door bell that night? What if she didn't drive and slept on a couch? She wasn't even drunk or messed up! Please help me with some advice! Should I and other friends feel this way? I know it wasn't any of our faults but Why did this happen? Please give some sort of other outlook!
2006-09-15 00:28:57 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Cold hard truth! All the what ifs in the world won't change what has already happened! Dig deep and accept " What is , is" Take your best memory of your friend and use it to do good for others! That is all you can do!
2006-09-15 00:37:11 · answer #1 · answered by Star of Florida 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone dies, it's common for people to feel guilty, especially when the death was sudden.
If you would have answered your door bell, you might have kept her alive another day, but she was going to drink and drive so you would have lost her another day. Try to remember all of the times you were a good friend to her and remember that she wouldn't want you to be taking the blame.
Even though you know it wasn't your fault, you'll still feel guilty for a little while, it's part of the denial stage of grief. Soon, you'll start feeling angry with your friend for what she did and that's normal too. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance are the common stages of grief (although everyone processes death differently) that you can expect to go through.
This is a good time to write your thoughts down. It's a good time to get together with your other friends so you can talk about the friend you're missing and it's a very good thing to think about your own life and how precious it is.
2006-09-15 07:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by Canadian_mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are five stages to grief and the first one is guilt, hence the "what if" scenario.
If we knew the why to everything we would be unbearably snug human beings so we are spared that horror. Instead we have to deal with the emptiness of the unanswerable.
It was and is unimaginably sad to be the one who is left behind. it will pass. You have to let grief run its course.
Your friend feels no pain now , so it is fine to celebrate the life she lived. To remember the good memories and the times she made you laugh until you cried. That is her legacy to you. Treasure and use the memories of her. Let them see the light of day and your laughter.
It will ease the pain and do her no disservice. Wishing you, peace , wholeness and hope.
2006-09-15 07:39:39 · answer #3 · answered by Christine H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Lord has his own reasons for doing things. We may never understand these reasons nor should we try to. I know it hurts to lose a loved one, and people try to say things like there in a better place now which rarely makes you feel better. Try not to feel guilty it was just that persons time to go. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it.
2006-09-15 07:35:45 · answer #4 · answered by Sasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can choose to feel guilty if that's what you enjoy -- my mother is happiest when she is feeling most miserable. But you can also choose not to accept that burden -- bad stuff simply happens.
2006-09-15 07:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by Ever Learn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was her time to go
God never promises tomorrow
even if u answered your doorbell that night when its your time to go , u are going to go and nothing or noone can stop it
2006-09-15 07:34:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋