My friend just moved in together with her on and off again boyfriend. Her family and friends was kind of against it but, she still moved in with her boyfriend. When a couple moves in with one another do they face more diffculties than married couple do?
2006-09-14 17:25:44 · 30 answers · asked by sandysweet 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So when couples move in together they are interested about the other person's living habits: cleanliness, order, sleeping patterns, bills, food/cooking skills, daily living, etc....A lot of that stuff you can talk about and take small trips together or stay over at eachother's house. Moving in is a really big commitment even if it's not considered as final and serious as marriage. And all of those things that you want to learn by moving in don't compare as much to the bigger fish you have to fry. Some of the reasons for divorce is living together before marriage, affairs,etc. People move in together for the primary reason of seeing the person "behind the scenes". Marriage is made up of so much more than if you can or have the compatibility to "live with the person" or put up with them. It goes much deeper. A very large number of couples fail to get their focus off whether or not their man will fail or succeed at putting the toilet seat up or cook them dinner or take out the trash and all those smaller issues. Instead of looking at what really matters like whether or not they want children, whether or not they both have a religion, who will pay bills, their sex life, their expectations on what kind of marriage they both want, their future goals in life, who will work or stay at home....and the list goes on. I personally prefer to stay with my boyfriend on the weekends instead of moving in and not having a place to stay if it doesn't work out. I don't want to move in and either end up getting married years down the road or possibly never. And why would you want to live together? I think that if you have great communication you don't necessarily have to live with the person to know them. You just have to ask them those things that you would "supposedly learn" by living with them. I would rather save that for marriage. It's bad enough that almost nothing is sacred in marriage anymore including sex. Living together can usually cause more problems than solve the questions you have.
2006-09-14 17:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you said it. With her on and off boyfriend. Perhaps this was a good thing in her case because perhaps they will get in a fight and not get married. This is on and off so it is probably a very bad relationship anyway. This will probably ruin the relationship which is good in this case. No point in marrying someone it does not work with.
Is it a problem for people to move in together? No it just brings reality to the head immediately. Is it a problem to marry to fast because you just want to have sex? Yeah because marriage is a serious thing. It is not an excuse to have sex.
Marriage is a sacrament one should only do it once. Take your time and court. Do not just marry and divoce so you can have sex. That is bad.
What really is worse. Marriage is a sacrament a commitment. Should people get married so they can hump without sin? Then break a commitment?
How about waiting and learning about eachother?
2006-09-14 22:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by adobeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving in has it's advantages and disadvantages just like every situation. Moving in before marriage is like testing the water. It can help you communicate better and see how it's like living w/someone. If you learned to deal with one another it may help build your relationship before marriage. One bad thing about living together is...many people really don't see what the pt is getting marry once you lived together already. Moving in together or not every couples goes through difficult time. If a couple can work together to overcome their obstacle(s) than it's a sign that they truly love one another and that they are willing to do whatever it take for love....
2006-09-14 19:26:15 · answer #3 · answered by uniqaznmeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, I think it is a good thing, When living together you two will learn things about each other. You may like or dislike the person more and more. I think you will face less problems moving in before marriage. Once you are married it is really hard to get out of it, this is very easy.
2006-09-14 17:28:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without the commitment of marriage there is not the security and bonding needed for a couple to truly be a "Couple". Living together is too free and easy and does not foster respect for each other.
The divorce rate is much higher for those who live together before marriage.
Take that into account before moving that furniture.
2006-09-14 18:59:29 · answer #5 · answered by Johnny B Goode 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, no, moving together is becoming a common occurrence in our society nowadays. Moving together has both pros and cons: One pro is that they could be closer to their partner than before while one con is that despite being closer to said partner, they could find out how much they get annoyed when they live together. This affects different couples when they are living together, so opinions will vary.
However, the likelihood of them divorcing if ever they get married is higher than couples who don't move in together. At least that's what reports say.
2006-09-14 17:34:28 · answer #6 · answered by jamnkick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend and I live together, we have lived together for almost 13 years.
We have the same problems that most married couples face. I don't think we have more or different, because the only difference between us living together and us being married is that we don't have a piece of paper saying that we belong together.
2006-09-14 17:50:13 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now a days bf and gf living together isn't taboo. I know that some families have beliefs that they shouldn't do that but she has to live for herself and be happy. Well I also believe as live in boyfriend and girlfriend they will get to see if they can actually stand each other for long periods. The beauty of it is that they are not tied to each other and if things don't work out each can go their separate ways. It is a lot easier than getting divorced.
2006-09-14 17:36:44 · answer #8 · answered by muffin007 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
legally it is not wrong. morally is up to the individual and their belief system. if it were up to me i would make it a law that you had to live together for 2 years before you could apply for a marriage license. the old saying "you never know someone until you have lived with them" is very true. people should not get married until they really know each other. the only advantage that i see in marriage is social security benefits. if the couple is not married the children nor the surviving partner qualify for benefits.
2006-09-14 18:08:41 · answer #9 · answered by handyman5218 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way couples should live together for a long time before they get married. At least a year to see if they are compatible under the same roof.
2006-09-14 17:27:39 · answer #10 · answered by sublimemaniac34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋