I am pregnant 3 1/2 months and naturally went to call my bf well i did and guess who answered the cell phone i was shocked to relaize the woman i was speaking to was his wife I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS MARRIED!!!!I feel heart broken i really love this man i am 19 years old and he is 24 . She told me they have been married for 7 years and to verify this she sent me a copy of the marriage certificate and told me never to call again. What do i do i love him?!! And he says they have been separated for two years now that i have spoken to him and he was just there to move the rest of his stuff out of garage and left his cell phone there by mistake?
2006-09-14 12:23:46 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He told me the marriage went bad years ago because they were too young
2006-09-14 12:25:47 · update #1
he was happy i was pregnant and hopes its a boy
2006-09-14 12:32:03 · update #2
Unless he's divorced, not separated, then he's still married. Do yourself a favor and just leave him. He's a lying fool.
When in doubt, ask for proof of divorce.
2006-09-14 12:34:00 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he always available when you call? Is it okay for you to go with him wherever he goes? Have you ever been to his place? If the answer to all of these is yes, it is perfectly reasonable to assume he is telling the truth. I forget my cell phone sometimes, too. She could have ten copies of the marriage certificate, but if they are separated, they aren't worth the paper they are written on.
I would advise him he needs to go and get a divorce if he wants to be with you.
If the answer to those questions is no, then it is time to do some serious soul searching. Do you really want to be with a guy who cheats on his wife and has gotten someone else pregnant? Just how reliable a person is that to invite into your life? Make a life without him. He is a liar and a cheat, and you don't want that kind of trouble to deal with, especially in your condition.
Find one of his friends or good acquaintances and ask if he is married. Find out for sure from an independent source.
Good luck
2006-09-14 20:15:24 · answer #2 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is playing you big time. You say you had no idea he was married, my husband let me know before we ever dated he was never married and had no childeren (You never asked if he was ever married or had childeren?) I would think that would be a question most people would talk about first meeting.
Have you only known this guy as long as you've been pregnant? I don't think it sounds like you've known him long that you didn't know he was married. That is not something you can hide long (being maried). Did you ever go to his house? He probably only comes to yours. I'd be curious if I just started dating a guy who only came to my home and never allowed me to his, that would be a red flag I think. I'm sure he never showed you where he lived either, right?
You may love him, but he does not love you & he is using you. Anyway why would you want this guy, he belongs to someone else. If you have to fight over a guy he is not worth it and you will be fighting the rest of your life because he's a run around and will never be faithful.
He is also lying about leaving his phone there at the ex's (if she is the ex)
Next time he shows up for a booty call ask him to call his wife and ask her why she told you that they were still together so you can hear him. If he makes any excusses or refuses to do it you will know for sure he is playing you.
2006-09-14 20:15:28 · answer #3 · answered by jaden2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a whole lot of BS hit to me what man you know would even accidently leave his phone at a womans house whom he supposed to be seperated from I know you are hurt but this man is a LIAR you have the marriage license in your hand so does he have legal seperation papers or divorce papers to prove otherwise,he wasnt there to move his things out of the garage he was there because thats where he lives the one thing I do know about a man is that he may lose his cell phone but he will never ever forget it at his exs house and if hes not trustworthy he will never leave it where his wife or sig other may wind up answering it I feel sad for you because you are young and you have been taken advantage of but now you are pregnant and his wife is just going to have to deal with it because the baby isnt the problem her lying Husband is.
2006-09-14 19:56:15 · answer #4 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one - You are between a rock and a hard place. You are carrying his child. If it is a cell phone, continue to call it. If she answers again - you will know the truth. You shouldn't really stress yourself out too much though - it isn't good for the baby. Or you could back off completely and wait to see if he calls you. I feel for you - if I were you I would continue to collect information and make an educated decision later. Continue on like you were. Take care of yourself and your baby. Check on everything he tells you! you will soon learn what is the truth. I found out that my bf was cheating on me when I was 8 months along. It was not fun. But let me tell you - if I had admitted the truth to myself earlier it would have saved a lot of heartache for myself in the long run. I guess - collect information and follow your gut! Good luck honey.
2006-09-14 19:32:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anna F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen, this situation happened with my parents. It never worked through out the years. Obviously he did not tell you because he has intentions on staying married to her, well, maybe not any more. All you can do is bite the bullet. This should be a valued lesson to you. Never make assumptions without facts first sweetie. I feel for you, my mother went through it and still talks about it to the day. I think you should allow him to be a part of your child's life and there through your pregnancy too. I don't however think he is future family material because of his deception. If you would have never called, you may have never known. Then the heart break would be more devastating in the end. Good luck..
2006-09-14 19:30:47 · answer #6 · answered by skawp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So where does he live? Have you ever been to his home? It could be that he is telling you the truth. Ex's have the hardest time letting go sometimes. He is going to be a daddy and if he is still married and is still with her, he is going to pay child support for that child. You don't need the added stress right now hun. Ask him why he hasn't gotten a divorce yet after 2 years of seperation. Most people that split up get divorced.
2006-09-14 19:43:19 · answer #7 · answered by Lipstick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if he is separated he is still married. Dump him for the cheater he is. I am apt to believe her more for the simple fact that he never mentioned her to you. You may love him but he does not love you his actions and secret keeping tells you that. he can be the father to his child and not be with you. If you choose to stay with him knowing he is a liar then know that he will never truly respect you for allowing him to do what he has done to you. I would tell him when he shows you a divorce decree then you may think about being in a relationship and not until then. He is going to give you a sob story about how mean and cruel she is and why he can't get a divorce just yet do not fall for it. Only accept a man who will treasure you. he does not.
2006-09-14 19:30:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a tough one, in the realm of Dr. Phil. Well, if he's the one that got you pregnant, then he owes you child support weather e is married or not. However, it does sound fishy because if he was married, even if he was separated he should have mentioned that. If he really wants to be with you its time he took responsibility for his actions grew up and acted like a man, if he wants to move in with you and take care of you and your kid that's cool. If not, tell him to pay child support, but that the relationship is over. Also, you might want to look up some of the social agencies in your area, and see if they have and counselling or help for pregnant girls because, your problem sounds like one that you might need a lot of help with. Good luck.
2006-09-14 19:34:09 · answer #9 · answered by Cactus Dan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to prove it to u.. tell him u want a house phone number to where he can be reached.. if he makes up an excuse.. or says he doesnt have one ect.. then he's a liar.. and im wondering, in all the time u've been together which im guess is atleast 3 and a half months.. u've never gone to "his" place????????? c'mon after this much time u have to know whether or not he's telling the truth..
House number, he stays with u over night on a regular bases.. u've stayed the night at his place.. ect ect.. put the pieces together..
2006-09-14 19:30:53 · answer #10 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont believe a word hs says. If he was planning on leaving her then he would have told you about her from day one. Im sorry to say but you have been played big time....and now you have a baby to bring into this world proably without a dad. Do you really think hes going to be there for the both of you??? I doubt it very much. Im sorry about your situation and i hope you learn something from this. Hes a lying sneaky asshole. And he will cheat on you too.
2006-09-14 19:29:53 · answer #11 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋