I have been with my boyfriend for three years now. We are 26 and 29 we are not getting any younger he has been married in the past and I think he is scared to do it agin. We have a 1 year old dautgher togther. And we have lived together for two years now. I am so ready to get married how do I let him know with out me haveing to ask him myself. I want him to ask me.
2006-09-14 09:55:08 · 20 answers · asked by Mrs E 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Steps:
1. Make him aware of your interest in a lifetime commitment. Drop subtle hints from time to time, such as, 'We'd make a great team' or 'I can't imagine my future without you,' rather than incessantly bombarding him with demands about marriage.
2. Point out your shared interests, values and common goals. Open his eyes so he'll realize that you're the one for him.
3. Remember that actions speak louder than words. Show him what a great lifetime partner you could be through thoughtful actions, sincerity, kindness and other appealing traits.
4. Create opportunities for him to pop the question. Plan a candlelight dinner, arrange a romantic evening out or have a weekend away together.
5. Remind him of several happily married couples who are mutual friends
6. Of yours, pointing out how much you have in common with them and how successful their marriages are.
7. Express your happiness, love and devotion to him. Show him by your actions and words that you've found the man of your dreams - and you're ready to marry him!
Tips:
Make sure not to fixate on this issue, as it may have a detrimental effect on the relationship. Give him the time he needs to sort things out.
http://www.ehow.com/how_9809_him-propose.html
2006-09-14 10:07:43 · answer #1 · answered by super_sexy_amazona 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough situation all the way around because the fact is if he was interested in marriage he would be letting you know sooooo if you do the asking you could change the entire dynamic of the relationship and his attitude could change very quickly if he's happy with the way things are now and you are pushing for more, you could very well see that boy running away. Besides, you already live together and have a kid...so since you didn't even wait to have children to get married what is it that you actually want from a marriage? Thats the first thing you have to figure out...what is it that you are really trying to get? You already made the biggest possible commitment there is to being part of each others lives forever, you had a kid. Before you bring it up I'd think long and hard about what it is you think a ceremony will give you that you don't already have. After that, you are going to have to bring it up, he's in no hurry and you need to realize you are taking a big gamble by doing so.
2006-09-14 10:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you guys waiting for anything in particular, like finishing college? If not, then it's about time you got engaged. You can't *force* it per se, but have a serious talk with him and let him know that you want to get married. If he says he's not ready "yet," ask him when he will be ready. There is no deadline for dating someone before you have to get married, but you guys do have a daughter together. She deserves to have married parents, and there are legal issues to consider. What if something happened to him? How much of your stuff is in his name? Wouldn't it go to his ex-wife and kids, if he died?
2006-09-14 10:06:07 · answer #3 · answered by Heidi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u cud prepare a romantic dinner for the both of u or organize to do something romantic or something different and while talking to him on general subjects, just bring the topic of u and him... Tell him how u feel abt ur relationship and let him know indirectly that ur ready to gt married. Couples normally talk to each other abt their relationships esp if its more than 2 years so it wont be that ur the only person in the world who wants to get married or better still talk abt the subject... do small things that wud make him feel special and that will make u look irresistible.. its all in our charm and how we portray ourselves... so go ahead and use ur womanly charms...
Dont start pestering him about it thou cos it will make him more distant.... take one day at a time and show him that ur ready in not so certain ways...
2006-09-14 10:06:51 · answer #4 · answered by beautysexychick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I took it to"next step" when I was 17 and we both wanted our 1st to be magic , we got a older friend to get us a Fancy hotel room by the lake and we had a nice dinner planed and we were going to go for a walk by the lake under the moon light. That is what we planed but not what happen we went out to dinner but had to skip the walk it was raining non stop. We got to the hotel room we both just sat on the bed for what seem forever, I know I was scared and not sure what to do next and I think she was too. After a while we started kissing and to undress and had sex, I did not use made love for the reason it was not like what you see in movies or tv. I was nice and kind of special but not magic like we wanted . Like one of the ladies said you do not need a hotel room to make it special all you need is your love . I am going to tell you some of the bad things that happened to us , the condom broke - in fear till her next period(19days) it was very painful for her which took some of the "magic"away. Looking back I would have skipped the hotel room we were only in it for like 4 hours and we went back to her house to watch tv, the whole act of sex took maybe 15 minutes and after that it was over with a little hugging and kisses. I do not know anything about you ,but I would rethink the pressure you are putting on yourself to make it so special. My gf atthe time and I sex few times after that and they were more fun than the 1st. We were more relaxed and we just had fun enjoying eachother . We know eachother from babies and our parents would kid us the we were dated from the moment we could crawl, we broke up 3 months later we just did. Not trying to scare you or tell you i will not be like you planed , just wanted to shar what could happen. and unless you are one of the lucky 17 year olds that this is your true love and you two will grow old together , you will have other 1st and they be that "special" you are looking for . Use condoms (buy some fresh) and enjoy the moment.
2016-03-27 01:32:12 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have other children with his ex? I'd be concerned about the message that NOT getting married sends to the kid(s). It's easy for one or the other of you to walk away when you're just living together. Marriage is all about a commitment: to each other and to the children. If he loves his daughter, he will commit to your family.
I'd also be worried about what would happen to you and your daughter if something happened to him and you weren' t married. Would his assets go to you or to the ex-wife???
2006-09-14 10:33:05 · answer #6 · answered by 40yomama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you let him make you a baby, whats so bad in finding out if he want to get married. It's not the next step, the baby is forever, this is just a piece of paper.
2006-09-14 10:26:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think he wants to marry you? He has it good. No commitment, has marked you as his woman, so he can brag he is fertile. Where might a wedding get, other than deeper in debt. I think you better leave well enough alone or you will spook him into better territory. How long was he with his wife? That will clue you into how much longer he might hang around.
2006-09-14 10:02:31 · answer #8 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of playing games, why don't you just ask him? Most guys I know hate it when their girlfriends do stuff like this. Just be open and tell him what you want without taking 15 minutes to get to the point.
2006-09-14 10:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why fix what aint broke?
You have a good life. A good man, family. Things are great. Hes scared of marriage, with good reason. Why rock the boat for a piece of paper? Take and enjoy whats been given to you. And if/when hes ready, he will propose.
2006-09-14 09:59:15 · answer #10 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋