My 6 year old just told me a secret his dad told him, that he has a girlfriend at work. Not sure what to think

Question

I really can't imagine a six year old just creating a lie like that.

Just want to add that he is my husband. We have three children together and I am now 18 weeks pregnant with our third.

Answer 1

I have been through this before. Don't let it consume you, your 6 yr old could be talking about the 80 yr old secretary. Tell your husband the impression you got from your son. Ask him in a non-accusing way. If you"re having to ask this question, then surly you are concerned about his faithfulness. Time for husband and wife time to work it through. Either way there is a rift in the relationship, that must not be igmored. Ralationships are a constant effort, don't put it off!

Answer 2

My first thought is anybody with common sense knows a six year old can't really understand the depth of keeping a secret especially in that realm. he surely is to young to make that up, but ask yourself if you son has ever gone to work with his dad and if so maybe there was a woman/girl there that even your six year old thought was kinda cute, and dad said that she is " just his friend".................and or dig a little further to find out if your husband really did tell him a secret because if he did you hubby deep inside knew damned well he's open his mouth to you and used him as the scape goat to inform you with out him (the husband) having to do it himself.

Answer 3

If I were you I wouldn't mention it to your husband just yet.Just keep the secret between you and your son.ask him to get more evidence because he is trusted by your husband with it.Something is definately wrong here.If it pans out to be true I'm sorry to say not only would your husband be a cheat but a moran too.Children make things up to test their parents at least once but don't assume anything.Either way your child needs assurance that you believe him and trust him unless you find otherwise then trouble big time for lying.

Answer 4

Ok.. first i wouldnt panic.. and no i doubt ur son is lying, buttttttt he could have it confused.. it could be a "friend" that is a girl.. and ur son is putting it together as gf..

And u refer to him as his dad.. is he ur husband as well or are u not together.. cause if ur not together then he may just have a gf, and if thats the case, whats there to think????? nothing.. he can do as he pleases..

But if ur married, id simply ask my husband calmly what the deal is .. im sure its just a misunderstanding of sorts.. children especaily at that age dont get information correct because they cant process it correctly..

Answer 5

Sounds like you need to call that show cheaters.I would say if your six year old told you out of the blue then it's probably true.You should go to his work on his breaks and watch who he's with and what they do.If he says he's working over go to his work and look for his car and if it's there stay there until he leaves.They could always go in her car just in case you were to check for his car.I wouldn't say anything just yet and do some spying but don't forget your camera.

Answer 6

I cannot imagine your six--year--old child lying, either.
It's also hard to think that your husband was reckless enough to tell your child anything personal like that.

Maybe he was only kidding around, but it smells fishy.

Tell your child that's ok, because you have a boyfriend, too.

See what happens.

Have a baseball bat ready for when he explodes.

Children should not be in the middle of **** like this, between parents. Not your fault. He started it, but protect that child. !!!

Answer 7

tHIS IS A VERY SERIOUS THING. i FEEL YOU SHOULD TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT THIS. I DON'T BELEIVE YOUR HUSBAND WOULD TELL HIS 6 YEAR OLD A SECRET. AND YES CHILDREN DO MAKE UP THINGS ALL THE TIME. REMEBER ITS CHILDREN WITH THE IMAGINARY FRIENDS. YOUR CHILD COULD HAVE HEARD SOMETHING LIKE THIS AT SCHOOL OR ON TV. I DON'T THINK YOUR CHILD IS TRYING TO MAKE UP A LIE. JUST THAT CHILDREN ARE NOT THE BEST SOURCE FOR FACTS.

Answer 8

This is a doosey!

Six-year-olds don't usually make up stories about a subject like this because the subject is not in their minds to do so, or because they have come into full useage of their consciences and they tend not to lie, or they don't know yet what lying is. Age six is a pivotal age for "truth versus non-truth". However, here are a some possibilities to think about:

Six-year-olds can "get ideas" from other children and/or they tend to repeat something another child has said that has nothing to do with their own lives or the lives of those in their families.

There is also the fact that six-year-olds can still be vying for the sole attention of their opposite-gender parent. In this case, the child is a son who may be wanting his mom's sole attention.

This "vying for sole attention" can include "getting the same-gender parent out of the picture" and a six-year-old doesn't understand what he/she is doing with regard to their own, growing psychology. He/she only wants to get his/her "mission accomplished".

At the same time, a child of six years of age may not yet completely understand the complexities of what lying is and what the consequences of lying are.

Your "mission", and you do have to choose to take it, is to find out if the child is "correct" or not without causing problems between you and your husband. To do this, I suggest you don't go jumping off the deep end, accusing your husband, and thus causing problems you don't want to have between the two of you.

If your husband did, indeed, say this to your innocent-minded child, he has brought the child into a conspiracy-type set up with him against you, whether or not what he may have said is true.

If he has conspired with the child and it's not true, your husband is imbalanced. Whatever his motives would be for doing this are beyond the norm. Maybe he's trying to get your attention by attempting to make you upset, angry, or jealous. If what he may have done IS true, he's imbalanced for bringing the child in on it and he's unfaithful. And so, either way, there may be serious problems which need to be addressed and resolved.

In order to remain sane while you consider your options in attempting to discover if your child is correct, do NOT involve your child in any counter-conspiracy, lies, retaliatory actions, or anything that brings the child into the situation any further, do NOT put the child between the two of you, and do NOT confront you husband with the child as a "witness" against your husband and his father. In fact, do not involve the child at all.

Since I'm not there and don't know what the situation is with your husbands' work, I can only make some suggestions:

To find out more about this POSSIBLE situation, depends upon your husband's work, his work situation and location to your home, whether or not you can visit him at work, like "pop in" and make an appearence to his colleagues at work, be more of a "fact" to those who he works with, etc., and actions as these which will not throw "suspicion" upon you. You may or may not know others at his work enough to be friendly and, thus, "allow" someone at work to "spill the POSSIBLE beans", if anyone would.

Private investigators are helpful, but can be expensive and, unless you have your own funds and can hide the fact you hired one, a PI may not be a viable way to go. And, unless you can borrow someone else's car, a car he's not familiar with, you wouldn't want to "case him out" at his workplace with one of your cars.

Again, this "situation" may have been created by the child for the above-stated "child psychology" reasons. Perhaps you can ascertain from the child when your husband said this to him. Maybe the child will admit he heard something like this from a friend, or from a TV daytime drama or movie. If not, you will certainly have to get down to the bottom of it.

One more suggestion: Perhaps there's a third party, a trusted friend or a trusted relative the both of you are close to, who could bring up what the child said...or what "some other" child said [this would be better because it leaves your child out of it, completely]..... and in a non-confrontational manner, and in an off-the-cuff, humorous manner. This way you both can see your husband's reaction. Or, you can "bring up what some other child said" on your own and see the reaction.

I hope some of these thoughts and suggestions can be of help to you, and I hope all works out well for your and your family.

Answer 9

I would believe my son but bring it up to my husband as a joke and see how he responds to it! But your husband is a real idiot if he's going to tell his secrets to his 6 year old son! How lame does he not have friends? Maybe he just wanted you to find out and hearing it from your child wouldn't hurt you as bad in his mind..

Answer 10

I cant imagine why your husband would tell his 6yr old son he's having an affair with a co-worker. Children do get confused, and myabe your husband said this is his friend-and your son just put to and two togeather Girl and Friend.

If you are thinking he is cheating than confrom him.