I email and talk to a coworker on a daily basis. He is coming to a work meeting we are having in two weeks. He wants to go our to dinner, but I do not know if I should. I know I do not want to have a sexual encounter with him. The connection we have is more emotional than anything else. I have mentioned this guy to my husband and I told him I talk to him regularly and that he was going to be in town. Should I not go to dinner with this guy?? And more than anything is this cheating??? Feeling that sense of closeness with someone you hardly know??? How can that be??
2006-09-14 16:33:11 · 24 answers · asked by estrella 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you're asking yourself "geez, should i go?", then i think you should not go. the doubt is there in your mind already. if there is a connection with this person then you're headed for tricky territory. going to the dinner would only be putting yourself into a situation that could quite easily get out of hand. it could lead to one of those "i dont know how this all started" moments.
is this cheating? ask yourself this...how would i view this if my husband was emotionally involved with another woman? how would i react? how would i view that situation?
probably not as innocently.
are you and your husband close? have you been married for a while? you mentioned that you told your husband about it. how did he react? how did you want him to react? i know that it is very flattering to have someone other than your husband find you interesting. it feels good. but acting on that can lead down a very slippery slope.
good luck. (dont go) :-)
2006-09-14 17:12:40 · answer #1 · answered by hol_girl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say that you do not want a sexual encounter but when you are with this man and bonding emotionally - what is the next step? As an adult it's sex. And, if you plan to stay with your husband you should not go to dinner with this man and should probably pull back the communication with this guy too. It can only go one way here and it sounds like someone is going to get hurt. Yes, if you're emotionally available and you are - you can be emotionally attached.
Only you know if it's cheating, swap shoes with your hubby - if he were carrying on the same "relationship" that you are how would you feel? It would hurt you or you wouldn't be asking.
I say you should absolutely NOT put yourself in a situation with this man unless you are ready to respect your husband and let him go OR bring your husband with you!
2006-09-14 16:39:55 · answer #2 · answered by girlysledgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, you may be using the word emotion strongly. This guy/co worker is showing you attention and you have a common bond with work. That is it. It makes you feel good at the time, he compliments you, etc. You may admire his knowledge of your business and even complain to each other about it, to where a spouse may not understand it. You think it is a "closeness", but it is business and common interests. Think about who will be there for you in the long run and who has been. Not the what if's with some co-worker. As far as it being cheating, that depends on how far you let anything go. Fantasy is human nature, but to ACT on something that is manifested by common interest is obviously cheating. Think about it...fantasies are MUCH better than the actual act. I have been there and done that route. If you love your spouse stay away. Find a graceful excuse.
2006-09-14 16:46:52 · answer #3 · answered by naughty_mattress_monkey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually you should not be allowing another man in your relationship at all.This is still a form of cheating on your part.Would you want your husband doing this with another woman everyday?This can cause problems.Never let a stranger come between you and your husband.You are one not three.And I don't feel it would be a smart thing to go out to dinner with him if your already having some emotional feelings about him.And the daily converstations only make it worse,dump the emails.Let him move on and put all that energy into your husband and making your marriage that exciting.Good Luck!!
2006-09-14 16:40:40 · answer #4 · answered by endigogirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all - as a woman you should recognize that everything we crave is linked to our emotions. My advice to you is to stop doing what you are doing RIGHT AWAY because it WILL lead you up a pathway that you do not want to end up on. Yes you are cheating on your spouse even though you have not engaged in any physical contact with this person - thoughts of him are consuming your mind and where he has taken up residence in your mind and in your heart is the exact place where your husband should be - you are obviously not getting what you need as far as emotional pampering and communication with your husband because if you were this would NOT be an issue - take it from one who has been there - let it go - do some praying and ask God to forgive you for emotional adultery - and ask him to show you how to put forth a little more effort in trying to achieve getting what you need from your husband
2006-09-14 16:40:35 · answer #5 · answered by 2deep4u 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How far have you gone in your daily communication? If you think that you are "emotionally connected" with him, then you are more likely treading now on the edges of hot water. Remember, passion is emotion. This is a prelude to marital trouble. Since your husband knows about him, invite your coworker to dine with you and your husband and let "connection" remain as is, merely a coworker.
Hope this helps.
2006-09-14 17:48:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would work on your marriage. There is something missing emotinally there. That's why you have gotten attatched to this guy. I would stop communicating with him and turn to your husband. Get close to him again and talk to him about how you're feeling. Even if this guy insist on going to dinner, I wouldn't go. It could lead to something physical. Think back to when you and your husband weren't married and just dating. You were emotionally close to him at first, right? Then it became physical. The same thing will happen to you and this co-worker if you don't stop it now.
2006-09-14 16:42:26 · answer #7 · answered by babyg1rl007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of coarse you can be emotionally attatched to someone other than your husband...it is called a friend. But if it goes too far then it is just wrong. You asked if you should have supper with this friend and would it be cheating...I would advise against it if you think that both yourself and he cannot keep it on a friend-only basis. Sounds like maybe keeping a safe distance is the best thing for you. Proceed with caution. Best of luck.
2006-09-14 16:38:58 · answer #8 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Professor thinks that you have made a big mistake by opening up your feelings to your co-worker. You are sharing intimacy which is the pre-cursor to a sexual relationship. The Professor says, "GET OUT" of that friendship ASAP!!!! And no, you don't promote and extend it by going to dinner. You are emotionally cheating on your husband. IMHO.
2006-09-14 16:39:47 · answer #9 · answered by Professor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-30 23:34:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋