so now were divorced, what can i do to make the hurting go away?
2006-09-14 19:11:38 · 14 answers · asked by againstallodds 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is very sad that she was unfaithful in your absence. Some women are emotionally weak and if they don't have a strong moral conviction to lead an honest moral life they will fall to temptation. Some women need constant reassurance, a character flaw.
You might not want to hear this, but the best thing you can do is feel bad for her that she was so weak and forgive her because I am sure she is ashamed of herself. Harboring resentment against her will eat at you like a cancer and make you miserable.
If you can find the strength to forgive her and let it go you will feel so much better. That will do more to mend the hurt than hating her, or trying to replace her with another woman.
2006-09-14 19:35:09 · answer #1 · answered by Johnny B Goode 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing will take the hurt away except your acceptance of the situation and rising above it and most of all, forgiving her and moving on. You are hurting because you think about what she did all the time and picture her in bed with that man and the pain starts all over again. Let it go, and learn to live without her. Maybe you still love her, if so then you should consider talking to her and sorting the problem out... The fact that she cheated means that there was something lacking in your relationship and that she turned to someone else to provide it. Divorce is not always the solution to a marital problem.Her cheating hurt your pride among other things, but sometimes you must swallow your pride.. else you may end up being miserable forever.
2006-09-15 02:19:58 · answer #2 · answered by fareen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well realize that she was one woman. Realize that we are not all like that. Go to counselling. Spend time with your friends. Realize that being in the millitary is a big stress. Realize that once you are out you will have an easier time at relationships. Work on yourself, your interests, spend time on yourself and improving yourself for your self. Just focus on friends and being with people. Adjust to being back. The best way to get back at her is to forget her and to have a good life.
It is hard, but this happens to many of us. There are tons of loyal good women just take your time and get to know people before you get involved. Do not get married again too quickly. Get to know a persons character first.
I hope you feel better soon. I know that must have been so hard being in the millitary. I cannot imagine how hard and to have someone back here not being good to you would be even harder. Thank you for serving our country. Just be good to you and get back to your life. There are better people to love.
2006-09-15 04:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by adobeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is utterly terrible, but take solace in the knowledge that if she was the type of person to do such a thing, especially while you are away (serving you country?), she did not deserve you, and you should be glad to be rid of her. In my case, I would probably drink way too much.
2006-09-15 02:17:53 · answer #4 · answered by Jean Chretien 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi again, You need to start going out with your friends.Enjoy their company, and do things with them,like maybe playing golf,or bowling.What ever you like to do.This will keep you busy, and your mind of your divorce. It will take time,but you will get through it okay.
Clowmy
2006-09-15 02:19:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just love all men and women who are protecting me and my family, she is not worth your pain.
You will never make it go away, but soon you will see it as a thing of the past. Just think of this, she was not made for you. God has some one you deserve ready for you. Just wait.
2006-09-15 02:20:07 · answer #6 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
where do you live, maybe i can find you a new girl :) pray, some people dont know a good thing until it is gone....each day will get better...i know what hurt feels like....im hurting now...my husband wants a divorce...as much as i want him to stay...we dont have the power to make people behave a certain way...love yourself and invest in people who love you....
2006-09-15 02:17:51 · answer #7 · answered by peace1274 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your ex wife didn't deserve you to begin with, your way better off.keep your self busy go out and have a good time now your available to meet Mrs wright. what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger and wiser.
2006-09-15 02:31:44 · answer #8 · answered by "love" 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time man....I hear you...
Look at it this way .she couldn't hold on to her covenant with you.....you are better off now that 5 years down the road with ,child support and alamony..she did you a favor ..find a woman who will care for you and be a good wife..........but take time to know her.........
2006-09-15 02:16:27 · answer #9 · answered by cesare214 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to look at it this way my friend all women arent like that be very glad you came back to the states . as far as her dont judge all women as she was find a good woman who has morals aperantely se lacked them as well copaqssion as to what you was going throught serveing your country . you lost nothing by the way welcome back . ?
2006-09-15 02:24:21 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋