This young 33yr old man is intelligent, a strong Christian, and has specific aims in life relating to doing God's work. Unfortunately he often feels disappointed with his efforts and tends not to get excited about life in general. (He has tried questionaires which show he is NOT depressed). He lacks concentration off and on but is very quick with maths, sport etc. He does enjoy eating (also health conscious) and enjoys God's presence when praying etc. He has said in the past that a major problem has been lack of affection from his father (separated from his mother). Even tho' his father visited recently and stayed with him he felt no "fathering". He knows that he is not depressed but simply has something wrong ?physical (e.g.brain function) and gets quite frustrated when people offer all sorts of advice with very little understanding of his problem. He is separated (2yrs). Please, if you have advice which you feel very strongly about please give it. Please-no flippant answers
2006-09-14 22:38:27 · 6 answers · asked by Marceau 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
his father didn't father him when he was a kid.... he isn't about to start doing it now... he has to let go of the mythology of parenting and accept the reality...
being a christian is not a prmise of not suffering....
being a christian does not exclude him from being depressed.
i would ask is he disappointed with his efforts or with the results of his efforts? is he working in a particular field that he thought he could make a difference.... is he praying for a particular person and nothing is happening? what is it that disappoints him?
intelligent people tend to be generally lacking in excitement of life when reality sets in... the reality is that quite often bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people and it really is unfair... but that is life...
it is easier to think there is something physicaly wrong than to believe that he is depressed.
honestly what does he mean by 'doing god's work'?
if doing god's work means impressing what he thinks is god's will on others then he is setting himself up for a big fall.... people are just not that conveniently obedient... he has to understand that he has not one jot of power in this world over other people... and the best person to do god's work is god.....
if he feels the advice of others is because of lacking in understanding then he is setting himself up to not receive help when and how it is offered... in otherwords he is isolating himself... this is depressive behaviour.. (I know I am expert at this when depressed)
he has to let go of the past.... including a lack of fathering... and his break up... and move right along....
Alcoholics Anonymous has used the Serenity Prayer for many years.... it is a good prayer for intelligent people....
it goes like this...
God Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I can not change
The courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
it is the best and simplest of prayers and really says it all.... if we can accept the things that are outside our control, like other people's choices, decisions and actions....
have courage to change what we can change which is basically our own choices, decisions and actions....
and be wise about knowing which things we can change andwhich things we cant change life does get better.....
disappointment
lack of excitement in life
fluctuating concentration levels
thinking about unchangeable past events
frustration
isolating self
are all symptoms of depression....
seperation is a kind of little death and sets in motion the grieving process.... it is the death of a relationship... depression is a natural and normal part of the grieving process..
if he really wants some fathering he can and should father himself... work out what it is he missed out on... not just the generalised idea of my dad wasnt there for me... but in detail what did he miss out on... get himto write it down..
things like
no male role model
no blokey events and learning
no advice about girls when I needed it..
no fatherly hugs
once he writes down exactly what it is he thinks he missed out on then he can set about getting those things in another way...
fill the gap....
for instance he can reach out to one or two men in his community who he sees as fatherly and learn from them... watch them... ask them for advice when he needs it..
he can join some groups in his community that have strong male members try Lions Club or Rotary or Toastmasters
Join a local fishing club, darts comp, or footy team...
in other words he can get the fathering he wants from places and people other than his father...
2006-09-15 12:04:45 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see that he has goals in his life ( relating to doing god's work ), but i must confess that the fact that he suffers from low mood makes me think that it's not what he really needs. I'm sorry 'cos it's clear that e had life path that wasn't easy, And the state (mood) in which he is today is quite logical. I'm studing psychology, and once it helped me to choose the right diredtion in my life. I don't know how he lives, what does he do every day and it's difficult to give him advise. All i can advise is that he should go traveling (if possible), or at least go somewhere new once a week(it can be just new street or new building, but the place he'll visit must be there, where he had never been before. I also advise him not to think about his life endlessly. He should find someone more unhappy than he is himself and make him happy. Oh and if it's not a problem maybe he should try to set new goals.
I can tell him what made me feel better once. Well I was very unhappy and uncontent with my life my parents and everything. But one day i realized that if I want someone to accept me the way I am than the first thing I must do is to accept others the way they are. He must realize that the world that we're living in we created to ascape chaos, but we shouldn't forget that we did it and we can change that. We did it just to make things better but if it didn't help we can change it. And no matter what others say. There's no complete truth, good and each of us must find his own truth and no matter what neighbour or someone else will think about him. It's our life and we live only once.
I hope it will help and if it won't just remember that every human being is in the same condition. We'll have the same rights. We know nothing but we can do anything to discover the truth.
Good luck!
2006-09-15 06:20:37 · answer #2 · answered by chuncho_ts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to go for long walks and enjoy walks, the trees, the birds, the sky, the air on his face, all the simple things in life that most of us never stop to notice.Good Luck and God Bless ya! Marceau you asked me who I was and I tried to answer you but, your mail in yahoo answers is not activated, so you can't recieve e-mails from anyone. When you get this fixed let me know. E-mail me and ask me anything you want. I will try to answer as honest as I can. Ok. God Bless You!
2006-09-17 13:01:24 · answer #3 · answered by SecretUser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually every one wants to be God, since that is impossible, men chose the next best, He became the image of God. We humans have only this world to live in this form. Let us make Our lives a happy and wonderful experience. Let us all cooperate and depend on one another without religion leading us into being at loggerheads. as about God, He is way beyond Our limited grasp, or our brain, created by God ,enjoy your communion with God, but let us not be fooled by preachers and prophets who say that they know the desires and likings of God, and who in turn fleece us of worldly health which they preach against. We have only ourselves to blame for getting into the trap of people who divide us in the name of God, geological position,sex, or skin color
2006-09-15 06:00:45 · answer #4 · answered by joey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it must be he that wants a change. The neatest thing about all of us is that we can change the past. He must see that and understand it. And again, it must be him that wants things to be better. Today is the result of yesterday. Change today and yesterday changes. Much work is involved and most of it must be done by him. Ain't it cool to be human? Results never exceed the effort!!!!!! Namaste'
2006-09-15 05:54:30 · answer #5 · answered by namasterwc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
questionaires dont mean anything, all the ones ive done say i am suffering from major depression when all ive got is dysthymia
2006-09-15 06:21:55 · answer #6 · answered by savesdworldfromevilyellocanaries 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋