She hates them, She says the most hurtfull things about them. I am getting to the point where I cant stand it. I am very close to them and want them more in my life. HELP ME PLEASE People!
2006-09-15 00:50:09 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
it is always 2 to blame in a relationship not 1 person's fault only. it take 2 hands to make a clapping sound.
she hate them coz:
- there is personality, values & moral clash. different social background prejudices?
- she has very fix things she wants to see happen in the future wedding & she unwilling to bend on them & your family is also trying to put their 2 dime of opinions in there.
- she disrespectful coz she think your parents r controlling & she is at lower priorty to them. she may be controlling too?
- your parent is unwilling to let u go, so they make her feel unwelcoming.
- u always siding your family, closing your ear to any valid thing she has to say.
- your family planned everything for your wedding excluding her wishes
- u seldom stand up to champion for her wishes even at the face of opposition from your family.
remember u r meant to leave your family emotionally & mentally if not physically. u & your fiance r setting up a new family unit (when married) with its own set of rules, morals & values. both of u have to work out & compromise if needed what good stuffs u going to bring into the future marriage & wat u don't want copy from your parent's marriage. u r not setting up a replica of your parent marriage & neither shd she.hence do not turn a deaf ear to each other's contribution to the future marriage.
be a man, danny, its part of maturing as a man & husband to be. husband must always stand by his wife & kids, that 1st priorty, the other family come 2nd. marriage is about serving your spouse & she does the same to u. is not about serving yourself, or your spouse serving u.
i being honest coz i was in your shoes 12 yrs ago. u get through it, always be man enough to admit faults, be humble & teachable.
hope this is helpful 4 u, email me if required. Good luck & peace, man
2006-09-15 05:20:12 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen buddy,if your fiancee loves and respects you she SHOULD respect your love for them and stop saying all those mean things about them.She sounds like someone who isnt very close with her family,has been hurt one too many times and is probably just jealous that you have such a good relationship with them.You should tell her straight"Listen...I'm not asking you to love them but I demand you to respect them because they're my parents and I'm close to them.I never want to hear a bad word come from your mouth again about them...otherwise...we cant be together".End of story!Thats what I would do.She sounds a little immature too by the way.You cant be with someone who hates your family.Family is everything..Unless they have done something wrong towards her..I dont know.Thats the best advice I can give.Good luck!
2006-09-15 08:38:30 · answer #2 · answered by firefly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you mean fiance, first let me begin by saying that ain't no way am I going to be with someone who hates my parents and has no problem expressing same.
My spouse or partner does not necessarily have to love them but they definately need to respect them and me, and one way of doing so, is to not say anything that will hurt and disrespect me in any way. I suggest you sit her down and set her straight, because if she is this way now and she isn't your wife, can you imagine how she will be when she gets a ring. You will be forced to choose, and I don't think your parents deserve to have someone threaten the relationship and love that you share. There are other women who would be respectful of your parents and you should not settle for someone who apparently has some issues. Show her the door before it's too late.
2006-09-15 08:01:29 · answer #3 · answered by spoiltrini 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Danny Boy for one you can not make her like your family, she ether does or she doesn't and that is a fact. I think the bigger question is why is she being so very rude and inconsiderate towards YOU?
There are people in my husbands family that he is close to that I can not stand, but I would never ever be rude or disrespectful to him by saying anything bad about his loved ones. I think that you should have a talk with her about her attitude and the way she is disrespectful to you and your parents. if she can not control how she speaks about them dump her, remember blood is thicker than water.
2006-09-15 08:05:38 · answer #4 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how it hurts your feeling when she talks badly about your parents. You have to realize that she isnt only marrying you but the whole family. And your parents are going to play a big part in her life from now on too. If she cant resolve her issues with your family I believe this relationship doesnt stand a chance. Please sort it out before the wedding.
2006-09-15 08:01:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there has to be a reason why she doesn't like them. did they say anything to her that upset her?. you cant stop her not liking them. ask her why doesn't she like them. maybe she is doing it to see how far you will go and take her side instead of their's. ask her straight out and if you dont like the answer well then you know what to do. is she an only child.
2006-09-15 07:57:57 · answer #6 · answered by flower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you even think you will have a life like that, to the curb with the Biocth
2006-09-15 07:57:34 · answer #7 · answered by EL Big Ed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is there a reason why she saying this stuff? did they do or say something to her? but if shes just being a ***** set her straight..tell her to give them a chance and get to know them but if shes refusing maybe you dont want her as your fiance...tell her to keep her opinions to herself or she can find another mans family to bash
2006-09-15 07:54:02 · answer #8 · answered by jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but if she doesn't like them there isn't anything that you could do to change her mind. have you asked her to stop saying these things as they hurt you? she might stop if she realises what effect they're having on you
2006-09-15 07:53:41 · answer #9 · answered by Kerri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋