Problems with Boyfriend / father of our unborn son?

Question

He lives 36 miles from me .&& his truck is always broke . they dont get cell phone service where he lives , so we never talk cept on the weekends hes 18 and a senior im 17 .. I never know what hes doing he always tells me hes coming over .. and he never comes and fridays we hang out with our friends hes always atleast 2 hours late .. I dont know if it would be right to keep our baby .. Right for the baby . in that case not me or him .. I try telling him to fix his truck . Its not going to work with him seeing his child on fridays and saturdays and some of sundays . i dont know what to do i guess i really need some advice

He was also very excited when i told him and he picked out the name i dont think hes having second thoughts or anything i just dont know whats going on

Answer 1

I think it's wise and kind of you to consider giving the baby to adoptive parents. It may be the best thing for everyone. Your bf doesn't seem that devoted or responsible even now, no telling what he'll be like as time goes by.

Answer 2

Your boyfriend does not sound very supporting or mature. If you know you have a son, you are about half-way in the pregnany. It is best to carry the child to terms. Decide what you wish when YOUR son is born. Do you wish to raise him with the help of YOUR family? Or do you feel you should give the baby into a closed or open adoption? It is important that you understand your son is not at fault for his fathers behavior. If you feel the father is a "dud", be strong and be a great mother. You may find a better dad for him when the time comes. Heck, he may have a decent job and a decent vehicle and love you and your soin and be on time and be kind and funny and loving and and and....

Answer 3

Well,hun you have to think very long and hard about this.I personally,cannot tell you to give your child up,or to keep it that has to be a decision made by you.Your boyfriend also needs to be included in that decision,make him aware of what you are thinking.Tell him how you feel about this,and that if things are going to work and you two are going to raise the baby together then that is exactly what needs to happen.Raising the baby TOGETHER.Seeing as how you are pregnant now,the stress isnt helping any so this conversation needs to happen soon.You need to speak to him about how you are feeling that is the only way that it is going to get through to him.You are young,you both are but you can make it work it isnt impossible.If you do decide to keep the baby whether as a single mother or as a couple it isnt impossible,but many do it everyday.Now,i am all for adoption,if you feel that there is absolutely no way you will be able to care for this child you need to put it up for adoption.As i said,that is a decision that has to be made by you and your boyfriend as well as your family.I must say,adoption is a very good thing.They have something that is called an "open adoption".What this means is,simply that you get to be involved with the child through its life.You get to keep contact with pictures,email,phone and in some situations weekly visits.This way the child will know you and you wont be a mystery to the child when he/she grows older.You have a hard decision,especially one to be made at 17 years of age,but think about it before you say anything right away.However,you do need to speak to your boyfriend.Good luck,God bless you,and if you need to talk feel free to email me.

Answer 4

It sounds like there's a lot more to this story than meets the eye. What is your gut telling you about him? Do you trust that his truck really is broken and that all of his excuses for being late or not calling are legitimate? If not, trust your gut.

As for the baby... I don't think your decision should ride on what he does or doesn't do. You have to make the best choice for YOU and the baby.

I don't recommend abortion, but if it is something you're considering, just make sure that you're 100% sure before going through with it so that you don't have any regrets.
Otherwise, if you know you can't keep the baby, consider adoption. Lots of people want babies that can't have them on their own. But you may find that once you get further along in your pregnancy you will want to keep the baby.

Answer 5

I think you need to give him the option to grow up or to detach yourself from him to let him continue is cycled patturn.

This baby will be born before you know it and still can be going in circles.

It isn't fair to the baby nor is it fair to you. He needs to put more effort by getting a job, finishing school and getting plans for you and this baby.

I don't know if you two will work out or not. I don't know you two or anything to give any pre judgment on that.

But I do know this baby will always be tied between you two and you two have to work something out to provide best for this baby. Every friday/sat and some sundays if that isn't enough for this baby.

It isn't enough for you since you will be the one up all night and day. Feeding, changing, bathing this baby. He will miss a whole lot of this baby's life. If he graduates at end of spring, this baby will be in developing stages of infancy going into toddler hood soon. Guess what all he could be missing as well through that time days he missed plus toddler hood.

So, he needs to make a decision on what he is going to do as far as providing for this baby. If he is two hours late and there is no way of communicating with him, then you need to also realize you have a choice in all this.

If you let him take the baby with him for a week to where he lives. Do you realize you would have no phone to check up on how baby is doing?

What about if there is an emergancy or you go into labor and no way to communicate with him?

What if his truck breaks down while having your son with him?

These things might seem far fetched but they are serious questions to think about since never say never.

He could trade in the truck for a better working truck or car. Make small payments, put money up for the baby and you two come to term of what you two will do living wise.

Now, this is just my opinion which can be way different from others. However, you are the one pregnant and not that easy nor good idea to up and move closer to him. Especially if you two "break up". I honestly think he should be able to come closer to you.

I live 68 miles from the college I am attending. I drive down every day and only takes me an hour to get there. If "ok'sh" traffice. Therefore, 36 miles is nothing of a drive.

If you feel adoption is best thing for this baby, you also have to discuss it with him and he has to sign his rights away. He can contest it in court. Able to file to give baby up for adoption, both parties have to sign rights away. There was a case back in 1993 a 2 year old boy was taken from his adopted family since he was a newborn by the bi logical father who just found out he had a son earlier that month.

Answer 6

Legally it is your decision weather to keep the child, abort or put the child up for adoption. If you choose to keep and raise the child, the father is legally responsible to provide child support until the child is 18. And there are lots of single parents who have raised wonderful children and lots of women who make the decision to allow a childless couple the opportunity to provide love and affection and a secure home to unwanted babies.

I hope that for your child's sake you make the right decision. This is a time when guidance from an adult (parent, pastor, relative, etc.) can come in very handy.

Answer 7

You wouldnt be doing the baby any favors by aborting it. If you feel like you would lke to give the baby a better life then you can provide then research adoption. you are sounding a bit immature saying the reason you dont want to have it is because you never know where he is and is always late. Maybe this is a hard situation for him to cope with and he is adjusting. Don't do anything rash. See a conselor if you need to.

Answer 8

i had my now two year old son when i was 15 and i been working and i have been though a year of college all on my own his daddy has seen him maybe 3 hours the whole time he has been here he split when i told him i was pregnant and everyone told me i couldn't do it and i should give him up for adoption or the unthinkable but i kept him and if i would not change it for the world i love him so much there is nothing like your baby crawling on your lap telling you that he loves his mommy don't worry about that guy you can do it

Answer 9

Im 15 and im about to have a baby I though of adoption but I couldnt I love my baby and feeling him kick is amazing. My sons dad is with another girl he was doing to me what your boyfriends doing to you and eventully I found out he was with two other girls getting one of them pregnant I would just tell him he needs to move closer to you and ask him if hes serious about the baby and if not girl get child support and do it alone dont give your baby up because of a jerk a baby is a gift from god.

Answer 10

In my opinion, you need to just go ahead with all of your plans. It sounds to me like somewhere or another, he's not really doing all that he says he is to make sure he's a good father to his son. It's up to him to go that extra mile and do what he needs to do to get to his son (i.e. get his truck fixed and fixed good, make plans to see you and the baby on a regular basis). Just continue to do what you think is right because the baby is not going to hold off until he gets things situated. Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy, God Bless.