hiya, I have been with my fella for the past three years, we were very very in love, however this year we started to have problems, he is the most sincre loving caring and trustworthy person i have ever met, however the longer we have gone on together the less i seem to trust him and over analyse everything he does or says. Its driving me mad, and now because of all this we are apart, we both want to work on getting back together but are not sure whether we can because of the issues that i have caused in this relationship. I am very clingy to him and i hate it that he gets female attention, we have always been very open with each other and he has never lied to me, why cant i trust him and does anyone have any ideas to help me building trust as he says unless i can show him trust he cant do this anymore. we do love each other and i want so badly to sort this out. my jealousy and lack of trust is taking over my life.
2006-09-15 00:56:15 · 3 answers · asked by sporty_monkeyfeet 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to first figure out why you're having these feelings. Are you insecure about yourself for whatever reason? Have you been cheated on before? Do you not feel he loves you anymore? These could just a few reasons why jealousy turns its ugly head in relationship. Once you figure out the problem, then you'll be able to work on the real issue.
To me it sounds like you have a combination of two problems. One it sounds like you have been cheated on before. So as a result, you're afraid that he will do the same (even if you don't realize it). Try to give him the benefit of the doubt. He's gonna get attention from other girls, but he obviously doesn't want them. He wants you and only you or he'd been cheating a long time ago (which I really don't think he is). Instead, be proud. You have a handsome guy that other girls want, who only wants you. Put your head up, smile, and put your arm around him when you two are walking. This will show other girls he's yours and your d*mn proud of it. The second problem could be that you're a little insecure about yourself and may feel like you're no longer good enough to be with him, so you have to cling to him to keep him. That's obviously not the case of he wouldn't be with you. Believe him when he tells you he loves you, you're gorgeous, etc. Cuz after three years, he wouldn't say it if he didn't believe it. That pride on what you two have and just work on your issues and things should settle down. Also, have him remind you when you start to get jealous or clingy so that way you can stop yourself. You really can't do this yourself and showing him you're trying will mean so much. Good luck and I hope I helped in some way.
2006-09-15 01:13:14 · answer #1 · answered by T.G. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men do not like woman that are clingy, and in order to not be so clingy, you need to get a life. By that I mean find activities and interests that are of interest an importance to you, do some volunteer work, anything that would distract from him and your jealous and obsessive way. Trust as you know is a really important part of any relationship and noone can give trust to you, you need to believe in what you and this guy share. He will get fed up of your constant insecurities and find someone that he doesn't have to reassure every two seconds! Grow up, strengthen your relationship by being independant, finding your own interests, loving yourself, building your confidence and self-esteem. Stop being so paronoid, women are everywhere and yes, they will look at your man, but so what, he is with you, isn't he? And if he hasn't given you any reason to be insecure, then relax.
2006-09-15 08:19:36 · answer #2 · answered by spoiltrini 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To trust is to believe. Nobody is so perfect as a saint. You are a common human being, so does he. Trust is based on the deep love between him and you. To trust is simply to love.
2006-09-15 08:04:29 · answer #3 · answered by Billy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋