I've been married to my husband for 7 years, and he has never bought me a birthday present, it annoys me and whenever I tell him that, he gives me the exuse that he would not have a clue what to buy me, because I buy everything that I need myself and that I have got every thing which is true. but whenever it's his or our 2 childrens birthday I always make it special and with lots of presents. By the way we have got the most fantastic relationship ever and are expecting our 3'rd baby and he would never let me needing anything, and everything comes from him (money in the account, house, nice car etc.) exept for my birthday present.
2006-09-14 23:45:11 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think my boyfriend stated it really well...Its the people who are loved the most, that are usually the ones to complain...He came from a family that didnt really stick together, so he had to fend for himself from a young age. My family is very close, and even though we have had our problems, i can always count on their love and support.
I can relate to the way you feel...but if we really look at our lives then are we actually missing out on anything?
Take your husband, kids and go out on your birthday...splurge on them...even though its your day! I have a feeling it will be even a greater feeling for you than receiving gifts from them...because where would we be without the people we love.
As far as the presents, maybe you could give him suggestions ex. circle a couple of things in a magazine that you like and leave it around for him to see...and also make sure you realize why he doesnt buy you presents...maybe you are critical of it and he doesnt want to buy you something you wouldnt like...
I see that you are aware how lucky you are...dont take it for granted...because this depression is taking it for granted. You have a loving husband, 2 kids and a 3rd one on the way...everything you could possibly want or need you have...look at it this way...you could either have been born to receive, or born to share and love! :) Maybe through the sharing and loving even more than you already are...you wont care about what you receive...its helped me for sure! Whenever i get upset/depressed i try to see what more i could do...
By the way a VERY VERY Happy Birthday!
2006-09-15 00:03:51 · answer #1 · answered by Patience 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First off - happy birthday! Simple answer to your 'dilemma' regarding a birthday present, and it's something to make both yourself and your husband feel good (and banish any thoughts of depression) - how about sponsoring a needy child through somewhere like World Vision, or buying a goat (or a herd) for a family in a developing nation? These are usually year on year sponsorships so every year, on your birthday, you get the warm glow of helping someone who otherwise wouldn't necessarily be able to help themselves, and your husband doesn't need say he doesn't know what you want.
2006-09-15 00:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by Tim K 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really recommend you telling him how important it is to you. Tell him that what he buys is not so critical as the act that he did go out of his way to do something. Tell him it can be as simple as flowers, or perhaps a trip to the day spa and a babysitter so you can get away for a few hours for you. We are in a similar situation, and I know how much she enjoys her little trips to the spa. So each year, I get her a gift certificate, line up a babysitter if I am not available, and let her get pampered for a few hours. He loves you and will do it if you let him know how important it is to you. If you do not want time at a spa, just think of what you treat yourself with and have him provide the means and time to do it. With a growing family (Congrats by the way) and a full schedule, sometimes "time" to do something you really like is the best gift and he certainly can provide that. Even a woman who has everything she wants never has enough time. lol I hope this helps.
2006-09-14 23:55:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Aww Happy Birthday tomorrow! That would drive me nuts but maybe you should write out a list for him and say these are some of the things that I would like for my birthday, although you have left it a bit late for him this year. Or tell him you dont care what it is and that he shouldnt worry as long as he keeps the reciept! Have a great day tomorrow and if he doesnt buy you a nice wee gift then tell him tomorrow that you are going away to a weekend spa on him! :0)
2006-09-14 23:54:14 · answer #4 · answered by kookiboo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only thing I can suggest is fight fire with fire.
Organise your own party and presents as you would for his b'day except make it cost five or more times the price. Then you can tell him if he put any effort in at all, the whole day would have been much cheaper.
Send flowers to his office with a note saying take these home to your beautiful wife for her birthday and swing by xxxxx store and pick up and pay for the xxxxxxx that she ordered for her b'day, and then the wine shop for a vintage champagne and order a babysitter and book a very lovely, very expensive restaurant.
THEN on his b'day do nothing.
2006-09-15 01:28:32 · answer #5 · answered by zara c 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Happy birthday for tomorrow!!! Men sometimes are so bad at birthdays and all the present thing,aren't they. Perhaps you need to be quite specific about gifts. Say to him that you have seen something you really like and would like it for your birthday and although it will not be a surprise at least he then feels that he has gone and bought you something you need and you feel you have been given a gift. Give it a try.
2006-09-14 23:57:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is very important, you are the mother of his children and he should respect that one day a year you need to be looked after and pampered. You will have to shame him either by telling all his friends and family or by putting up a huge sign outside your house saying "HE FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY AGAIN" Have a superb birthday - go out and dont invite him if he does not get you a present.
2006-09-15 01:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by angelab 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have a good relationship, then he clearly doesn't know how much this hurts you. Have a talk with him about it and let him know that it's the thought that counts, not that the present is something you need and haven't bought for yourself. Suggest flowers, candy, gift certificates, certain websites, whatever you like. We all like things that we'd never buy for ourselves.
And ignore those two stupid children who answered first. They are jealous because all they have is their youth and they don't even know how meaningless age is.
2006-09-14 23:53:06 · answer #8 · answered by julz 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
im turning 19 tomorrow and i feel the same way. I am always excited for my friends birthdays, but on my own birthday i am not so excited. About an hour ago i cried, and my roomates heard me and cheered me up with cake, which was nice. maybe you shoudl do the same for yourself. take your son and anyone else you care about and go eat some cake now lol. try to spend it with people you care about. also, maybe you shoudl go out and drink since you are turning 21?
2016-03-27 02:09:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband never bought me a gift until I started just telling him what I want. Now he takes the initiative and buys me things that he knows that I would like.
And want to talk about depressed. I am 31 and our baby is 9. But I just found out that I am pregnant. I thought I was done with that stage in my life and now I keep thinking.... diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, night time feedings, teething, & terrible 2's.
2006-09-15 00:15:41 · answer #10 · answered by lynda0322 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋