My daughter is 7 and she has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. She is the light of my life. I've gone to extraordinary lengths to provide her with 4 years of intensive early intervention and she is doing really well. She's gone from very low functioning to very high functioning. My ex (her father) was abusive to me (physically, mentally and actually raped me once when we were not together). My daughter did not witness any of the abuse, but the dynamic in the home was not stable when he was around. I've been on my own for 4 years now and we are really happy. He has promised to be consistant with child support agreement we have (through the atty. general in Texas), but has never been able to sustain his end of the deal. He has no job and an underage girlfriend. I finally made the decision to cut him out of our lives for good this last year when he became violent on a visit.He's been emailing that I am evil for not allowing visitation currently. I want to make the best choice. help?
2006-09-14 15:14:38 · 11 answers · asked by psychmajor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you dont already have a restraining order or custody....get it... let the court decide wither he should see her or not...if he does decide to file for custody and try his hardest to look like a goodie two shoes to the court house he may very well win it on the fact that you held his daughter from him....because your both the parents and if you dont have custody then you both need to try your hardest to work together on this...if he does hold her way from you then thats a plus for you because it makes him look bad...always try to save as much as the bad shi* he sends does or any thing like it....and if you do have custody...which they would most likely give you...if you have records of his violent behavior then still let them decide when and where they can see eachother...most states dont allow persons, who have had domestic violent behavior, custody and with visitation it has to be supervised....get to work......
2006-09-14 15:37:36 · answer #1 · answered by mytedominatrix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry u have been through u no hwat and back. But the blessed part is Ur back =-)
As far as Ur baby's daddy I think after the horrible things he's did is unforgivable( I know there are people out there that disagree with me and they have they're right, but for the things u said he really needs to be under a jail rotting like the garbage he is)
U have been the one doing for ur child and for that u will be blessed. So u should continue to do so and forget him, he showed u his true ways when he abused and raped u, ur daughter does not need to be exposed to such a person.
But if by a court of law u have to allow him in her life u and someone else should be right there watching him to make sure he's not abusing her.
I really don't put much pass people like him because they have it in them to be the way he is and he really should be watched.
No ur not evil, I don't blame u and I bet other women and men would agree.
U didn't deserve him to treat u the way he did and he's a monster.
U said he has no job and a under age girlfriend, see he's no good and he's never gonna change.
God Bless U, ur child and may u have a wonderful long life with her.
2006-09-14 15:27:26 · answer #2 · answered by itspink22@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not ALLOW him visitation ? You think you are god ? You want child support and if he paid then you would allow visitation ?
Someone should make a secret club and then they trade favors and then they go and #%$@ women like you over.
If you don't want him in her life then don't ask anything from him and get a court order to complete allow you to move away and not have him around. If you care so much for your child you would quit your job and move away never to be seen.
I would never hurt anyone but sometimes I wish that someone could.
You were raped by your husband ? That is so bullshit. If you had ever been raped by a stranger that might kill you afterwards you would then know what true rape is and would not use that word so openly. You may not have wanted to have had sex but to use the word rape is just what women like you do that are not getting child support to get people to feel sorry for them. You are probably a dirty little slut with other guys now or in the past but you say your husband raped you???
Love you daughter and stop using her to punish her father. Your daughter deserves better than the bad father she has and the bad mother you are. When you daughter gets in her teens you will take out you anger on her.
Just joking ... I'm sure you are a great mother. Just wanted to get your blood pumping. If your ex is a bad person then fight him for everything you have in you. Good Luck.
2006-09-14 15:25:34 · answer #3 · answered by CTM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a hard decision to make.
if he hasnt been in her life consistantly for 4 years,then why start puttin him in?
if he has ever been violent with her,NO
if shes seen him be violent then Id say probably no,unless you all go to some sort of counseling so she understands what is going on with him.
if HER doctor thinks she would be worse with her autism if he's around,then definately not,if you fear for you and or her,then get legal help to prevent him from seeing her and YOU!
Its always a hard decision to make,to see or not to see the dad,I know,I have an ex baby daddy LOL
my daughter is 9 and rarely sees my ex,my new hubby,of 4 years is AWESOME with her!
YOU know in your heart what is best for HER,even if it goes against whats best for you,trust YOU! do what you know to be good for her! that is whats right.good luck
2006-09-14 15:23:28 · answer #4 · answered by adc7492 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's violent, you absolutely cannot allow unsupervised visits, ever. The only way you can allow him to visit her is for a state or court appointed social worker to supervise the visits. Not a friend or family member, but a state appointed social worker used to dealing with things like this.
But sounds like it would be best to be able to forget about him...if he cared about her that much, he'd be coming up with some child support.
2006-09-14 15:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by Peachy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience, i am telling you to keep him away for good, you or your daughter deserve to go back down that route, he has his own issues and need to seek help, having a autistic child could possibly set him off one day and he may nut up on your child. you can never trust a man like that, he's a loser and a jerk, its already hard being a parent let alone a abused parent. just know that you don't need him like you think you do, if he's being ignorant away from you just imagine how ignorant he will be while with you.GET A RESTRAINING ORDER NOW! YOU CAN MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN.
2006-09-14 15:28:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing just fine without him, keep up the good work. You already know that he's not good to you or for you and the same goes for your daughter when it comes to him. The decision you made to cut him out of your lives was the smartest thing you could have done.
2006-09-14 15:17:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Contact a lawyer, if you fear for the saftey of both of you get a ROP-restraining order of protection. I understand where you are coming from and how you are feeling. Make no choices and save all of the emails to show the lawyer. Go with your gut cause its always right. Good luck.
2006-09-14 15:18:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep things the way they are now. He is not a stable person, and does not need to be in her life, causing problems. You're doing a good job with your daughter , alone.....keep it that way!
2006-09-14 15:19:36 · answer #9 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My stepsons mom is an on and rancid drug abuser and prostitue. without going right into a extensive tale the suitable concern we ever did replaced into to make useful he did no longer see her anymore. This replaced into because of the way he replaced into dealt with whilst he replaced into along with her by using herself or persons she left him with and nicely because of the fact the psychological and emotional dissatisfied of the letdowns and him no longer coming first in her life as each toddler could. those have been somewhat severe situations and distinctive to yours and you may desire to decide for what's suitable on your daughter. whilst my stepson replaced into youthful if he replaced into dissatisfied he could on occasion say we could took him remote from his mum yet many of the time he understood the justifications why and now (he's sixteen) he's conscious it replaced into the final concern for us to do. reliable luck.
2016-12-12 08:42:44 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋