I've been offered a job almost 200 hundred miles away from home and it's tempting to take because the money's great, it'll get me valuable experience in the field I've just started out in and they company will pay for me to take a course leading to a further professional qualification.
The thing is, I have to start in just over a week if I do accept it which also means flat-hunting and tying up lose ends in my present job.
I met a man (through my current job) who is so wonderful & perfect and the way I feel around him is something I've never experienced before. It just feels like we were meant to be together. He's so funny, charming, sweet and a complete gentleman and we only just got together last week! He has gone abroad for the week (on important business) and knows about the job (which he has said if he were me he wouldn't take, that was before we got together) but I just can't decide if my career or lovelife is 2come 1st.He's currently studying part-time so can't move wiv me!
2006-09-14 11:05:24 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
Hey guys,
thanks for all the advice so far! Bit of extra info - I'm 26 yrs old, no kids. He had to go abroad to sort out some family stuff but is back now and sweeter than ever!
I'm getting cold feet about the job because: a) it's in a part of Birmingham I wasn't particularly impressed by, b) the company are saying that I'll get my contract on my first day when I'd rather read through it before commiting to anything, and c) related to the last one is that they promised to pay for me to do further courses AND allow paid day release but without a contract in advance I have no guarantee that this is actually going to happen!
The guy is lovely and all he's said is that he doesn't want to tell me what to do although he'd love it if I stayd. I haven't elaborated on the finer details so he prob isn't aware that I'm actually seriously considering leaving!
2006-09-19 12:05:57 · update #1
If he's "perfect" then you can take the job and things will still work out.
2006-09-14 11:07:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that either of you have invested enough time in this relationship to make such a life-changing decision based on just getting together last week.
Every relationship is beautiful and every man is great, a gentlemen, etc. when you first get together.
Finding a job is difficult and to find one which pays well, will further your education and give you valuable experience is WORTH the effort. Research the company (vault.com) and if you feel comfortable, your career development will only help you and whoever you are in a relationship with.
Since he is studying part-time, he can not move with you -- I do not think that should be a consideration considering the length of time of your relationship.
FYI----- YOU are only moving 200 miles away. That is a 3-hour drive??? With the relationship being so new, 3-hours is not that far. I think this distance will make him show just how interested he is. Women tend to see a man as perfect when he is still checking out what is available.
Don't throw away this opportunity for someone who has not promised you anything. Besides a perfect man would support your growth and find a way for this to work for both of you.
Congratulations and Best Wishes!!!
2006-09-14 19:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My personal opinion to your questionis, I would take the job, I am sure you have studied worked long and hard for this dream job to come along. If this man is everything that you say that he is then he would encourage you to take the job. You just said that he was abroad on a business trip, would you ask him not to go? Also, the two of you just met there is no guarantee that what the two of you have found is going to last, I hope it does, but I, feel you not taking the job you are cheating yourself out of something that you truely deserve and have truely earned . Remember the job is only 200 miles it's not like you can go to see him and him you . You are ready to pass up a good job for a relationship you have to ideal where it is going to go. Men come a dime a dozen, but great job opportunities don't. Please think about what you are doing before you decide to turn that job down for love. None of us can project the future, I don't know you but I'm sure that you are a wonderful person, smart self confident ,I say take the job and see where the relation goes from there, believe it or not that will also open your eyes and mind to see, if this relationship will be everything you want it to be. Give the job a chance and work on this new relationship, you will be surprise of what you might see.Sincerely, Lesa Girl
2006-09-14 18:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by Lesa Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would put my career first with your love life a close second. 200 miles is not that far away--you could both drive half-way rather easily--and you may never have another great job opportunity as the one you've been given. If you are truly meant to be, then you will be...he'll be there when he finishes his studies and you know your new job much better. The job is more secure at this point, and that's what I think you should take. I do know it's a difficult choice, and good luck!
2006-09-14 18:18:34 · answer #4 · answered by AFL lover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can only tell you what i would do...i would take the job. If the job is as good as you say then you will be crazy to refuse, if this fella is as good as you say, he will find a way around it. can't he come with you and study in a different college/university?
relationships dont always last anyway so do you take the chance with him and stay in the career your in now, or do you better your career and hope he understands its something you have to do for yourself.
you said you have only just got together with him, ok its rubbish timing but do you think you'll ever get this job offer again?
only you know how you feel about this lad and how much you want this job.
you said hes away at the moment, if you asked him not to go, would he had listened to you and stayed? i doubt it, put your career first, men come 2nd (sorry boys)
2006-09-14 18:13:24 · answer #5 · answered by zeldieuk2002 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
The best thing you can do is put yourself FIRST!! Your career is most important who else can you rely on to support you?!! Let's put things in to perspective it may sound harsh for which I am sorry but at the end of the day you've been with this guy for one week is that really enough to throw away such a fantastic opportunity?!! I a guessing you don't have kids or mortgage so that you can up sticks and move so quickly so i say go for the job if he his the right guy things will work out if not cela vie there'splenty more fish in the sea and who knows who you might meet in this job!!
2006-09-14 18:13:07 · answer #6 · answered by Jacz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the job 200 miles is absolutely nothing some people commute more than that in a day. Its also the time to see how strong your relationship is. Considering that now days most relationships do not work, you are safer with a good job than a new relationship. Worse still whilst accepted its not really a good idea to work in the same place with your partner. Its better for one of you to move out.
2006-09-19 05:24:54 · answer #7 · answered by cool runings 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel the job is what you are or have been looking for then you MUST take it. You say you only got together last week, if it had been a longer period of time then maybe the answer could be different.
If you dont take the job there will always be that element of 'what if', besides if he is as good as you say he is then he should support you.
By the way we have been married 23 years and this week, my wife started a job in London, 3500 miles from where I will be, because its something she has always wanted to do and I will be supporting her.
2006-09-14 18:22:11 · answer #8 · answered by Expat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm I can answer this one no problem I was in a simular situation late last year I met a guy got on really well with him he was just what I had been looking for but... I he'd planned and saved to go to egypt ( from the uk) to sit his diving instructors course and was due to leave on the 3rd just after his birthday forever. I obviously couldnt go good job in the uk mortgage etc. So I told him to go; my view was I never wanted him to look back and blame me for what could have been and if its meant and you both want it you'll find away. We are still together now, I wont lie and say its been easy, but its easier and we are stronger than ever as we know distance has not spilt us apart. He passsed his course and is coming home at christmas for good. Ive had trips out there and him back home and its working, and I have never regretted saying to him to go. So if this guy really cares he would want whats best for you and tell you to go. Remeber we all have honeymoon periods in relationships and six months down the line you could split up and youve lost both. Be hard stick to your guns and if he cares he will understand. If he doesnt then it was not meant to be. He seems to not mind dropping you to fly off for business which helps his career, think twice before throwing away a good oppertunity for the wrong reasons. but talk to him tell him it doesnt have to end, dont just drop it on him and explain why its so important to you, see how he reacts and you'll know your answer then anyway ... good luck
2006-09-14 18:21:08 · answer #9 · answered by technopixie1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he charms you, then goes home from work to his wife and kids AKA gone abroad on important business for the week. His part-time studying would be his excuse to you for not being with you in the evenings or weekends.
Wise, up, my dear. You will be working for the rest of your life so if you have a chance to further your career, you should concentrate on that.
Even if he might not be married, anybody, men and women both, put their best foot forward at first. It does and will change.
2006-09-14 18:27:10 · answer #10 · answered by moekittykitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very Difficult Decision, Do you go with your heart or your head?
1st thing is, you have just met this man, how would you feel if you gave the job up for him and it didn't work out, would you be bitter??
On the other hand, if you move away and leave him will you ever be able to live with not knowing if he was the one?
No one can make this decision but you!, sit down with him and find out what is intentions are (god how old fashioned does that sound). And then make your decision. If he tells you to go then is he as serious about you as you seem to be about him?
Good Luck and i wouldn't trade places for the world.
2006-09-14 18:12:34 · answer #11 · answered by flibertyjib 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋