How do I ask her dad to marry her?

Question

My girlfriend and I of nearly 4 ½ years are getting engaged, and I want to ask her father for her hand in marriage. I know him pretty well, as she and I have grown up together - we both turned 18 a couple weeks ago. I just want to do this right, as it’s a once in a lifetime event. I was wondering if you all had any idea’s on were I should ask him (without her knowing about it) - and that possibly gives him a heads up as to what is going on. I would hate to catch him off guard, though I seriously doubt I will. How should I tell him? I don’t want it to seem like I’m asking for his permission, as we are both adults - but I want him to know that I respect him and his blessing matters. However, no matter what he says, I will be marrying her. How should I word it? Please don’t say ‘I want to marry your daughter’, cause that doesn’t help. Anyone who’s been in this situation before, please, help me out! Even if you haven’t, I could use the advice!

we have been together since we were kids, so please don't say that we shouldn't get married. we know what we are doing with our life, as well as who we are. we know that we are better together rather then apart.

IN RESPONSE to Diva's Questions

I currently live in a nice apparment, & pay for maintenence and utilities
I have a car and pay my insurance
I am nearly finished Trade School (electrition)
I was at my previous job for over a year and made 17$ and hour, I recently switched jobs for better health insurance for us and am now making 21$.
I have health insurance through my job, and am able to pay for my wifes deductible
we are both STRONG practicing christians, have gone to the same church since we were born, as will our future kids
she will stay home with the kids - something she has always wanted to do
we make enough money for bills AS WELL as savings
I'll handle finiances - her choice, as she dislikes working with money
we are both homebodies, but have friends that support us
neither one of us have been arrested, smoke or do drugs
and we always talk things out calmly, listen and compromise, and never stay angry - people hate us cause we while fight holding hands

Answer 1

HI!

if you have known each other since you were kids...ask him in 10-15 years....you are tooo young!!!

Answer 2

OK, this is from a women to you. And yes, I am going to say what you told me not to. "Mr. So and so, I would like to ask for your daughters hand in marriage." Simple, blunt, to the point and it is very respectful. Just because you are an Adult, doesn't mean you shouldn't ask 'permission' to marry the daughter. Remember, you are marring the family as well. But, be sure you are in a setting you are comfy with. IE do it over food. And after all is said and done, just politly ask the father not to mention this at all to the daughter, as you want it to be a surprise.

If you can't be direct with what you want, maybe you should rethink marriage.

Hope it helped.

Answer 3

Well you can email him from overseas like someone I know did and ask him while you are asking his daugher and say you are asking his permission, but you are going to do it anyway.

or you can say what you said here which sounds good.
but I want him to know that I respect him and his blessing matters. However, no matter what he says, I will be marrying her.


It sounds like you are ambiovalent. You are young really young, so you need to think about this. You want to ask him, but you do not care what he says.

You have to work out this inner struggle. You are really young that is not on your side. You are not even drinking age yet. Not quite a real adult.

Answer 4

OK EVERYONE -
read this before you post something about being too young, will you?

I met this man the day we were born, he was put in the crib next to mine, our parents discovered we lived minutes apart, and from that moment on, were joined-to-the-hip; instant best friends. Always at each others houses, always on the phone, always together - people use to make fun of us and tell us we were going to get married one day, and we would deny it, saying we were 'just friends'. Both of us were homeschooled, so we were constantly doing schoolwork together at our houses, and going on feild trips sitting side my side in our mothers mini-vans. I've had poor health all my life, and when I was 10, I was in the hospital...for like, the 20th time. Whenever I was there, he would be worried sick and insist on seeing me, so my parents would tell nurses he was my brother, because he was too young to visit me otherwise. He told me when we were alone in the room that he was going to take care of me the rest of our lives, because I was his best friend and he never wanted to loose me, he kissed me on the forehead, and whispered that he loved me. We planned our weddings out at 12, I was going to be his best woman, and him, my man of honor. We were going to move into a duplex house, and if our signifigant others didn't like it, then they weren't the ones for us. We stayed 'just friends' for another year, at which point things began to change noticably. I had had a crush on him for what seemed like forever, but was too afraid to tell him, because he was my best friend. So I kept quiet, and watched as other girls flirted with him and my heart broke. But whenever I would ask him if he liked any of them, he would always tell me no. One night, we went to a play together, and we held hands without realizing it...I started to wonder...could he maybe like me back? But I was too afraid to ask him, so I kept waiting and waiting for him to bring it up, and say that he meant in just a friendship way. However, a week later, he called me up as usual at night for our 3 hour long conversation (our parents gave us our own phone lines, just so we would stop tying up theirs), and told me that he had something important to tell me, and when he was finished, he was going to hang up the phone and call me back in an half hour. Immediatly, my heart started to pound...I hoped it was what I thought it was, but feared that it was that he had decided to go out with another girl. He admitted that he had fallen in love with me and hung up. I was overjoyed to the point were I ran around the house laughing hysterically and doing cartwheels, my parents thinking I was nuts. When he called me up, we discussed - very anlytically, may I ad - getting together, and decided to follow our hearts in the matter. We always talked about marriage and having kids after that point. We had our first kiss a couple months later on top of a ferris wheel, had our first make-out not too long after that, lol. He proposed to me at 14 in a love letter (we have over 400 inbetween both of us in a 4 1/2 year span), gave me a diamond ring at 16, and a few weeks after we turned 18, have decided to go ahead and make our engagement public. If that makes us immature, then so be it. But you have no idea what stuff we've been through, so don't call us 'too young.

Thats all.

Answer 5

no i havent happley single as for your question just ask him after you are married ok . my opion?