My wife just isn't horny or responsive to my needs sexually and intimately. Everything changed since we had a child. Their is something in her vagina that sits at the opening and when i put in my penis she says it hurts. A doctor told her this may go away if she has surgery or another child. what should we do cuz i am ready to cheat
2006-09-14 12:52:41 · 18 answers · asked by sweetone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sex is not mechanical workout session...especially between husband & wife. You must try hard to connect with her again and make her realize you are her husband as much as your child's parent. You must also understand her situation as a new mother which must be overwhelming.
The fact that you publically states that you're ready to cheat because your wife won't provide tells me that you don't care to understand her and just want her to satisfy your need.
Your wife need to cater to her baby 24/7 and it should really overwhelm her. Try to be more supportive and help her out. She will eventually feel moved by you and feel romantic once again.
2006-09-14 13:21:18 · answer #1 · answered by Doctor Dad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, when ya have a kid everything changes. Your wife may be tired and stressed from the goings-on at home.
You need to ask her how you can help her get her spark back (which may include surgery). Talk to her about what you used to do together. Tell her you're willing to try ANYTHING to make it happen! Since intercourse isn't comfy, try something different... use your imagination!
Sometimes when a woman's sex drive is down, it doesn't have anything to do with sex per se... it's because her life isn't feeling balanced. Guys can have sex on a whim without thinking... some women need to have their head completely content before they can even think about sex.
Make her dinner... do the laundry... look after the kid while she takes a nap or a hot bath... buy her flowers... leave her love notes on her pillow... rub her feet... do whatever you can to spice up her energy and remind her that she is a WOMAN first, a WIFE second, and a MOTHER third ~ in exactly that order.
Whatever you do, please don't cheat. That would create a wound even time can not heal.
2006-09-14 13:16:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not cheat on your wife in her time of need! Obviously, you are aware that there is a problem and she's not making it up.
How would you feel if everytime you stuck your penis in her vagina it hurt like hell and she was "ready to cheat"? It would hurt your feelings right? It would make you feel like crap, correct?
Anyway, I would imply that she should go to the doctors and ask them to do check ups on it so they could try and figure out what it is as well as seeing what can help. She needs to get a different doctors view... it's always good to hear from more than one doctor.
All in all, you need to stick by your wife.. It isn't her fault that it's painful. And, if you love your wife and your child you'll remain faithful.
2006-09-14 13:16:19 · answer #3 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If her doctor said surgery will help, by all means look into that. You didn't say how old your child is, an infant can be incredibly demanding on the mother. Hire a sitter, help her out around the house, sex is only part of her life, and at this point it might just be a less important part. Arrange a special night, take her out to dinner and rekindle the romance in the coupledom. Good luck!
2006-09-14 13:10:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cheating isnt the answer and if you love your wife that thought would never have came to your mind in a way you are already cheating because thinking about it is how cheating starts and you took vows to love her no matter what so it would be very shallow of you to cheat only because your wife isnt giving you sex the way you want it and why would you want her to be in pain physical or emotional because she will be hurt if you cheat and trust she will find out.
2006-09-14 13:05:35 · answer #5 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is not the answer! Try to talk her into getting it resolved by surgery. If you even have the thought of cheating, another child is not the answer too. Until then, try to introduce toys and videos and stuff like that..
2006-09-14 13:20:02 · answer #6 · answered by CAlich 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are ways to satisfy a man sexually other than vaginally. Until the condition can be fixed, try some of them. They are fun, too. Cheating never did anything but make a bad situation worse.
2006-09-14 13:01:06 · answer #7 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if it's just her not wanting to have sex with you then you should tell her that you have needs and that if she can't meet them then you don't have too many options other than to leave her to keep from cheating or just go ahead and cheat! But if she has a medical problem that makes having sex painfull then you should consider the fact that maybe she does want to have sex but cant because it to painfull, either way you should at least get a b job out of it!
2006-09-14 13:16:55 · answer #8 · answered by Ash 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A lot of women have problems with sex after child birth just be patient work with her, try to get her excited, do something that you wouldn't normally do.
Talk to her about sex, what is her favorite position, what doesn't she like about sex ect. and go from there, she will tell you herself what to do.
Why ruin your family by cheating, come on man its only sex, it might only last 1 hour but your family is for life be patient.
2006-09-14 12:58:59 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. Naughtiness 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey guess what .....the relationship doesnt revolve around you!!!!
Be supportive of your wife and help her get the help she needs to overcome this.
Having a child is a huge change in everyones lives, especially the women because they do most of the work with the children.
Give her a break.
Cheating?.......* rolling my eyes*.......grow up!!!!!!!
2006-09-14 13:12:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋