HE MAKES ALMOST 5g"S A MONTH AND HE HAS 5 KIDS THAT HE PAYS CHILD SUPPORT. I SAW WHAT COMES OUT. AND ITS A **** LOAD BUT I CHECK HIS ACCT AND ITS NEGATIVE AFTER I PULL IT OUT FOR THE BILLS. I ASKED TO VIEW HIS ACCT BUT HE'S STALLING ON GIVING IT TO ME BY SAYING HE DOESN'T KNOW HIS ONLINE PIN. I SAID, CALL THE BANK AND HE SAYS, HE CAN'T GET A OUTSIDE LINE OUT EACH TIME I ASK HIM. I JUST WANT TO SAFEGUARD MYSELF FROM BEING IN SHOCK EACH TIME I GO TO THE ATM TO PAY DA RENT AND ITS NOT ENUFF 4 DA RENT OR NEGATIVE. I ASKED HIM IF WE CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THE BILLS HERE HOW CAN WE PURCHASE OUR WEDDING RINGS, HE SAID WE'LL GO TO THE JP AND WORRY ABOUT IT THEN. SO I'M ASKING FOR ADVICE SHOULD I MARRY HIM STILL OR MOVE ON. I'M CURRENTLY A STUDENT IN SCHOOL AND HE KNEW I DIDN'T HAVE A JOB HOWEVER, I RECEIVE A LITTLE INCOME BUT ITS NOT ENUFF TO PAY THE BILLS WHEN THE ACCT IS ALWAYS SHORT. WHAT WOULD YOU DO. I LOVE HIM AND I STRESS EACH 1ST AND 15TH THINKING DAMN WE GONNA BE PUT OUT AND HE'S AWAY.
2006-09-14 15:47:23 · 15 answers · asked by KeKe M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I see why you are concerned but don't let money be the prohibitor from love. I would recommend that you maintain a separate account from him. And I mean everything separate. More than likely he is only having financial difficulties because as you already said he pays a lot for child support. Times that by five and I can see holes in just about any ones pockets. Hey, at least you can be proud of the fact that, even if he is broke, he is not a dead beat dad because he is paying for his 5 children. About the five children thing, wow that is a lot of kids. I hope you have met all of them and they are fine with the idea of you being in their lives. Still, the only thing that matters here is that you love him. So why would you not marry someone you love? Shouldn't love alone be enough. Just remember keep your finances separate from his. I mean credit cards and everything. Just in case his credit takes a noise dive, which happens when you short on cash, your credit will not be along for the ride. Hope that helps and congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.
2006-09-14 15:58:18 · answer #1 · answered by CNKCKFIL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that all you talk about is money worries me. He is obviously active duty, and that means he's gone a lot. It sounds as if the relationship has little to do with one another and more to do with the bank account. You cannot base a relationship on that. A military marriage is incredibly stressful, even in the best situations, which you do not have. My husband and I have been apart for almost half of our marriage, but we take the time to talk as often as we can, and we talk about everything. We both bring in a good income, and we communicate very well. And yet I am still stressed beyond belief, as is he, because we are apart so much. Not seeing your spouse for a year at a time, honestly, should be the main concern in a military marriage, not if his child support for his five kids is eating into your bill money. You need to have a strong foundation, financially and in your relationship, before you even consider marrying this guy. And if he is pushing you to marry him, there is a problem. If he loves you and you love him, wait until you are financially stable enough to support yourself, so that you don't need his money. If there's still something there, by all means, marry him. But if the situation is as it sounds, you will soon see that there is little else holding up this relationship beyond the prospect of a good income.
2006-09-14 23:05:46 · answer #2 · answered by Megan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A sailor pulling down 5 grand a month? I seriously doubt that any sailor (Chief or Master Chief) in this man's Navy is making 60,000 Dollars a year. Even with sea pay, COLA, hazardous duty, comrats, etc, etc.
His account is probably always short because he isn't making 5 g's and that is one reason he doesn't want you checking out his checking/savings acoounts.
Money issues/problems are the #1 cause of divorce in the USA. If you are having them now, then it won't get any better. Consider this a wake up call. Get out while the getting's good!
2006-09-14 22:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by submariner662 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you'd be asking strangers if you thought you should marry him. You're going to have a lot more worries than how to pay for the rings. You'd better move out and move on. There's way too much baggage here and I've got a feeling you just wanted to hear someone else say what you've been thinking.
2006-09-14 22:58:44 · answer #4 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Short answer: No.
Long answer: He wants to make sure you're still waiting for him when he comes back from his deployment. I know, I was in the military for a number of years and saw this happen all the time. Also, how long have you been dating for? I think you should wait until your finances are stabliized and not jump into a situation you're not prepared for.
Also, keep in mind that military marriages are quite difficult. You're a student and should continue to be one. You will be in for a shock jumping from student to military spouse.
2006-09-14 22:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by Rivrav 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't Marry him. He will be paying child support and alimony. The courts will take it out of his pay each month, Remember a sailor is going to have a girl friend in every port he stops in.
He is hoping you will quit your schooling and go out and get a job so he will have some spending money in each of those ports.
2006-09-14 22:53:01 · answer #6 · answered by greg76991 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask strangers on the yahoo.answers, then it shows that you are having serious doubt about this relationship. I would too, about a man that can't keep track of his bank balance(can't remember his pin number??? Pul-leaze, sister) You need to sock away some money for yourself in case things don't work out for yourself. You're not starting out on this relationship in an honest way.
2006-09-14 23:00:48 · answer #7 · answered by sacredmud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to work out a sound financial arrangement with him before you marry him. Also, you need to discuss other things about your future, such as children, how they will be raised, etc. You also need to understand that it will be you and the kids alone alot of the time because of the requirements of the Navy. You need to be able to accept that without complaining about it. If you can work out the details, and you love him, then marry him.
2006-09-14 22:49:57 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry him while he is in the Navy. The long absenses make a new marriage that much harder. And don't marry him until you are out of school, one of you has to have enough money to pay the bills.
2006-09-14 22:52:03 · answer #9 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm going to be honest here. It sounds like you just want him to support you, it doesn't sound like you are in love with him. I don't think you should marry him, finish school first.
2006-09-14 22:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋