for example he will tell them I had him mow the lawn and do yard work when in fact we both did the work before we hired someone else to do it and he complains to them about how I used up all the ink in the printer to frint flyers for advertisement this is only the things i found out, I can only imagine what else he tells them, no wonder they don't like me, and I also wonder if he is doing it just to get them to dislike me, I'm totally confused and I thought my husband would stand by me no matter what, it sounds petty but what should i do , am i wrong ?
is this normal? I don't talk bad about my husband to my family, i just think is wrong.
what should I do?
2006-09-14 12:17:57 · 42 answers · asked by mari r 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
LoL first of all relax.. read what u wrote.. and pretend that ur his "PARENT" hearing what he's telling them.. because im a parent and if my son came in complaining because OMG his wife asked him to mow the lawn id Laugh and think he's pathetic for not doing it with out being told.. and as far as the printer, id be like Ok, get off your azz and go buy a new ink cartridge.. So although it sux thinking he's talking negative about u.. dont u realize how he's coming off to his family sounding like a immature jerk thats lazy????????? let him hang himself.. he's not making u look bad, he's making himself look bad..
2006-09-14 12:22:51 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I've had relationships like this. My advice is that you should get away from your husband. He doesn't love you and no matter what you do for him it won't be good enough. Just don't do much for him. Try not to have enthusiastic sex either. If ge makes good $ leave him with the baby and get child support. This guys a jerk. Watch your back. Don't trust him at all. If you have no skills you will have to wait until you do to leave. Maybe you could start saving money on the side to move out. If u have parents who will help go there. You are wasting your time with this guy. He's a heel. A mommas boy. A small man. He's suppossed to protect you and love you. He's trashing you because he doesn't respect you. He wants to make him and his family feel superior. He's a jerk. I'm sorry but I would bounce out of there. I would definately know that you don't have a husband. So you might have to bide your time but basically u are single. Even the bible says a man should leave his mother and cling to.his wife. You are married to.a big jerk.
2016-03-27 01:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it your in-law's business anyway if you used all the ink in YOUR printer or if you asked your husband to do yard work. If he's a real man he should he should mow the lawn. If your in-law's want to judge you based on negative things your husband will say about you, you're either a difficult personality and they simply don't like you(which I doubt is true), or they are small minded and don't want to accept someone who has married into their precious family. It's not normal; although a common mistake that an immature man can make. Stand up to your man and let him know how this affects your feelings and your marraige. Give him a real ultimatium, not a simple threat, that he needs to stop complaining about you to others, or you will leave him. If he doesn't stop, BACK IT UP. Go to an attourney. The first consultation is usually free. Your husband sounds like a lazy guy with a bad attitude and I am guessing that your Mother in law is a domineering woman who thinks her precious kid can do no wrong. Shock them all by putting him out. They don't like you anyway. Do what I say and you will probobly scare him straight. This advice is from a woman!
2006-09-14 12:51:44 · answer #3 · answered by todd h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure he didn't say these things in a joking manner and they took them out of text? Or could you be really sensitive and just be taking them out of text? I don't mean to undermine you, but, just wanted to make sure you weren't making a big deal out of nothing. Have you asked him why he would say these things? This is ridiculous anyway. In a traditional family it's suppose to be the man's job to mow. And was that ink cartridge brand new when you printed those flyers? I think you should have a talk with him and tell him how this made you feel and try to get to the bottom of this. I don't encourage divorces, so, maybe the two of you should seek counseling. Are you Christians? I will be praying for you.
2006-09-14 12:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by jennifer c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right it is petty on his part and childish, and so is his family for listening to such rubbish. But just come right out and ask him why he feels he needs to degrade you with such petty little crap to his family. So what if the big baby mowed the yard and what's the big deal about the printer? He really sounds like a mommas boy and needs to grow up.
2006-09-14 12:23:53 · answer #5 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How are you finding out about this? If someone in the family are telling you, are you sure they aren't pulling your chain?
You MUST talk to your husband about this. Don't be aggressive or angry about it. Try to stay calm, just in case someone IS lying to you. Don't say "I've found out you've been badmouthing me". Stick to the examples you definitely know about, that is, say "I've been told, you told your family you'd done all the yard work. You know that's not true. I'd like to know why you did that."
Give him a chance to explain - again, try to keep calm whatever he says. You're not going to achieve anything by yelling at each other.
He may be doing it just to big-note himself, or to feel accepted by his family.
Bottom line is, though, that It's a disgraceful thing to do, whatever his reasons, and if he doesn't apologise and stop doing it, you should walk out.
2006-09-14 12:31:08 · answer #6 · answered by Kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak to him about this and tell him it hurts. Maybe he is just trying to let off some steam and does not know his family has big mouths and is going to run to you and tell you. If they don't like you I'm sure they are adding on to what he says. Tell him " I don't tell my family thing that will make them dislike you because i love you can you please give me the same courtesy especially since you know they don't like me" If he is any kind of man he will apologize. he is wrong but, talk to him some men are so dense they don't realize when they put their foots in their mouths until someone pulls it out for them.
2006-09-14 12:24:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His attitude is definitely disrespectful and I would have a talk with him and find out why he's trying to get them to hate u. If his parents are any wiser, they'd think he's just a babbling idiot for whining so much. If their opinion of u is very important to u, have a talk with them yourself and let them know that what he's telling them isn't entirely true. If they don't buy that then it's their problem, not yours.
Your job though is to set your husband straight.
2006-09-14 12:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong. He is very wrong.. Not a good husband. He shouldn't be complaining to anyone about you. If he has a problem with you he should talk to you about it. NOT to others. It's none of there business. Maybe you ought to say something to him. Or maybe bring it up in front of the parents. put him on the spot.
2006-09-14 12:23:48 · answer #9 · answered by dragonfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is definitely wrong for doing this. Ask him what does he get out of bad mouthing you with his family. Ask him does he still want to be married. Let him know that his behavior is unacceptable and you thought out of all people your husband suppose to be your best friend but instead he is being a two faced friend.
2006-09-14 12:22:52 · answer #10 · answered by Who me? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋