2006-09-14 17:36:07 · 25 answers · asked by 5324 2 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Words are like a tool. you can either use them to build somebody up or to tear them down. Unfortunately, some people tear down whomever they are supposed to be protecting. That happened in my case. My aunt used to tell me that I could not do anything right and that I was lazy. Listen, I believed her even though at around age 12 I used to attend school, cook breakfast for the family pretty often, it was not a choice. I used to wash clothes by hand, because I lived in one of the poorest countries. My aunt now is not doing so well, she did not get a higher education. That really makes me sad. On the other hand, I have overcome even her words of defeat and destruction over my life and I am majoring in Business administration.
The point is Yes, negative things can be a curse spoken into your life but with God's help it is possible to overcome evil with good. Like Emma (Who answered this question above), I have become an overachiever and a perfectionist but those things that were said unto me do not affect me anymore.
2006-09-15 14:21:47 · answer #1 · answered by Missy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the things said and done during childhood has lot of impact as the child grows into an adult. All the things learnt or heard influence the child so much that their real personality emerges from those childhood things. Hence parents should be very very careful while bringing up a child.
2006-09-14 17:55:18 · answer #2 · answered by haritha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think negative things said to you as a child affect you more than being beaten! The scars of a whipping will heal and are easily forgotten. The scars from negative words from a parent stays in your heart and mind forever. Some will be able to live a normal life and maybe forget. Some will be affected forever.
2006-09-14 17:49:43 · answer #3 · answered by Zeta 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Not only the things said to me, but also the positive things that weren't said to me. My parents were good parents. They had a full plate with 3 kids and full time jobs and I know they did their best. I always knew I was loved, but, I cannot recall ever being told I was smart. Or beautiful. Or funny. Or couragous. And when you have kids at school who tell you you're ugly, stupid, fat, and worthless, then return home and don't hear otherwise, it builds up. I find it very hard to take compliments and I rarely trust anyone who does compliment me on anything. I think it is because subconsciouly I feel I am what those kids would call me, and anything else someone says is a lie. So automatically, if someone says I'm pretty, I suspect they're trying to lift me up just to push me down.
2006-09-14 21:00:46 · answer #4 · answered by drnotwhoyouthinkiam 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very definately yes which is why you should think before you say something stupid to young children. The truth is not always the best thing to tell them but nor are out-right lies and what seems like a joke to an adult is probably a complete mystery to a young child who more often than not believes that the people he trusts actually know what they are talking about.
2006-09-14 18:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by witterwax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely, your self image and personality are formed during the early part of your life. It can be very difficult to heal from the wounds of childhood. A new study by Florida State University researchers has found that people who were verbally abused as children grow up to be self-critical adults prone to depression and anxiety.
2006-09-14 20:59:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I do, and it was wrong on their part. But I do not blame anyone for the choices I make now that I am an adult despite the negativity I've had to put up with.
2006-09-15 04:58:00 · answer #7 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I grew up with a mother that verbally abused me. She told me that I was lazy, stupid, fat, ugly and that I should give up and work in a factory get married to some schmuk and have kids. When I was in junior high I believed her. I became anorexic because I thought I was fat and I did not want to be fat. I also studied really hard so that I would not be stupid and always was in sports or clubs so I would not be lazy. When I was good at something she would make me quit. I had very low self-esteem but my goal in life was to prove her wrong. I talked to my dad about her and he thought that she was jealous of me because no matter what she did I always seemed to find a way to succeed.
I have younger siblings and felt that it was up to me to be a good role model for them. I did not let my mom hurt them as she did to me. If she said something hurtful to them I would say ten nice things about them and made them tell me their goals and I helped them chart out how to achieve them. I even moved back home when I attended college because my mom was attacking my siblings so much. My sister wanted to commit suicide so I put my goals aside to help the younger children. I could not be any more proud of them either. My youngest sibling is in high school and is doing well. One of my brothers works at a university and the other will begin college next year. My sister who wanted to commit suicide is doing well in college and will transfer next year to a four-year institution. I on the other hand will finish my degree next year. I cannot wait to finish because I will feel successful. I do not live my life out in spite any more. I have learned that I am smart and cute. I am by no means skinny but I am working towards just being healthy. As for working in a factory, there is nothing wrong with that but I am a social person and that would not be the job for me. I am currently a stylist (make people look good) but will soon also be a teacher. I want to take my life experiences and help others. There was a quote in the movie Renaissance Man: Great people transcend through adverse conditions. I do not know if I am great but I do know that I am a person who still has a lot to do and nothing will stand between my goals and me.
I do not live with my parents anymore and have a better relationship with them. Sometimes I wondered if my mom had a mental illness or if she was just carrying emotional baggage from her childhood. Her dad was not father of the year and she had to take on a lot of responsibility at a young age as well. Maybe I can cope better than she can. One time as I was leaving during an argument I did remind her that I did control what nursing home she would be put in when she got old. She had nothing more to say and has been nicer since. She does not yell at the younger two who are still living at home very often. I guess either old age has mellowed her out or she still remembers my words of wisdom. lol. I win. woot!
2006-09-14 18:49:49 · answer #8 · answered by emma5280 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even if I said the answer was no there would be some argument that everyone is affected by childhood experiences. What is said to me no longer affects me.
2006-09-14 17:40:13 · answer #9 · answered by NONAME 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It did for a long time until i older and realized that,Either i can go ahead and live my life the way i should,or let what they said haunt me the rest of my life. I did tell them how i felt about what they was saying and for me it help me to stop blaming them for what they did.We have that choice and it is up to us to get over it and move on.I chose to move on.Maybe you should do the same.What also helped me,and i don't know if you are a believer in God and i don't want to offend you,but sincerely praying Him and asking Him to forgive them and to please take away the hurt,the hate and the pain of what they helped do to me,because after becoming an adult,they are not the ones who has the responsibility for my life.
2006-09-14 18:00:00 · answer #10 · answered by Willnotlietoyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋