I've always felt emotionally attracted to women growing up. I'm 28 now. I believe I've been in love with at least 3 women in the past. However, when it comes to men, I can say they're attractive, but I don't get the same emotional connective feelings I do with women. I've never been in love with a man before. However, I have been forcing myself to date men in hopes of maybe "one day" , I'll become connected to a man. Plus, my family is religous and I hear in the back of my mind all the time that being a lesbian is wrong. My theory is that it's not fair. It's not fair to have these emotional feelings toward women and not be able to act on them without society getting wrilled up about it. What do you think I should do?
To me, I believe sexuality is based on emotions rather than being a sexual issue.
2006-09-14 14:09:07 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
your in denial, time to come out of the closet girl
2006-09-14 14:12:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, listen...my family is just like yours when it comes to the whole religious thing. They all believe that being homosexual is such a horrible thing, you know, a "sin". That's actually what I was raised to believe. I was feeling the same EXACT way as you for the past 5 years of my life, until 2 days ago...I finally came out to my mother! Although she is the religious type, she reassured me that she would always love me unconditionally no matter what because no real christian would disown a member of their family (especially their own child) because they were that way. Being gay/lesbian isn't something we choose. It's something that comes along naturally because of our hormones and sometimes because of the special connection we have with another person, whether they be male or female, and whether anyone begs to differ and argue about that comment then so be it. I'm staying right here. Bring it on! LOL -- But no seriously, I hoped I helped even just a little bit to build up some nerve to finally come out to your family. If not,sorry! I tried my best! I wish you the best of luck. :)
2006-09-16 01:39:34 · answer #2 · answered by Kathy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well That's very interesting. Perhaps you are restricting yourself from having a relationship with a man. I believe love is in the heart not emotions, you can't trust your emotions. Give the guy's a chance you will never be fulfilled in a homosexual relationship. There is nothing wrong with being in love with your girl friends but sex was designed for a man and a women in a marriage together.
2006-09-14 21:17:47 · answer #3 · answered by Harley Moma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart and live life to the fullest. You only have so much time, so make the most of it. If you're attracted to women then date women. Just because a bunch of ignorant religious nuts disagree with it doesn't mean you should let their beliefs stop you from being happy. If your family really cares about you they'll support you being true to yourself and finding happiness with someone, no matter what the person's gender is.
2006-09-15 09:26:17 · answer #4 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough position to be in, but you're not alone. I'm sure a number of lesbians, and gays have gone through this same thing.
All I can say is don't live your life by other people's standards. You have to do what you think is best for you. That isn't an easy thing.
My dad's side of the family is religious and they no longer speak to me. But am I happy now that I've come out. Yes. Am I sad that they no longer speak to me, yes.
I think it's a decision that you have to make for yourself. But your relatives can't life your life. And you can't live your life for them.
Hang in there.
2006-09-14 21:17:00 · answer #5 · answered by yikes_its_a_humdinger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are either a Lesbian or you just haven't met the right guy and you are heterosexual.
Why do you have to decide now? Why not just continue to date both genders and see what happens. But if you are not getting involved with a woman because you are waiting for a man, its likely that that man doesn't exist.
You can't live your life for your family, live it for yourself.
2006-09-15 00:06:12 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the feeling, dear. I forced myself to date men for 4 years and try to connect with them. It never happened. I'm happy to be out of the closet now (I'm 21) but each person has to make that decision on his or her own. No one can tell you what to do, you have to sit down and think about what's more important to you-your families approval, or your own happiness. And when you're ready, the answer will come.
2006-09-14 21:14:34 · answer #7 · answered by Agent Double EL 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your last statement! WE have the same problem!Now I prefer to be myself and be happy rather than thinking of the people around me! We are just bypassers here in this world so why spent our time in a miserable and desperate moments! Now I totally express myself here in the internet and found the real people here became my cyber friends that understands who really I am!Choose your life that makes you feel comfortable as long as you won't harm anybody!Good luck to both of us!GOD loves us!
2006-09-14 21:24:01 · answer #8 · answered by Bruno 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just follow your heart...i know its easier said than done. my sister is lesbian and my uncle is trans gender. people may find this hard to deal with at first and you may even lose contact with some of your family, but in the end it is your life and there are alot of people that will respect you for your bravery in being able to be yourself. don't force yourself to be with any one you are not 100% proud to be with and comfortable around. both my family members had a hard time coming to terms with their sexuality, but as you get older and get to know yourself better, hopefully you can come to terms with what you are inside and be proud of yourself and love yourself enough to understand that this is your life and you need to do what feels right in your heart...good luck, if you need some one to talk to that doesn't judge or even know you feel free al_n_phx@hotmail.com
2006-09-14 21:30:25 · answer #9 · answered by alicendra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to accept and be yourself, forcing yourself to be with men when you're not feeling it isn't fair to you or them. Learn to love yourself for who you are and stop worrying about what society saids is right. Good Luck!
2006-09-14 21:27:59 · answer #10 · answered by ~Twisted Sister~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl i totally agree with you on this one.I fought with myself for a very long time,i thought i needed to get married,have a family and be what THEY call normal.But you know what,we are normal. I think from what i read-you are the happiest with women-girl don't be miserable and go out with men just to please other people.Live your life for you! i wish you the best-good luck!
2006-09-14 23:30:00 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋