We're together already six yrs. We married because of baby. My husband is a man of boring and no surprise.
When we fall in love aft 5yrs, i already love another guy who younger than me 3 yrs, i know that guy and me are Imposibble cuz he also have a long-term relationship already, but we love each other.
Then, i'm initiative of give up to contact him, because i was tired for the ralationship like this. On the moment, i thinking about break up with my bf (my husband now), but i didn't because i hadn't chance to mention that... after few months, i'm pregnant.
So we married, he married with me for our baby, for me, for our future. but i just for my baby.
During we married i'm very unhappy, my husband treats me very well, but... i really dun know what to do... because before married i dun love him anymore...
And now that guy break up with his gf and look for me, asked me together with him...
Who can guide me...
2006-09-14 19:24:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You say your happy than you say your bored and confused? Get counseling and tell this man the past is just that the past and look into your future.
2006-09-14 19:28:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you're in love with this other guy and not just infatuated with him? It sounds to me like you've built this other guy up in your head to be some sort of white knight. Even if you do run off with him, the relationship might not last, then you will have broken up your family for nothing.
Be thankful that your husband treats you well and try to work on building up that relationship to be something better. If you took all the energy you're using pining away over this other guy and redirected it into your marriage, it might have a better shot of surviving.
Don't mean to be harsh, but it just sounds like you're not giving your husband much of a chance, that's all. Good luck, I hope you make the right decision. Jus remember to think about the long term, and not only your immediate happiness.
2006-09-15 02:33:33 · answer #2 · answered by the_fatmanwalksalone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody have the right to ask you what to do. You are the only one who know the best which step you need to take. Sometimes things appear to be perfect at the other side a first but maybe few years later, its appear not as perfect as we think. If I were you, if my husband treat me good... I will just stay with him and forget the other guy. Because after married for so many years and got cheated by my husband, I come to understand that LOVE are not forever. Human will change....
2006-09-15 02:35:54 · answer #3 · answered by rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, what i can say is that u should tell ur husband about how u feel towards him and your marriage. Honesty is the best policy. Love can never be forced. And in ur case, where u are in love with that other guy, and that guy actually gives up his relationship juz to be with u, that's what i call sacrifice. But there's risk that u must take. U should be thinking about ur child too. His future and whether the other guy is willing to take up the responsibility as a step father of the child if in the event both of u decide to marry. Think wisely ok dear. All the best in ur future!
2006-09-15 02:32:36 · answer #4 · answered by nursha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar experience as you. I was married to my hubby 2.5 yrs ago due to practical reasons, not for love. Just needed a family man to take care of me. 2 mths after getting married, I wanted to annull our marriage but by then I realised I was pregnant. Then I left this issue aside, thinking that after the child is born, I may love him more. Unfortunately, that didn't turn out the way I expected.
As time passes, I began to feel disgusted living with him. Can't even stand the sight of him. No doubt he has been fulfilling his role as a father and husband.
Met another guy few mths back, 6 YEARS younger than me. Madly in love. He too left his girlfriend becoz of me. He's girlfriend even confronted me. But in the end, they splited up.
I've told my hubby about gettin a divorce. He asked me to reconsider if there's anyway we can salvage the marriage. I'm lost and confused too.
But I believe the split up is inevitable. It's painful to live with someone you don't love. I find that it's not worth putting up with all these just for the sake of the child. The child will also sense that mummy & daddy are not genuinely in love and that the family, even though looks complete on the surface, it's actually hollow with no substance.
I guess my mind's made up. Just tryin to figure out on how to tie up the loose ends. What about you?
2006-09-15 07:47:56 · answer #5 · answered by LerYee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anybody here can really help you to solve your problems but we can only provide advice to you based on our understanding on your question. I felt that your marriage is alreaady a mistake in the first place. To me I feel that if you married with your husband bcoz of the kid, you are not being fair to your husband but you are trying to find a father for the kid.
This type of marriage will never last long coz as time goes by both of you will start to fight over minor issue, especially if the other guy had asked you to be together with him again. You have to think carefully on your future before you made your decision and it will have the least effect on your kid. Think it over carefully.
All the best to you
2006-09-15 07:02:28 · answer #6 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are willing to risk your marriage and the welfare of your child to go off with some guy that you never had a relationship with in the first place? That seems a little risky dont you think. Look, if you are not happy you need to work it out with your husband, go to counseling, whatever. The first mistake you made was marrying him just because of the child. That is not only devious it is just deceitful.
2006-09-15 02:30:45 · answer #7 · answered by Natty137 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a person brought up in India, I'll advise you to stick up with your Husband. Just notice one fact, The person with whom you are planning to start afresh has left his g/f.(the reason is unknown or may be you know only his side). Your husband may be Boring And very much predictable, but he knows his duties. The Best would be make your Friend , A Family Friend. & No sexual relations please! Add spice to your Married Life by taking initiatives And Surprising him(your husband)
2006-09-15 02:39:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure its love between you and that other guy? If it is, why on the first place you are not having his baby? Why thinking of cheating now?
Maybe it is just excitement you are looking, since, as you said, your husband is boring and no surprise. Now, what will happen if you have you all the excitement you want and decided that he too is boring and yadaydayaya?
Maybe, its time for you to think of ways to spice up your marriage than to 'spice up' ur life...
2006-09-15 02:51:43 · answer #9 · answered by Jasmine Ird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you. Are you really that unhappy? Search your soul, I think you probably really do love your husband but he is not giving you what you want right now. My guess is that you think the other guy is. I suggest if possible that you speak with a councellor, try the samaritins if you cannot afford a private council. Best of luck :-)
2006-09-15 02:31:28 · answer #10 · answered by awitchy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make up your mind what you want out of life. If you do not love your husband, leave him.
But dont cheat on him no matter how bad it is, especially with someone you really care about -- and I say this because you dont want to build a relationship started with lies, and if you ever did start a relationship with the new guy -- you dont want him to think well you cheated on your husband with me ? what is stopping you from cheating with someone else. ....Its all about trust.
you have to finish one thing before you move on to the other.
2006-09-15 02:30:08 · answer #11 · answered by mama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋