can any1 help?

Question

Been feelin a little, bored & inferior recently & the only thing I feel might make me better is world domination! I was wondering if any1 could offer any help, support or advice? I was thinking prehaps I may need to starts small like with a cult and work my way up. Experianced answers are welcome, but not neccesary!

Answer 1

Start a cult where people have to pay a percentage of their wages to the church then you can use the money first for new wardrobe and hair do, then a few parties (sorry recruitment drives), then you can work on the weapons IE. booze etc. eventually you can take over the world.

Answer 2

Simple!

Here we go:

1) Start saying that you, and you alone, have all the answers to life and God and all that stuff.

2) Ask people if they want to achieve fame and wealth, by becoming part of the religion that is revolutionising the world!

3) When some people sign up, fill their heads with utter bullshit, but work out what you are going to say first! I suggest "There is a reason people feel said and depressed, it is because there are spirits in real, physical war in the supernatural world for our souls!' then you can say that they should burn incense or something because it strengthens their 'peace-spirit' - they burn some incense, it smells good, they feel a little better and voila! They believe you!

4) They are your first cult members. You get them to convert the ones near them... tell them to go after friends rather than family (you say it helps the family-bond spirit, it gets them to talk to the like-minded)

5) Build up a following.

6) Do whatever the hell you want! The world is yours!

7) Abuse your power sp much that you get arrested by the FBI, interpol, the police, the national guard, and the Japanese Autonomous Self Defense Force all at once, that is how criminal you are.

8) Get tried and go to jail forever.

Answer 3

I once started a small cult. It's incredibly simple! Just ask people if they want to join, promising them nothing except poverty and an unnecessary and untimely death! It was quite incredible how many of my friends signed up, thinking it was a joke, but for 6 months they bought me drinks, and did everything I asked, so the joke was on them! Give it a try! I too am trying for world domination, and have yet to find the one thing that I need, which is a hollowed out volcano to use as my base and lair!
The first rule of world domination is not to let people know that's what you're planning!
Good luck!

P.S. If you are ever faced with a secret agent who has be sent to thwart you, don't waste time with fancy, complicated deaths, just shoot them as soon as you get the chance!

Answer 4

Well many cult leaders of the past have used sex as part of the process, but I think they've all been male. Now, it's well known that men will do pretty much anything to get laid, so I'm seeing an opening for a female sex cult leader here.

You could recruit teenage boys to start with, getting them to do some petty theft and burglary to keep you in the manner to which you'd like to become accostomed - and when a boy does good, the Graceful Mother should reward him with her physical love. Then you can build up to some big bouncer types to do armed robbery and stuff, before moving on to politicians and army generals trading favours for your attentions.

In fact, I can hardly believe nobody else has tried it yet... maybe I'll get a sex change and set up a rival cult and we can have a big old war in a few years!

Answer 5

remember u only get what u go looking for. these r phases which come and go. desires are the route cause of all problems. start making people around u happy. and u will automatically start dominating the world around u. they will all need u and u will never be left alone. u will never have the time to feel inferior and bored. start with making one living thing happy per day and gradually increase the nos.

Answer 6

Okay, you need some distinguishing physical feature - a scar, facial tic would be good. A large underground lair - I believe there are a lot of decommissioned cold-war bunkers going cheap, and a pet to stroke (white cat is good)
Start practising catch phrases. Start with something simple like 'excellent!' or 'No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!'
The dastardly schemes are more problematic. Stealing nuclear weapons and holding the world to Ransom is a bit old hat. Why not start with something classic, like breeding winged monkeys?
Best of luck

Answer 7

Start with a small village with a hi level of unemployment, chances are most of the inhabitants will be so bored and stupid if you tell them you will give them jobs as your henchmen and promise they will all get paid when you have successfully taken over the world you will have a small army which is a good start, but be carefull their duties do not coincide with the Jeremy kyle show as you may encounter a few slackers.

Answer 8

search "101 things to do when i take over the world" some fantastic tips for starting out in there, or the book "Stewie's Guide to World Domination" and also if it all goes belly up i suggest "the complete zombie survival handbook" by Mel Brooks. hope this is a start and remember me when u are at the very top!!

Answer 9

You sound like that mouse off Pinky and The Brain. ha

You could always write to and ask GW Bush for help, tips and guidance.

And if you start off small, may I recommend you invade your living room first; capture the tv remote.

Then build yourself up to taking your local council office, the Isle of Man, shetlands, then go global. The USofA, then Venus, Saturn, Pluto (though remember thats not a planet anymore!)

Answer 10

You could start by dating some one inferior to you that way you could bully him or her to the point where they are nothing without you then leave them. You would be like a god to them and if you get good at it you could build your self an army of love slaves to help you take over the world.