How did you learn to stand up for your rights?

Question

....in organizational settings...

Answer 1

this is such a great question, because I think so often people are intimidated into complacency. Because in most situations like this you have people that want to bully you into their thinking and the reality is, they are not smarter than you, they are not better than you, they are just louder than you. I spent so much time holding back in HOA meetings, PTA meetings, other social type meetings and I was a VP of Engineering for a really big company! I just assumed that because everyone was taking the floor they had more to offer than me. But they were bullies and bloody friggin idiots! You'll find I think that once you get your voice and speak you'll have a whole bastion of people that relate to YOU and are so thankful that you were the one to present it. It may not happen quickly, but what's the worst that can happen? I'll tell you, the worst is that everyone will all the sudden think you're THE BOMB and you'll soon be doing the jobs of ten people. Which may or may not work for you, but don't be bullied, look yourself in the mirror and realize that really we're all just the same people with the same insecurities and the same stupid weirdnesses, just some people don't care that they flaunt their stupidity..... and I'm not going to make a presidential joke here

Answer 2

Hey Mind-go,

In any situation where you have one set of rules and others seem to have their own agenda, things can go awry very quickly.

I have found that the easiest way to avoid this is to simply ask them what it is they think they are doing. My favorite way is to simply ask "Is there a different memo that you are going with for this meeting?" "I must not have gotten it." Typically they will be kind of flustered and ask Why? Explain to them that you both could get more done by working together on the same problem as opposed to working against each other. You have put them on notice that you think that they are adversarial and will probably do things differently during the next meeting.

If this fails, go above both of you and state your objections to that person. They will be ultimately responsible for the project going forth as planned and will reign in any problem children.

It has worked for me and I hope it works for you!

James in San Diego

Answer 3

Start small, by learning to not give an immediate answer when people ask you to do things you don't want to do. Eventually you will learn to make your needs a priority.