Can some one please explain why I should let my 12 year old son who continually speaks to his parents in a matter that unacceptable in any standard of society go to his friends house and hang out.
2006-09-14 17:41:48 · 18 answers · asked by aouija 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
put a tape in his mouth and take him
2006-09-14 17:43:17 · answer #1 · answered by yogesh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps i am no expert, but i really believe that your child must learn to speak properly. It is a reflection of his parents that he will be presenting to the world. I would not let him out of the house until he chooses to mind his manners. Every inappropriate answer from him must be corrected with the appropriate answer and a punishment should folow if he chooses not to follow the cue. After all, he will be an older teen before too long and will get absolutely no where in life if he continues to speaks inappropriately. No punk ever gets far if you get my drift. I wouldn't allow an ill-speaking child out of my sight. Figure out what he likes the most and use those things as your arsenal--- take things away for mis-conduct. Let him know that he will not go and hang anywhere with anyone until he learns some control over his tongue. Inform him that you, as the adult and parent, will not tolerate rudeness and he won't see anybody until he can curtail his behavior. After losing enough priveleges and freedom, he will see the light. The most important thing is to stick to your guns and deal with the fits that will occur. Be consistent with the discipline. You are the adult and should never allow a child to rule you and create a potentially embarrasing situation for you.
I hope this has helped. Please don't lay me out if you don't feel it has not. This is my first time on this site and i've dealt with some difficult kids in my time. Your son's attitude will not change overnight, but you may see some results in a few weeks if you are firm, but kind.
well, that is my offering-- good luck :)
Othello
2006-09-15 01:11:18 · answer #2 · answered by mina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no, and tell him something like this.
If I can't trust you to behave properly here, when you are in front of me...what makes you think I will trust you when you are out of my sight, at some other house? God knows what you will say, you have a filthy mouth, you are disrespectful. I just know you'll embarass me. I'm not letting you go out in public without me until you stop acting like a wild animal and start showing me you are mature enough to at least speak to other people in a civil manner.
by the way, you can't say that to the kid, then go screaming insults at everyone in the house and cussing all day in front of the kid. Not lecturing, but the other people in the house also have to model respectful decent behavior or it just messes up the kids head.
2006-09-15 00:50:23 · answer #3 · answered by Daisy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you have to do is talk to your son heart to heart meaning no SHOUTING no SLAPPING nor HURTING and explain to him that it is not nice to speak your parents like that especially if someone is around because you will be criticized by your parents with that kind of attitude. Tell him that "You should stay home and do your homework etc"..."You MUST follow my rules and regulation here in my house until you reach your proper age to go with your own life"... Just talk to him in a nice way and things will be fine... Just trust me it will work ;o)
2006-09-15 01:20:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't let him goes off after doing something wrong. you have to punish him for his wrongdoings. for example, you can ground him.
at this age, you should start reasoning with him, start to treat like an adult (give him some responsiblities), talk to him why he's wrong.
always remind him that he's already 12, and you expect him to be more understanding. let him know how you feel when he speaks in unacceptable manner. i was 12 y.o boy, and i really appreciate my parents when they treated me like an adult during those days! (although, not 100% like an adult)
he's already 12, do you expect you can control him when he's 16? it's gonna be difficult to control him sooner or later. you should check on his friends too. maybe they are influencing him to be like that. peer pressure is very strong during that age.
2006-09-15 04:02:16 · answer #5 · answered by immortal1983 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i have some words of wisdom for you. try whatever you have to do to get control of your son now. because soon enough he will be taller then you,stronger then you. and then where will you be? i have had this problem also and i have learned from my mistakes by letting them just go because i was tired from work,a single parent,had health problems and suffered from depression and anxiety and it was easier to give in then for me to buck up and deal with them i have two boys. and i was put through hell. they were (are) bipolar and had depression themselves had problems at school and then the system failed me. sorry this isn't about me. just saying get a firm hold now before its to late. before he starts cutting school,drugs or who knows what. maybe get him involved with sports or a group of some sort. but if he continues to talk to you like that take his privileges away and do not allow him to do what he wants make him earn the right to do things. its not a given for kids to do anything they want it needs to be earned. by cursing at you he may be trying to get attention. because then when he does this he has all eyes on him. good luck to you and stay strong do what i couldn't do and you will be happy you did down the road.
2006-09-15 00:55:44 · answer #6 · answered by lnay69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you can't teach an old dog new ticks. teach them while they are young like you do with a puppy. it will work out better for you in the end.
A note for your son- Your mother brought you into this world and raised you the best she could. Once you have discovered the world isn't about you, who will you run to then?
2006-09-15 00:44:46 · answer #7 · answered by shirahen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he talks to you with no respect, he should be punished in some way. he shouldn't expect to behave in that manner and still have privileges that he enjoys. even at my age, i could never be disrespectful to my father (my mother passed away) and think that i'm not going to have to make a dentist appointment the next day! lol! i have three sisters. we all know that there is a line that we do not cross with our father. we may be grown women, but we are still my father's children and he deserves respect. you need to put that into your son's head.
2006-09-15 00:50:59 · answer #8 · answered by luvmuzik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as many will get to out of hand, its the upbringing and enviroment that creats the way a child acts as they get older. i've seen parents who lose control actually call the police and let them take them for a night or so in jail to let them know what will happen if they keep acting up. most times it works.
2006-09-15 00:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by hollywood71@verizon.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until he can conduct himself in a respectable manner and learn self-control, he stays under the close supervision of Mom and Dad. Privilages are earned not granted.
2006-09-15 00:44:35 · answer #10 · answered by lizardmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This begs the question...how did parents that didnt like the manner of speech let it continue for this long? My guess is it didnt happen over night.
My suggestion...start back at square one. you trained him to understand that it would be tolerated, and you trained your selves to allow it. Now its time to stop YOUR behavior and model BETTER behavior to him.
2006-09-15 00:48:27 · answer #11 · answered by L C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋