Every time I see your smiling face, my heart soars away. You are all I think about, write about, and dream about. You are constantly in my thoughts, and I hope I’m in yours. I wish you knew how much I care about you, how much I love you, how much I want to be with you, and I wish you felt the same about me. Every time I hear your voice, I feel as happy as can be. One smile from you can melt my soul. When we are apart, I feel as if something is missing, as if all of me isn’t there. When I see you, I can’t help but just stare. I might write your name on all of my books, hoping someday we would be 2gether 4ever.
Love,
Your Secret Admirer
2006-09-14 13:58:37 · 15 answers · asked by Simply Amazing...* 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
as a poem it sucks, as a sexy note to leave for your admired to find... awesome...
2006-09-14 14:00:58 · answer #1 · answered by turtle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice, heres one also:
My heart is held in a soft and silky shell by tendrils of spun emotion
They were placed there so many years ago
floating through the summer air like cattail seeds and
collecting as if drawn by my own will.
They hold it and bind it but let it take its timely breaths
2006-09-14 21:33:14 · answer #2 · answered by Ralph 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the problem in a world of www.poetry.com and self-publishing sites, a person will string a few words together that he "feels" and he calls it a poem. where is the symbolism? rhyme? meter? bigger meaning? metaphor? unique language? it doesn't need all of it but there has to be a justifiable reason you wrote it this way. Also really there is no imagery. imagery is key to poetry.
this isn't a poem.
it's prose.
the feelings are genuine. and you can spin them into a poem.
2006-09-15 01:35:03 · answer #3 · answered by Gabe S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Erm, it could use some work. Sounds like a greeting card, actually.
Here's one . . .
Open up my history book
See your name in all the nooks
Written on my desk in hearts
Are three names- yours, mine and ours
Your name is scribbled in the margins,
Edges, whatever you call it
Of all the notes I took today
And yesterday, okay, okay
I admit it, I know you know
But I'll still tell you . . .
I’M IN LOVE
Love, your secret admirer
2006-09-14 21:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good internet - type poem. :) I like the part about the smile can melt the soul.
2006-09-14 21:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh, you're no romeo - it doesn't read like a poem but a sappy love letter. i hope you don't really mean all that! "when we're apart, i feel as if something is missing?" yea, brain cells. c'mon, get a life! how old are you anyway?
2006-09-14 21:04:16 · answer #6 · answered by Forever 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the love bug has bitten you! It's nice in a mushy sort of way.
2006-09-14 21:08:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it reads more like the diary entry of a 13-year-old.
2006-09-15 04:24:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does not constitute as a poem but a love letter.
2006-09-14 21:52:29 · answer #9 · answered by poet_by_nature 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a little stalker like
2006-09-14 21:04:15 · answer #10 · answered by pink9364 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely INLOVE! doesnt sound like as a poem though, but as long as you express your feelings that'll rock.
2006-09-14 21:08:30 · answer #11 · answered by [[_acidteardrop_]] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋