Been with my hubbie for 12 years, 2 beautiful children. Just moved to dream home. Have discovered husband registering on dating sites for the umpeenth time. Has had 2 affairs already. What should I do??
2006-09-15 00:33:45 · 61 answers · asked by Ands G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sign onto dating site yourself
2006-09-15 00:35:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Disconnect your online services and use the library for research. I know it's inconvenient but your hubby obviously has a weakness in the self-control dept. He's already demonstrated his propensity to stray. Keep in mind that a spouse will generally fool around because of how he feels about himself when he is with the other person. It's not an excuse but I have found it is often the reason. Congrats! on the new home but I am sure that with that comes alot of extra pressure and responsibility. A new relationship doesn't have any of that nor does it have a history. I would tell you to get rid of the puter entirely but you can still put programs on it for the kids. Let the kids spend a weekend with friends or relatives and have a long talk with your hubby without hashing out the old affairs. Express your concerns and find out what is going on with him that he feels a need to flirt with strangers.Barring all other efforts then divorce him and keep the house.
2006-09-15 01:00:09 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you know this about him when you married, I'm guessing that you didn't.
He could have an addiction to sex and women. I know this must be absolutely heartbreaking, but you need to either leave him or get him counseling.. There are counselors that specialize in addictions such as that.
But I have to ask, why are you still married to him if he has already had two affairs(that you know about). Don't you think you deserve better. Just remove the computer from the house or get rid of the Internet. If he is going to act like a child then treat him like one.
And a comment on what Fluffy said- That is not being a man, that is being a coward. A REAL MAN resists temptation and is faithful to his wife and family.
2006-09-15 01:16:39 · answer #3 · answered by Dre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs counseling if he wants to stay married. More than likely he is either a sex addict, or is very emotionally insecure and uses the conquests to validate his existance. He is truly missing the blessings he has in you and the children. He is jeopardizing all of that, and for irrational reasons. I recommend marriage counseling and if that does not work, have him see a counselor to find the void he is trying to fill with his affairs. If he refuses help, there is little choice outside of divorce. I am so sorry, but do not put your life at risk because he refuses to get help and appreciate what he has.
2006-09-15 00:39:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-02-11 04:06:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all no man of mine is GONNA BE NEAR ANOTHER WOMAN or hes out the door I couldnt stand the fact of my husband cheating on me and I dont believe I could forgive him I would do some investigating first catch him in the act follow him and take your computer in and have them copy all of the places he has been and keep that for evidience sounds like to me you got HIM BY THE BALLS!!!!! You Deserve better and So do your children believe me there are some good men out there that will treat you with the love and respect that you deserve! File for divorce and kick him out take him for everything house car everything you got him girl hes having affairs and sounds like you have proof see a lawyer and get on with your life and enjoy your kids lifes to short to live this way God Bless and Good Luck!
2006-09-15 00:44:33 · answer #6 · answered by IMSOINLOVEWITHYOU 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your happy to live like this do nothing. If however you need the situation to change it can be only you that makes the changes. If you still love your husband and feel he is worth sticking with then you need to address the problem head on. Do not stay with him if it is only to keep your children happy. Your children will grow up and move on with their own lives. You will then be left in a marriage filled with deceit and bitterness. The other choice of course, is to ask him to leave.
2006-09-15 01:15:45 · answer #7 · answered by angelab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you want from this relationship?
You know his M.O already, and I'll bet you didn't lay down the law when he did this before.
If you are happy to stay with him, do. But don't spend your time obsessing over what he is doing. Get on with your life.
Following trails, knowing what he is up to isn't going to help YOU. You could do it for years and years.
I think you need to be strong. Work out what YOU want and tell him.
Stay for the kids and lifestyle if that makes you happy, but make a life for yourself too. It is no life following your husbands trails to other women. I hope you understand what I'm trying to get across here. Good luck too.
2006-09-15 01:18:02 · answer #8 · answered by zara c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh that's a hard one!! On one side you have a marriage that has lasted a long time and you must love him a lot to put up with the adultery. On the other, don't you deserve to be in a faithful relationship? Have you tried marriage counselling? You need to get to the bottom of what is making him unfaithful and you need to decide if it can be fixed and if you want to stay with him if it can't.
2006-09-15 01:22:23 · answer #9 · answered by Oldfruit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. You get to keep the children and your dream home. Dont be frightend of starting a new life, you will get help financially if you need it and im sure you will be so much happier. He obviously wont change. But you can take control of your life. Find the courage and you will find the happiness you deserve. Good luck.
2006-09-15 00:41:21 · answer #10 · answered by chinablue_8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a shame as you seem to have a lot to lose such as your dream home and your world from the outside probably seems perfect. But for you its not, you can't keep putting yourself through this so the only way you can get out is. It will be hard but you'll get through it.
Good luck
2006-09-15 00:39:56 · answer #11 · answered by lindsay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋