Should I tell my cousins secret?

Question

A few months ago I thought I was pregnant and I asked my cousin what to do because I was scared to go to any one else in my family, and I knew my cousin would keep quiet about it but she didnt apparently because yesterday morning when I was talking to my aunt she goes " Angelique why didnt you say anything about you being pregnant?" I couldnt even talk for a moment I was so pissed that my cousin told that I was pregnant (which was a false alarm!), I called my cousin later that day and she had a nerve to tell me that I shouldnt have come to her if I wanted to keep it a secret. I am thinking of paying her back by telling my family that a few years back she had not 1 , but 2 abortions, I found this out one night while I was house sitting for her, and "stumbled" upon an old journal she kept, it would serve her right if everyone knew the dirt on her

Answer 1

I would ask your cousin if it was ok to tell everyone about her 2 abortions since all the secrets were coming out. Wait for her reaction and never tell her how you know. Just walk away. Touche....

Answer 2

Do you want to live your life acting on spite, or do you want to be a good person with values, who respects the concept of trust? You should always do the right thing regardless of what other people do. If you tell her secret then that proves you are just as untrustworthy as her. There is no justification for immoral behavior, least of all revenge. Revenge is when a person lets anger control their behavior and shape their values. A good person bases their behavior on more virtuous values like forgiveness and being a better person than their enemies.

As to your particular situation, maybe it would have made more sense to confide in an older adult (like your mom) who could be supportive of you and be mature enough not to tell anyone. The life lesson here is that people talk, and big secrets are often passed around to interested parties against your wishes. And for the record, you violated her privacy first by reading her diary and learning her secrets against her wishes. Telling someone else would be going another step further into your own sin. Her telling your secret is your karmic payback. You're even.

A true secret is something you keep to yourself. Once you let the cat out of the bag, it's really beyond your control.

And incidentally, it's no secret that condoms prevent pregnancy. Thought I'd let you know. Pass it on to your cousin too.

Answer 3

You shouldn't be afraid of how your cousin will react. If she cares about you, she'll understand and support your efforts to work on your phobia/anxiety issues. Just bring it up naturally. And if you don't feel comfortable telling her, then don't. I find it's scary when I first share sensitive things about myself to the people I love/care about. In the end, I usually find that they (a) already knew or (b) have been in the same position- so either way I feel less alone. Whatever you do- Good Luck.

Answer 4

two wrongs don't make a right...BUT if it was me I would just happen to let it slip to another family member who has a really big mouth. But that is because I am a bi**h. My mom is the baby of 13 kids. I have 67 cousins. And I can't help but think of one of my cousins in particular reading your question. no matter what i do, or how nice i am to her she just kept trying to make trouble for me. And I wasn't stupid I didn't tell her personal stuff. but some how she always knew everything that every one in our family did. and at every chance she got she would continuously put me down or tell a personal bit of information to my mom or as i got older..to my husband. then one day. I was shopping at a baby clothing store. I had just found out that I was pregnant with my first child, and i had decided to surprise my husband with a onees that said " daddy's angel" and a pair of baby booties. now she has no kids so I have no idea why she was there, but she saw me, I told her not to say anything because no one knew yet. I stopped at one more store then went home. when i got home she was at my house, and my husband was pissed because i told her before him. well a couple of months later she did something that she shouldn't have ...so i let it slip.....it must have taught her a lesson because she hasn't did anything to anybody in our family since....and yes, revenge is sweet.

Answer 5

You should be the bigger person and feel good knowing that you are! It is hard, I'm sure you just want to strangle her but don't do it. You should also consider that she didn't go to you with her secret - you "stumbled" upon it. Which isn't right either.

You want to hurt her right now but spilling her secrets could really, really hurt her! And you do not want to do that. Just walk away from the situation - no real harm done here. You're not pregnant.

Answer 6

Just because you rifled your cousins house doesn't mean you should share the info.Sounds like you need to go your own way and let your cousin live her life separately from yours.Tell all the family whats in her medicine cabinet I'm sure you dug through that as well. How about her under ware drawer.What's in there?

Answer 7

The right answer would be that two wrongs dont make a right but if i was in the same situation i dont know if i could help but tell someone. Maybe you should tell someone that has no connection with your cousin so then you get it off your chest and feel better but it doesnt get spread throughout the family.

Answer 8

Kind of a selfish person aren't you? You willingly disclosed your secret to her. She broke your trust. But you already paid her back when you went snooping into her personal diary and read her private thoughts without permission. Sounds like Karma just gave you a swift kick in the seat of your pants. You stole her secret, so she gave yours away. I would count the score even and let it go before things get really ugly and really out of control.

Answer 9

Abortion is not the answer,...and if you are engaging in activity that is putting you at risk for pregnancy...please use protection....to prevent sexually transmitted diseases...and pregnancy...where you won't have to make a decision that will affect you for the rest of your life.......It is best not to retaliate....with the negative choices your cousin has made....,you don't want to fuel a fire...and create a negative war.....I imagine she has guilt for her choices ....and brought yours up ...because of her own feelings.....to take the spotlight off of her.....If you bad mouth her....it will only bring you and her both down......The best thing you and her can do is use protection and make better choices.....,You have a long road ahead of you.....;)

Answer 10

greetings...I'm sorry to here the results of your pregnancy were negative.(if you were planning to become). but honestly how would you really feel about exposing her secret? it sounds like you two are close in someway, especially if you felt comfortable enough to confide in her. she may have spilled the beans out of concern for your health and well being. when you confronted her about telling on you her response to you was panic. you sound like a nice person. i say that because if you weren't, you wouldn't be out here asking for advice, you would have done retaliated. remember the old saying.."two wrongs don't make a right".
good luck