I'm 5 months pregnant, I got married 1 month ago, I also moved to Germany 11 days ago to be with my husband (army wife). I know it sounds childish but I'm so scared NO PETRIFIED, about being a good wife and about becoming a mum and being a good mum but i cant bring myself to talk to my husband about how i feel, the words "i'm scared" just wont come out ! he knows theres something wrong but when he asks i just dismiss it and say its just hormones! what do i do ?? any advise from mums or army wives or both would be great.
2006-09-14 21:12:00 · 12 answers · asked by Sam D 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Oh, Sam... You've going through so much at the moment, it's no wonder your scared! Being pregnant alone was enough to give me the heebie-jeebies, let alone having got married and moving to another country! But you must talk to your husband - he's supposed to be your best friend. You must also seek help from any Army support that's on offer - there may be a Mother and Baby group you could join where you could meet other army mums. Don't be alone in this - you'll find friends who can help you through it. And in a few months you'll look back and laugh! Congratulations and the very best of luck!
2006-09-14 21:17:01 · answer #1 · answered by Roxy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hiya
It is natural for you to be scared and you need to sit down an tell your husband how you are feeling.
Another good idea is to speak to the other wives around you, some may have set up coffee groups etc, get their support.
At your check ups or when you see midwife etc ask about English support groups for new mums, that is the best thing as u are all in it together and can help eachother through it.
As for being a good wife, u already are!! u married him and left ur home to be with him, what more can anyone ask of u! be urself as that is the person he fell in love with and keep talking to him!
Dont be afraid to talk to your husband and dont be scared of meeting new people who can help u.
Good luck honey and i really hope u find ur feet, soon u will be holding ur beautiful baby in ur arms and everything else will fade into the background!
x
2006-09-14 21:35:23 · answer #2 · answered by hellllooooo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder what you think it means to be a good wife and mother ,why you are scared is because you have an unreasonable expectation of your job. was your mother not their or was she perfect? All I can say is ,all you really need to do is love your husband ,care about him and think about his needs and if he is a good one he will think of yours ,as for the baby ,they bring their own love with them ,it will be fine!Army men need you to be loving when they are home and self reliant when they are gone ,this you will learn, if you don't feel you can talk to your husband ,don't ,when you are able the words will come .part of the problem will be the strange ness of moving to a new country ,hang in there you will be fine ,find a support group for army women in your area they are great.
2006-09-14 22:07:15 · answer #3 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to share your feelings or our husband will feel pushed out.!!
have you got a midwife? talk to her she is the best person, you are not the first and you wont be the last young mum to be worried or scared, she will give you all the advice you need and maybe put you in touch with some other young mums.
i had my first child at 20, my second at 26 and i would still do it again and again, its not as bad as people make out, dont be scared. you need to relax and the best way to do that is to talk to him, you will feel that a great weight is lifted from your shouilders. you dont need to say your scared just say you are a little concerned, ask him to share his feeelings with you first.
good luck i'm sure that given a little time things will work out and you will both make wonderful parents.
2006-09-14 21:47:25 · answer #4 · answered by Fallen Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOT childish at all!! You're newly married, pregnant, in a strange country, in a new home, getting to know new people and new doctors...I think you're very strong! It's not childish to feel scared given all these new challenges you're facing...but you really need to share it with your husband. Chances are he's a bit scared too, because he is also newly married, soon-to-be-dad, strange country, etc. Share with him and the two of you can be supportive of each other thru this. CONGRATULATIONS! I wish you all the best in your marriage and the new baby
2006-09-14 21:19:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with being scared about pregnancy, child birth, parenting or being a good wife. You should always be open with your husband and he should be willing to listen. A marriage is about 2 people, not just one. The fact that he asks you what is wrong means he cares about you and your feeling which is a good sign. Good luck.
2006-09-14 21:18:02 · answer #6 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All women feel this way when they are pregnant. Part of why you feel so upset is that you are away from your family and familiar surroundings. That makes the usual hormonal turbulence of pregnancy much worse. Your husband, if he's like most expectant fathers, would probably greater appreciate hearing from you that you need him, that the pregnancy isn't all your affair only. Talk with him and let him start taking care of his baby, and you, right now
2006-09-14 21:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do not stress yourself over this...you have done so much in a short space of time my love...give yourself a break.
Believe me motherhood is the greatest..It really does come naturally you will feel immense love for the babe without even having to try...honest.
Your sound like a fish out of water at the mo..out of your comfort zone...talk to your hubby or phone your mum or a friend back home.
My best advice tho talk to your husband he is really the ony one as well as yourself mind, that can reassure you....you'll be fine love....
2006-09-15 00:55:11 · answer #8 · answered by EMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its only just dawning on you, the huge responsibility you're having to face. Calm down. Don't be scared. If you're happy with your husband and you love eachother, you'll make great mum and dad. Good luck to you, and congratulations.
2006-09-14 21:24:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
aw i know how you feel,after living with my mum and dad till i was 30 and then moving to eastbourne( ok so not so far away as germany),i was 4 months pregnant and did'nt know anyone and like you i was really scared,all my friends were miles away and my parents were too,please talk to yor husband he will understand,tell him your scared and you know what i think you will feel better....ALOT BETTER!!!!!!,im not in the army or my husband,but i have two daughters one aged 8 and 9 months old e-mail me if you want to chat!!!!!!x
2006-09-14 22:56:17 · answer #10 · answered by sunnyjomassey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋