my best friend is a guy. he had a thing for me a while back, but I thought we had it sorted. He regularly tells me that I am attractive, etc which I just laugh off cause it's like a bit of banter. But the other week, we went out and he kept commenting on the dress I was wearing. Instead of saying 'yeah you look nice in that dress' he said 'I need to go and crack on off now'!!
I feel quite uncomfortable with it. We've slept in the same bed before and I've woke up to find him touching me, but he's said he didn't know what he was doing cause he was drunk/asleep. I'm starting to get irratable with him cause it's like he treats me like a girlfriend but I don't want to be his girlfriend! Often when we meet it's just the two of us, and I'm aware that it's getting just a little too cosy but I don't know what to do!
2006-09-14 23:35:02 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I do my best to avoid situations where it looks like it might get a bit too cosy... like I try and avoid staying at his house, if I do I claim the couch as my bed. I avoid spending nights in with him too...
2006-09-14 23:37:23 · update #1
Catherine, you need to have a serious talk with this guy. He is obviously infatuated with you and likes you. If he truly values your friendship, he needs to respect the limits you have on the relationship. He has not learned your limits, likely because it has not been discussed seriously and with defined boundaries. I hate to see it cost you a friendship, but if he persists, cool things off by not seeing him for a while. If he persists even then, break off the friendship, he does not respect you.
2006-09-14 23:40:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He is not a 'friend' if he finds you "hot" baby!
You HAVE to tell him off!!! No other way...and with the liberties you give him or have given him (sleeping in the same bed!) have also made him feel possessive about you and believe me you are in a lot of trouble!
The best you can do now is 'go off' to some other place - for work or study...to remain sane...you HAVE to break this friendship. Men are darn too aggressive and possessive once they cross a certain line and you have gone past the 'point of no return'!
2006-09-15 00:17:18 · answer #2 · answered by Cyrene J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IM a bloke and ive almost been in the situ your friend has been in, i met this really cool girl at college 9 years ago, and thought nothing of it, but a few years ago we went on a 'Catch up' Nightout and she looked amazing, i kissed her on the lips and told her how i feel and she said that it might work but possible not, being 3 years older than her i had a good think about it and even now i still have very strong feelings for her but i try to think of her as a little sister and close friend. believe me it is hard at time as she is very attractive, but i need to stay cool and keep our relationship as it is as i certainly dont want to ruin what we do have
2006-09-14 23:50:01 · answer #3 · answered by poli_b2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to back off quick and that you do NOT like him that way otherwise you might find your self hating him for something else like waking up finding him on top of you trying to put it in and do not sleep in the same bed or even over at his place or have him sleep over at yours realy bad idea until he get a clue and has a gf in his bed with him and try always have other friends around at all times you are with him
2006-09-15 00:06:27 · answer #4 · answered by meandragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure - he is a man and wants you. Tricky how you handle this without losing him as a friend. I dont think you are in a relationship or the bf might have something to say to him - better not see so much of each other and try not to sleep together - thats dynamite !!
2006-09-14 23:42:26 · answer #5 · answered by Daddybear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you either have to be his girlfriend or take some time awya.finsh it, you are continually riasing his ecpectations by soending so much time for him, are you guilty of treating him like a substitie boyfiriend because you have't got one? Not fair to treat people like this.
Also you are tempting fate stayin over, things can get out of hand
Be fair to both of you
Also if you spend so much time with him you won;t get a boyfirend cos all the men will think you are takenI
2006-09-14 23:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him straight out that you're not interested in him that way and that you feel uncomfortable with his behaviour.
Tell him that whilst you love and value him as a friend, that you are under increasing pressure to deal with his actions and you dont want to be turned off the friendship due to something as silly as lust on his behalf. Tell him that if ye were meant to "be" that way it would have happened by now and that its just not worth it!
2006-09-14 23:41:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop seeing him when you're alone.
I know you're friends but some guys find it hard to tell the difference.
Sharing a bed probably helped to put the thought into his mind.
Get a guy you want, and put this poor bloke out of his misery.
He obviously loves you.
2006-09-14 23:40:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him clearly that he is getting too close and u don't like it. U just want to be a friend and thats all. Don't allow him to think that u don't want to oppose it will make the matter worse for u.
2006-09-14 23:46:14 · answer #9 · answered by pat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you may need to loose a friend, I know that sounds harsh. But for you friends sake, that might be the best thing you can do. He is obviously hoping your feelings will change for him and the longer it goes on the harder it will be for him when you do.
2006-09-14 23:44:16 · answer #10 · answered by Keith J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋