Shouldn't he want to be with me whether we are married or not? I just don't think it is fair--why should I have the right to marry, when there are many people who do not have the same right to marry their lovers?
2006-09-14 19:33:22 · 29 answers · asked by retorik75 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he should want to be with you married or not. it's only a ring and a piece of paper anyway. i also think gays and lesbians should be allowed to marry too.
2006-09-14 19:35:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
You would think so. This is a huge debate. My boyfriend was affraid of marriage and I loved him. I was willing to stay with him because I loved him and it is hard to find a good person to be with. We self distructed anyway. He had too many problems and that appeared anyway. Perhaps you have just given your man the ultamate test and you were not meant to be either. This whole thing is so complicated should marriage be a religious thing and should there be a life partener legal thing?
I do not know. After 2 years I am glad my man did not want to marry me because he was not the good person I thought he was. He has some huge problems that I did not see until recently. I am glad that I did not marry him. Marriage is a huge deal. Perhaps you just found out you have different values or have someone who does not love you. Look at it that way. This may really mean something essential if he did this. You may have meant something other than this if you tested him like this.
Only you know the true meaning of all of this. It may take you time to figure all this out or you may figure it out right away. It might destory you or heal your relationship with him. It might really mean something. Only you and he know the signigigance of this, but whatever it is. This is really big.
That is just my humble opinion.
My situation is different my BF did not want to get married because he has a fear of marriage. He was married before and had a bad divorce. It gave me time to figure out that he is not a good catch and who he really is.
He always told me I do not know him. He was right. It took me almost 2 years to see his really bad side. I do not want to marry him he is not a nice person. To think it takes so long to understand that.
Funny Brad Pitt and Angelina have put off their wedding for the future because gay people cannot marry. This is an interesting stand point.
I think there is more to this for you perhaps. I get a thumbs down for just talking about my life again. Oh well. Life is life.
2006-09-15 02:41:29 · answer #2 · answered by adobeprincess 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is pathetic!!! That is the lamest excuse I have heard for not marrying. Forget about the gay and straight people. Marry him! Those gay people make marriage their own problem when they decide to partake in the immoralit of homosexuality! How can you deem this natural??? God designed men to marry WOMAN! and that is legal, so what the freak is your problem??? Dont make other people's problem your fiance's problem! Don't be so selfish! You are a rebel for the wrong cause. He loves you, so marry him! Yoiu don't want to grow old and be alone!
Any gay people out there, save it. I don't need to hear about discrimination. I know I shouldn't judge, but homosexuality is wrong. Too few people are willing to say it now days. It's almost classified as normal! Screw that! I am against it all. Call me a rebel. This is my cause. And if you have a problem with this message, read the Bible.... They used to kill gay people for being involved in homosexuality!
2006-09-15 02:47:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're being a bit too romantic with your view of the world. Look around you, we don't exactly live in a world of solidarity. In life, it's pretty much each man for his own. You can't defend everyone's rights out there and by not getting married, you aren't changing the world in any significant way. You're only messing up your own life. For your views to work, EVERY couple in the U.S. would have to decide not to marry and also there would have to be a lot of protesting and shouting in the streets for the laws to change. This isn't going to happen anytime soon. Live your life as best you can and try to help others as much as you can. But this kind of stuff isn't going to get you anywhere. If I were your fiancee, I would think that you were using this as some kind of excuse not to marry him. Is this maybe the case but you just haven't faced your feelings yet?
2006-09-15 03:39:45 · answer #4 · answered by SaraG 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should do whatever you feel is right, but do you really think that refusing to marry will have any impact on the authorities who make these decisions? No. If a film star makes that kind of statement, it gets publicity so may make a difference, but nobody is going to notice little old you.
Having said that, I wonder if you really wanted to marry, or if that is just an excuse. Maybe it's just as well you didn't go ahead with it.
2006-09-15 02:41:06 · answer #5 · answered by Kylie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You fiance broke up with you because you do not love him enough to be married and spend your life together.
You are making a stand and he might believe what your saying but he is not going to wait for something that might not happen for 1, 5, 10, 50 or more years. You made a life choice of not getting married. Your fiance could not do.
Unless you change you are going to be single and wishing you had someone in a retirement villa.
2006-09-15 02:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you were truely in love with your fiance' you certainly would not marry him just for this reason.
There has to be something more to it -- sounds like a pretty lousy excuse for not getting married, what is the real story here ?
And while I agree - its a crummy situation that all people are not allowed to marry -- you are not proving any point by refusing your own happiness.
2006-09-15 02:38:04 · answer #7 · answered by mama 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
im really haveing a problem wondering what gays are really thinking when it comes to marriage. Are they in denial that they are same sex?? I mean the whole reason for marriage is religion. Marriage is a sanctity between a man and a woman,,an offering to god. If your not a christian ,jewish , catholic or other religion of the same belief why even bother. I mean what, two guys gonna want a preacher of the word of god the same word that preaches against being gay or sexually active before marriage(which all gay peaple are. no pun intended)and want him to marry them before god in gods own house?
I mean come on thats kinda slappin the tiger in the face dont you think.No wonder std's are higher among gay peaple they are trying to desicrate something god meant not to be desicrated.We will be lucky if he dont get mad and flood us all out again and decide to start all over again. He did it once you know they have found actual proof of that.
2006-09-15 02:52:30 · answer #8 · answered by macx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is about two people not all others,gay or otherwise,,i would leave too if you said that to me,,it says the two of you cannot move on and the relationship cant achieve marital stability,which,lets face it,is supposed to be the icing on the cake of the relationship,no marriage means no commitment and if your partner wants all the trimmings and you are fighting other peoples fight without considering the only one that matters,im not surprised he is pissed at you. dont let him slip through your fingers if you do intend to marry him at some point,,by the time all have the right to wed,he may have done it already,,just not to you.
2006-09-15 06:49:55 · answer #9 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made your choice and he made his.
You certainly have the right to your own opinion, this IS America.
But he has the right to his as well and now he is gone. Better to find out now how he feels about such things than to marry and learn later.
It is wrong for you to expect him to agree with everything you think. Just as it would be wrong for him to expect you to change and agree with him all the time. He obviously did not share your sentiment, and now you have to live with that.
I suspect there was another reason you didn't want to marry him. Search your heart to learn if I am right.
2006-09-15 02:50:55 · answer #10 · answered by Johnny B Goode 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think all ppl regardless of what their sexual orientation is have a right to do as they please when it comes to marriage.....But honestly don't you think you went a little overboard by saying you weren't gonna get married till all gays and lesbians can....I mean I could understand waiting if it was for better job or waiting till you got moved in or something but really basising your getting married or not on something that you really can't take complete control over come on.....you should really rethink this.....
2006-09-15 02:49:54 · answer #11 · answered by Lissa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋