My husband called me an idiot just because I called him lazy, is this justified?

Answer 1

It depends. Is he really lazy? Or did he just not do something. Are you really an idiot? Or is this question just idiotic?

Answer 2

This sounds like a conversation my children would have. Maybe the two of you need to stop calling each other names and start discussing what is really bothering you. For example, I wouldn't tell your husband he is lazy if what you really mean is that you'd like him to be more helpful around the house. What you want to say is "I think that too much of the responsibility for the house falls on me and I'd like to talk about how we can divide the chores more fairly." That's not an attack, it's a statement about your feelings and expresses what you want. Do you see what I'm saying? Hope you can find a way to have a more productive conversation.

Answer 3

well, first know that you are not an idiot. he shouldnt have done this because im sure you only said this in his best interest. try to talk to him if you are serious about him being lazy, and encourage him to do something active. don't use a so -called "harsh" word of lazy but go around what your point is. Don't be intimidated and stand firm. Try to be as calm as possible because if you get hostile, it'll only add more oil to the fire. remember, to tell him u love him and only are thinking the best for him. finally, remember, u will catch more bees with honey! hope everything works out!

Answer 4

I am currently reading "Mars and Venus Together Forever". It is by John Gray Ph.D he also wrote "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus".

Anyway, I just read in the first book listed above that women naturally come home and still feel a need to get things done, while men feel like they are on a vacation and simply want to relax.

It's not just that he is being lazy, this is just how men are and unfortunately you are naturally driven to pick up the things that he isn't doing. I haven't read the solution yet but I would recommend both of the books mentioned!

Answer 5

if you are calling him hurtful names, he kind of has a right to give it right back...maybe talk things through, instead of saying he's lazy, try another approach like "i could really use your help with "such & such", because you are so strongor so smart or so good at it...see what i'm saying, then when he does do something you like give him lots of praise. men are just like little kids, they need to know when they have done something well (lots of praise).
when you need something from him tell him you really need him to do whatever because he is so smart and strong etc. even if it'd not entirely true, they need daily reminders of how manly they are..haha...it seems to motivate them and makes them all the more guilty feeling when they are rude or mean to us. but on the other hand if he is not nice alot no matter how you treat him maybe marriage counseling could help,but put it to him in a way where he thinks it more for you, he may be more likely to go along then. in my experience (married four years and gone through just about everything), men are just overgrown kids, pump up thier ego and you can just about get them to do anything for you!! good luck, hope things work out well, just remember females are the stronger sex and there is nothing wrong with alittle sweet manipulation, let him think he is in control...think being the key word here.

Answer 6

I'm sure it is to him. He had no other come-back or defense so he called you a name too. Men do that all the time. But you really shouldn't attack him like that. Instead of calling him 'lazy', tell him what it is exactly that you want him to do..and how much you will appreciate it. You may get a much better response and maybe some help too.

Answer 7

In a mans mind you would be an idiot because men don't know that they have to get off their butts and actually put the empty beer bottles in the bin or that dishes need to be washed so you don't die of food poisoning.
If you knew that the magic fairies came and did everything like he does you would be smart like him.Be gentle on him after all he's just a man.

Answer 8

It's justified if you're really and idiot and he's really lazy. If you called him lazy and he's not, and called you an idiot and you're not, then it's justified. But both statements have to be either true or false for it to be justified.

Answer 9

Not sure if either of you are justified. Try to quit the name calling. I had a neighbor couple who were outside sunning once. They got into a tiff. She called him wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. He retorted Hefty, Hefty, Hefty just like the trash bag commercial. That was the end of a two year relationship. Names do hurt.

Answer 10

That's not nice, but since you gave him a negative comment, he snapped back at you. So that's pretty okay since you called him a name also. If he just said it out of nowhere for no praticular reason, then yes that's not ok. But that didn't happen.

Yet if he hurt you than that's something serious, but if it's a simple insult than I guess your okay. Don't worry about it too much, other couples argue much worse than you think.