I have never refused her in fifteen years and have always been faithful . Maybe a taste of her own medicine ? I realize this may not be a good idea since I want more sex from her . How would you feel ?
2006-09-14 17:42:58 · 31 answers · asked by jsjmlj 5 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
don't refuse her im sure you want to give it to her your a guy after all
2006-09-14 23:26:27 · answer #1 · answered by pisceslady a 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I guess the question is why is she refusing sex? If you have been together for at least 15 years you should be able to talk about it. Maybe she really IS tired or maybe she does not feel sexy. She could even have problems where sex hurts. If she refuses a lot and it is consistent you could recommend counseling to spice up your relationship. Sometimes trying something different can be fun. Do you always do the same thing in the same order? This can be boring. Do something romantic. Put rose petals on the bed and light candles and put on sexy music. Feed her chocolate dipped strawberries and champagne while you share a sensual bubble bath. If you want her to put out then you have to make her want to. Close the shades (get a babysitter for the night if needed. they should not be home) and romp around the house in different places.
OTHER IDEAS:
-Clean the house in the nude.
-Make her dinner but only wear an apron.
-Send her flowers and a naughty note: not too
naughty for work though.
GOOD LUCK
2006-09-14 18:02:41 · answer #2 · answered by emma5280 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
From person experience it is a no win situation. Although it is attractive to think that denying sex will "teach" her a lesson so that she knows how it feels to be rejected and therefore may be more receptive later - that idea just does not work in reality. It is more likely to make her angry and upset.
We are always told that love is the most powerful force in the universe and perhaps it would work in this case. Do something special for her every week. Every time she rejects you direct that energy in thinking about how to love and treat her better in the future. If there is one thing that will change the "sex" equation it is love not rejection.
Good luck and perhaps I will listen to my own advice as well.
2006-09-15 16:09:34 · answer #3 · answered by LivingDownSouth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this posts multiple times, i'm having tech difficulties with yahoo.
I feel that sex is not just for you to experience. It is also not just for your wife to experience. It is something to share. So, if you do not feel that your body is comfortable having sex, then sharing open communication about this in a non-defensive (non defense raising either) manner with a lot of gentleness and well, love.
Keeping count of occaisions might not be the most productive strategy. While keeping count might justify something to you, from an emotional perspective, she might not understand and could feel differently, even defensively. Keeping score isn't communicating, its playing "i'm right so ha!" which...isn't very conductive to a partnership..
Also, there are other forms of physical intimacy you might be willing to share with her and her with you, such as caressing, intimate massages, mutual masterbation, holding hands while relaxing to calming music, a bath for two (or more if you are poly) etc that don't have to lead to sex if one of you isn't comfortable having sex at a certain time.
Effective (read: the right) Communication is the most important
I hope this has helped at least a little.
best of luck! ^_~
2006-09-15 08:42:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two wrongs do not make a right and sex is really not a mechanical sport. Maybe she was just not in the mood, and I feel that is not a relfection of how she feels about you. Women take more time than men to get caught up in the moment. If she has had a bad day with work, kids, life, etc. maybe she would like to talk first to get out all those pent up emotions. Most of the time women just wanted to feel loved and cherished, then the sex part of the relationship improves.
2006-09-14 20:03:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You would get more sex from her AND release those feelings of resentment if you chose to talk to her, and tell her that you're pissed.
Tell her you still want her and find her desirable, BUT you've been rejected so many times that you feel bitter and angry towards her, so much so that you fantasize about childish retaliation.
Then let her know that you realized that wouldn't help bring you two closer, so you thought you'd give her the opportunity to discuss why she feels it's okay to reject you for so long and expect no hurt feelings.
2006-09-14 17:55:52 · answer #6 · answered by lucy_shy8000 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Men do not deal with the same issues, and we think about it 24/7. You better keep the magic alive and take it when it is available, don't try things - anything that will bring contention into your marriage just to even the score.
Too much like a teenager man.
2006-09-15 02:49:27 · answer #7 · answered by longrunfool 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow..that's a loaded question dude. She sounds terrible selfish and you may want to talk to her. Well another thing that can help is offer her oral sex for a long time and that will get her going...women are not instantly sexual like men are. So i think you might want to talk to her and tell her that it's not fair but ...if you want it..you will pleasure her so that she can really get into it.
2006-09-15 07:14:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's just gotten too "slam, bam, thank you maam' for her. Maybe you both need to show each other a little love and respect - go a little further to please each other. Maybe you all need a counselor before you get really locked into this sort of putting up with instead of give and take marriage thing you got going. It's a shame to die alone with your mate right there!
2006-09-14 17:56:30 · answer #9 · answered by Skeff 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
go ahead and bang the **** out of her. if you refuse now she'll probably end up ******' the UPS man. so take up the offer and bang her like a screen door during a tornado.
2006-09-14 17:46:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
its usually more hurtful to the woman, when a woman turns it down its more so a form of control or just a "headache" (lol) but when a man does it it feels like rejection, makes one feel insecure not healthy but a good dose of payback
2006-09-14 17:44:13 · answer #11 · answered by cvegas229 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋