i've had a vry lonely life,i've my share of emotional probs,i feel insecure,how to forget past?

Question

my dad,whom i loved a lot ditched me n my mom wen i was 10.later my mom took to drinking,i felt miserable,but i love her to death.my life was mess,but i nevr complained to anyone,i cried,hated going home.but life goes on.I never blame my mom even though she cud've been more nice to me.But i hate my dad,but e was the one i loved most wen i was young.Is it my fault? Now my mom is given up drinking,she feels ill but medically she is fine,she needs me most n i'm always there for her,i hav gud boyfriend.But at times i feel so insecure n sad? wat to do? plz help

Answer 1

Hey Hw r u ?
It was not your fault that u loved your dad . Even I love my dad. And every girl does. And u mom is blaming u is coz she is frusrated.It so happens that when one separates from the one they love they tend to blame other ppl around them. That is the same thing happened to ur Mom. That is not your mother's fault , its obvious . Its natural to be sad and feel unsecure abt things as ur past has been bad. But forgetting things and living life is the thing everyone should accept. And its gr8 that u didnt turn to drugs . U r a very brave girl and u should feel proud of urself.
A guy saying no to u will be foolish. And he will loose u completly. Its awesome that u have a gud Boyfriend. But believe me Time will heel everyone thing.
Take care and Live a gr8 and rocking Life !!
Cheers !!!

Answer 2

You never forget your past, the best you can do is learn from the mistakes of others when you move on in life. For one thing, it is not your fault that your father left your family. It had nothing to do with you, it was him. Don't spend your life hating him, it will eat you alive and you will become a bitter adult, don't let anyone do that to you.

I will tell you what I tell my foster child all the time: It sucks that you have had such a miserable past, you were dealt a very raw hand in life at a young age, but you have an opportunity to change your future, you have seen what a sucky life looks like and all you can do is make sure that those things don't happen to you in the future. You do this by making wise choices, going to school and working hard to become the best you can be.

It sounds like you have a supportive B/F, let him be there for you and try to look to the future and not dwell on the past.

Good luck with the rest of your life and you will be in my thoughts.

Answer 3

I hope it encourages you that I have experience with "feeling lonely at the top". When I have grown emotionally, spiritually, etc. I noticed that the friends I had at that time did not mesh well with the changes I made. Those friends would laugh at me or criticize my changes, and therefore those friendships expired. It hurts and feels lonely. The new friends that I meet doing the things I like bring hope that there are others "like me". For example, when you see someone doing what you do, or speaking on something you relate to, go ahead and put yourself out there. It is worth it because you just might be making a new friend who shares your new way of being! Good luck, I know it's hard, and it's hard for me creating a succinct response...

Answer 4

There are many people who have had a troubled life.Growing up I myselfe was treated poorly By my mother.My father was always working out of state.If we My brothers and I were lucky .We would go with our father when he worked on different job sites.Just to get away from the beatings.Your mom is a recovering alcoholic.That is good.I would suggest Al anon it's for family of alcoholics recovering or otherwise.If communication is good with your boyfriend.Let him in, talk about how your feeling.Some times talking with some one you love and trust.Is the best cure.It does help.For Ive been there myselfe.I now have a close relationship with my mother.As my father passed away four years ago.I realized we only live once.You can not hold grudges forever.If you do you might miss out on alot of possible good times.I wish you luck.

Answer 5

You need to talk to someone...councilor, priest someone..you might want to check out an Al-Annon meeting or two as well. OF COURSE it is not your fault your Dad left or your Mom picked up a bottle. You were an innocent kid. It might help if you write down in a journal how you feel or what is going on in your head when you feel sad and insecure. Those are normal feelings for someone who has been abandoned. And the exercise of writing might make it easier to deal with and let go of those feelings. Is your Mom going to AA meetings? That might help too. Hang in there honey....it will get better.

Answer 6

Things do get better really.My husband had a simaliar life as yours,he was 8 years old when his dad left and he had 5 brothers and sisters they were very poor he never had a childhood no holidays or birthdays.He did not see his dad again till he was 24 and we got a call saying he was dying I dont know why but my husband did go see him.When we first got married my husband was always depreressed and dident even want to celebrate holidays or have anything to do with family.I kept pushing him and really tried to make things fun so he could see that life is different then it was when he grew up.Now no one enjoys holidays and family as much as him things do get better honestly.I dont know if you go to church but it helps so much we tried all kinds of churches till we found one we both enjoyed and it really does do miracles ..good luck

Answer 7

There is a difference betwen monkey and dog. If they have any wound monkey keep on scraching while dog keep on licking it. The result is that dogs wound heel up whereas monkeys wound goes from bad to worst. Lesson is that we should not scratch our past. Human brain has the power to forget the past . The moment u live in today u will feel secure.

Answer 8

Ok. You have begun to move forward.
This is very good.
Respect the past, it helped shape you. But while you should respect it, don't get stuck there.
Find some things that you are good at or that you enjoy doing.
Build on these good things.

you are going to see great things this year.
Be open to the opportunities.
Stay away from bad things and bad people.

Love, luck, and laughter,

pete

Answer 9

dont forget the past,,learn from it,,if you feel neglected then do something about it,,talk to your mum and say how you feel,but dont forget you have a life too and to move on you have to live it,,,,get out there,let your mum sort herself out if she is medically fine,,you cant give her what she needs but you can make your own life better if you think about you,,when you get older you may be able to find your dad and get the grief of his leaving off of your chest but you wont feel better unless you make things better,,live for now ,not then

Answer 10

By only thinking about wat your dad has done to you and ur mom ,you are spoiling your present and future . your mom is more hurt then u . Live life today for a better tommorrow dont regeret the past. try to settle down in life/profession and enjoy.
Challenges are part of life ,overcoming these challenges are enjoyment. if life is always smooth, its going to be boring.
We enjoy light when it is dark