunteer at your kid's school. Join a church. In other words make a life for yourself. Get busy. Walking,excercise etc...Do things for yourself.